Reviewer: AdamX Signed [Report This]
Date: August 30 2011 2:48 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later

I have to say your writing of Carly is tremendous. I know the humiliation route has been done many times before but the way she does it has a certain -homegrown- touch to it that I can't put my finger on.

 

Also if you are looking to start a new story I would love to see even if it's a one off epilouge of how Ashley made out.

 

Keep up the good work.

Author's Response:

i'm glad you think i'm making a well-worn genre work.  the new story will probably be a separate thing, but i might someday get around to a follow-up on family reunion

Reviewer: happiest_in_shadows Signed [Report This]
Date: August 25 2011 10:19 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later

I have to say Carly is triggering some fairly strong feelings of dislike and wanting to see her suffer. I wonder if that's really what the guy should be hoping for though. After all even if Carly had to pay for what she'd done at some point that doesn't mean his life becomes better. Rather then hoping to see Carly pay perhaps seeking better treatment would be a better move.

Now on the subject of better treatment I don't believe the male lead is really doing his best to obtain that or has really given in. Doing what Carly wants him to do whenever she tells him to do something or is made to do it, not arguing with her and given preprogrammed responses these aren't the acts of a pet or a slave. Rather those are the acts of a tool.

I would even go so far as to say he's putting up some passive resistance to what she wants in that she has to tell him what she wants or at least show him. This really isn't giving into her or giving her what she wants from what I can tell. What she seems to desire is to be worshiped and that goes beyond doing what he is told to do in that moment.

In those five years has he really tried to move beyond the status of tool and into the category of pet? When she comes home don't stand there and wait for her to pick him up jump up and down and tell her how happy you are to see her. When in her fingers don't just let her hold you kiss those fingers and if she likes it lick them as well. Grasp her thumb with all your might and hug it. When she licks him kiss her tongue or lick it in return. Look into her mouth and ask her if she'd like you to check her teeth and see if they need anything remove from between them.

Now I can't say for certain whether or not this would have the desired result of moving from tool or toy to devoted pet status in Carly's eyes but after five years it seems worth a try. It might back fire but it still seems worth the attempt. After all the little dog that greets you with yelping and playful antics is a heck of a lot more loughable then the one that just grunts at you.

Author's Response:

i agree with essentially everything you've said here about toy vs. pet, and fear not; i've thought all these factors through, and unlike the first 2 blackmail stories, i have a very deliberate direction i intend to take this story in; i hope you enjoy the ride.

Reviewer: randysavage Signed [Report This]
Date: August 24 2011 7:51 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later

you have a lot to live up to with how awesome your previous 2 stories were.  but this first chapter already has me excited for what's about to happen next.  great work man

Author's Response: thanks, i'll certainly do my best