Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: July 30 2013 6:09 PM Title: Chemistry Class

You need to take things slower, it feels like you wanted to just blow through writting this as fast as you could...That not gonna make a good story, in my opinion.

I think that you are also being too non-chalant about certain things, such as when she asks him to be with her forever all of a sudden and he's like "yeah whatever". Those kinds of things make your characters feel robotic.

Its a good start though, Im glad you decided to start writting.