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Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 08 2014 6:36 PM Title: Day 9, Part 1

Great stuff, Not sure who I'm rooting for.



Author's Response:

Thanks! I can tell you it was hard to pick a winner, and I was well over halfway into writing before I even decided who was going to win!

Reviewer: aaron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 08 2014 4:58 PM Title: Day 9, Part 1

I vote for Sandra. And great chapters. Welcome back.

aaron

Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 08 2014 3:58 PM Title: Day 9, Part 1

"But Annie turned it into her personal palace as she put Dave through every kind of thing she could imagine putting a four inch tall person through" Show, don't tell, thoroughly and with detail, makes every story better. This seems a bit anti-climatic after the end of the last chapter.

"Who are you rooting for?" That depends on what really happens to the winner.

I also noticed some typos in there. Closer proofreading, or an editor, would help here.



Author's Response:

I agree with you, I should have gone into more detail and I probably should have edited this story a little more carefully. Thankfully my writing ability has improved since 2006 and I don't have a lot of these problems anymore!

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