[Report This]Date: May 27 2014 8:01 AM Title: Chapter 10
Think now's as agood a time as any to post a review. Noticed this story on some of the other places I frequent and never took the time to read, so I felt now was as good a time as any. Just finished chapter 10, so not even close to halfway through it, really finding myself getting attached to the character and setting. Very solid foundation here.
There are a few quirks to get used to, chapters not being chapters so much as dialogue bleeds over into the next one. Nor are there many times where a chapter could end. Given these early chapters were written a while ago it not be an issue. A few consistent typos wrest instead of rest, and ideal instead of idea but those are minor too.
One thing though that I hope is decreased going forward are Joseph's exposition moments. Moments where he talks to a sister or brother and has a lengthy Q/A session. While it's good for establishing the world at times it might be better to show and not tell. Still as you said the writing style will likely change so maybe that element will as well.
Author's Response:
I hope that it isn't appearing too many places. I once posted my stories just about everywhere I could but then came to think that was poor behavior so i restricted it to a few sites. I'm glad that you're liking the characters enough to continue reading. It's quite a bit to read.
True about the issues with the earlier chapters. Well the chapters here aren't really spaced how I normally space them anyway. On my deviantart account the story is actually sectioned into 12 page chunks instead of 30. Plus I like to believe I've improved my writing throughout this story. If I have the later chapters should read more smoothly.
I can't remember the story perfectly but I'm not sure if that changes. One thing about writing a story with so many characters is the massive amount of information there is to get across. If I showed everytime instead of telling the story would have taken even longer to write.