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Reviewer: littlemac Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 16 2011 10:52 AM Title: Chapter 2

I like your style of writing, and this is a very good first story! It's nice that your sentences are grammatically correct and free of spelling errors.

As a pointer, you do want to have these opening chapters provide motivation and characterization for your upcoming climax. It sets the stage, so to speak. They might be a little more boring to write, but the readers truly appreciate it, trust me!

Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: aaron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 09 2011 10:18 AM Title: Chapter 2

oh thats why shes mom.. great start. very realistic, and the characters are remarkable. love the relastionship the the mother son have. an the building up for the next chapter was superb.
well done.

aaron
ps when eric was rubbing vanessa's feet were they bare or with stockings?

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