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Reviewer: SafetyPin Signed [Report This]
Date: December 31 2012 10:04 PM Title: 1: Going to her Place

Good start. Well written. Good potential.
I'll wait for the real action to begin before giving it a rating. 



Author's Response:

Gracias. I hope you find it meets that potential.

Reviewer: sm7in Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 31 2012 5:36 PM Title: 1: Going to her Place

Straight to the point without really sacrificing content. Nice story, I look forward to what may come.

 

As to critiquing, formating was fine (confused me a little at first too) no prominent typos but the paragraph opening with "Score" is a little difficult to figure out at first, and you may want to fix the sentence where he shrinks down under his clothes.



Author's Response:

Thanks. I tweaked those parts just a little bit, and I think they're clearer now.

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