[Report This]Date: January 31 2014 8:30 PM Title: Detention
One thing that really bugs me, is when writers don't capitalize the letter 'I' when using it as 'first person'...
-even when it's not at the begining of a sentence. "I walked over to the car, so that I could get my thing's", I said.
-there were a few other little glitches too, but you would have easily caught them yourself if you'd edited a little better, so I'm not going to go into all that...
The plot was pretty good, although it seemed a bit rushed, slower and smoother always works better!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I should have mentioned this last review, but you didn't descibe Ms. Silva very much, only that she wore black dress and white shirt...
A writer could easily go on for several paragraphs just discribing the main character. As she is going to be the 'Giantess' right?
But, the content is definitely there! Just slow down, and re-read it a couple times before posting it, and you'll probably find alot of those little discrepancies yourself... but, you'll still mis a few, I always do! Even the best writers occasionally do!
Author's Response: True, I admit I was not really proofreading much, becuase I was just so into my story, that I just kept writing rather than fixing first. As for the capital "I", I understand it can be a bug especially since I have a friend who is learning Spanish and there are upside down exclamation points which look like lowercase I's. What bugs me when I read a story is when I read something and I cant picture it in my mind. As for describing Miss Silva, I thought that if I put my dream teacher's appearance, not everyone will also see that person as attractive. I personally am turned off when a story mentions that the giantess is a blonde. I just thought that an age group and clothing are enough and I will let the reader picture their own fantasy teacher for Miss Silva. It is similiar with names too. I met some people who are not exactly attractive to me and their names when I hear, I think of that unatractive person. So I tried to go with an uncommon last name like Silva. Notice how I never mentioned Miss Silva's first name. It was originally a name that referenced a hot girl I met, but I deleted that in case people didnt fancy that name. Basically, if I said that Miss Silva was 5 foot 7, there would be some readers wishing that they were a little taller. If I said she had red hair, some people may not prefer red. Same thing with weight. I just say that she looks sexy and let the readers use their imagination to fill it up. However, if you want me to specify Miss Silva, then I shall do so.