Date: January 04 2007 1:57 PM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
Nice and well told
Date: May 10 2006 11:36 AM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
I loved this story very much. I ennjoy the way both tinies become addicted to serving Stephanie's giant needs and how she seduces them. I love when both
are begging close to tears to be granted the pleasure to make love to her.
And I enjoyed the kind benevolence of the giant teen who cares for the little ones. There is a lot of mutual affection in this story and pleasure and delight seems to be winning
of any "clear-minded" reasonability.
Author's Response: Obviously, we think alike, litlpeta. I will add a new chapter within one month. Ranger Joe is not done yet. Also, I have corrected a large number of grammer errors in chapter one today. I was pretty sloppy until I employed my programs checking features. thanks for the input
[Report This]Date: May 09 2006 1:00 PM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
Wow, great story. I really like how you spent the early part of the story developing everyone and then slowly unleashed the story.
I was going to comment on the lack of paragraphing but i see you fixed that. It really makes a huge difference.
The character development is pretty good, but a little bit more would have helped solidify stephanie and sarah.
Overall though great story and I am looking forward to more.
Author's Response: I am honored by your kind words and appreciate your input, Asukafan2001. Today I used a grammer check feature and discovered much sloppyness which I will try to avoid in the future. I upload the corrected file. I do plan a chapter 2 within a month, and possibly a final chapter 3 dealing with the big trip to New Orleans in search of salvation. Thanks.
[Report This]Date: May 09 2006 12:23 AM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
The story is pretty awesome, love reading the parts where the teen girl loves , make love, and protects the park ranger and the teacher. But the grammar sort of threw me off. But all in all, like the story.
Author's Response: I apologize for the sloppyness of the story, Vord. Today I uploaded it again after having my word processing progams grammer checker do its work. It was amazing how clumsy I was. I do plan a chapter 2 release within one month. Ranger Joe is not done yet. Personally, I have difficulty envisioning stories involving a violent end. Mutual love conquers all. thanks
[Report This]Date: May 07 2006 11:57 PM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
I'm sorry, this might be a good story, but I just couldn't quite get over the lack of paragraphs and grammar issues.
Author's Response: Thank you for your input, DX Machina. I now have edited my story into paragraphs and cleaned up a few other things I missed. Please give "Joe's Tiny Adventures" another try before you jettison it to the trash heap of history.
[Report This]Date: May 07 2006 7:09 PM Title: The Voodoo Cheeseburger
Good story. Please continue.
One suggestion; divide it up into more paragraphs in order to make it easier to read.
Author's Response: Thanks for the advice, SafetyPin.