You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: July 10 2011 4:04 PM Title: Chapter 2; The start of "the good stuff"

So here in chapter 2 epscially, I think it would best if you put speech on separate lines to the description. I just makes your story easier to read.

You must login (register) to review.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.