[Report This]Date: September 28 2018 8:46 AM Title: Chapter 44
Wow i almost forget what a chore it is to read through your story chapters, squashed123 ^^ but very rewarding. Another good chapter and i hope not another absence of yours is incoming, its torture to wait for stories like this to continue :)
Well not more to say that i didnt already say in past comments, no friend of repeating myself but as comment for this chapter, i do hope the prince makes it out of there alive to report about Jenna´s misstep, that she didnt even take the time to look under her shoe and took her assume of the prince fate as fact and there for killed everybody.... And Laura taking a nap in the wilderness leaving her allies alone besieged and sending the rescuced one alone to the besieged castle.. that will be a bad surprise for her.
I so much hope they both are finaly punished with some consequences. They are nothing but the purest evil.. they only think with their stomach or their pussy.. eating or smashing for fun even their given word is worthless.. some really pointy ballista bolt tipped with poison.. would serve them well i think or simply... pure pain in some way to begin with to show them they are not invincible and cannot get away with everything.
I am almost so far to say that it bores me that they really can do what ever they want.. be the bitches from hell who can turn against every ally because of an itch in their pussies and nobody can ever make them pay.
How about some ancient burried gozilla like tarasque monster returns to the surface.. sended by the twelve gods to bunish them.. i think it would be almost fun.. if Laura or Janna or both would suffer some permanent body damage.. like loosing an eye or limb or even only a really deep permanent scar..
Wow now i feel mean myself for wishing something bad to happen to fictional charackters... ^^
[Report This]Date: September 05 2018 3:04 PM Title: Chapter 44
Nice chapter. I really like Lissandra's character. Cutesy and that part where she said "I like air, I'd like a place with air" was funny/cute but screwed up all the same. Hope she doesn't get smooshed too soon. As usual Janna is a huge bitch that kills and tortures to entertain herself and on a whim. I like the monster girls too, especially the submissive one. Lissandra tho is a much more interesting character, a broken-slave that tries really hard for the sake of merely staying alive even though their life sucks and always will, almost like she's on autopilot.
I'm wondering what the end game is for this story if there even is one? Is this just gonna be: Janna stomps a villiage chapter then Laura stomps one, then back the Janna again till you run out of scenarios? Not saying that's a bad thing but I'm curious. Some of the other characters are doing their own thing and are sort of interesting too but I mostly stick around for the GTS action but it's feeling a bit same-y.
It's like I already know that Janna and Laura are gonna kill a bunch of medieval tinies in a given chapter but I'm hoping for more curveballs. You were throwing more out in the beginning. Things like the Sea God, or that wizard guy that possesed Laura, or the time Janna or was it Laura? got lit on fire, or when the other ship arrived and it was tiny sized, and even the beginning when we had the Good GTS/Bad Gts dynamic that kept things more interesting imo. But most chapters now it's just stomp a village here, rip and guy in half there, use a chick as sex toy, etc, with basically both Laura and Janna.
Anyway I'm still reading this story so it's got me hooked regardless, the chapter sizes are still huge and sometimes I gotta sit on one for a while till I find the time to read it all in one go, so my comments are late. It's still well written, etc. So don't think I stopped liking this story, these are just critiques, nitpicks and my opinions.
Author's Response:
That's so absolutely right. And there is this pendulum as well, build something, fuck it, build something, fuck it. I am working on it but development is slow. I hate stories that just go "then a miracle occurs" but perhaps I am a bit too obsessed with build up.
And I feel like the gts stuff gotta be in there. I try to use the regular people for plot, but then I get carried away with building them up.
I am planning to go a bit further into the future soon. I sort of sabotaged myself when I took away magic as well which limits the options for the adversaries. Got a few big ideas, though. Stay tuned.
Thank you SO MUCH for this. This is what I needed.