[Report This]Date: May 08 2013 10:56 PM Title: Day 1
Real good start on this. I like the set-up, Ethan's in quite a pinch, with his bosse's daughter...
The spacing needs to be doubled, more-so, when there is dialog, the seperation works better that way. It's hard to get used to, (I know, because I'm still improving alot on this style myself), but as I read the quality of your writing shows that you can do it....
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it. I know about the writing. Haha. I Nearly everyone has said that is the biggest problem so far.
Thank you for the comment, hope you are enjoying the story, and I will be working on my writing style to make it more enjoyable for ya'll.
[Report This]Date: May 07 2013 10:50 PM Title: Day 1
OK, this sounds interesting.
I like your writing style.
Looking forward to see where this leads.
Note: there's no need for any running comentary to the reader.
Simple descriptions of each chapter will suffice.
Author's Response:
I can't apologize for the commentary. I myself enjoy to see what the reader says when reading stories and enjoy getting a word in before and after the chapter. I'm glad you are at least intrigued but may I suggest if you don't want to read the commentary, simply don't. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to do so.
Date: May 07 2013 3:15 PM Title: Day 1
Liking this a lot so far. Good stuff. You seem to have a great grasp of the written language, and the story flows smoothly. My one grammatical complaint is that when different people are talking they each deserve their own paragraph... sentence... whatever.
Lori's words and thoughts should be separate from Ethan's or anyone else. Otherwise a GREAT read!!!
Looking forward to more!
Thanks for sharing!
Curt
Author's Response:
I appreciate that. I definitely see where your coming from and will try to make it a point to separate their thoughts and speaking to make it an easier read