Reviewer: Naoru Signed [Report This]
Date: October 12 2014 6:29 PM Title: Disorientation

Author's Response:

Excellent; this was the plan all along.

Reviewer: applecore666 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 12 2014 3:49 PM Title: Disorientation

Oh god, the wait is going to be absolutely suffocating to find out what happens next--this is why I hate reading not-already-finished stories, especially great ones, but I can't help myself, and can only hope maybe the ending chapters get churned out at a quicker pace.

Echoing a below poster's concern, it's hard to see two chapters being able to clear everything up, and I hope it doesn't just skip over things/explain them with exposition isntead of showing what happens--there's nothing worse than a great story that trips at the finish line/ending.  But perhaps those chapters will be much longer, don't know--you've gotten us this far, guess it's best to just give you the benefit of the doubt that you know what you're doing, story-wise.  Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't voice concerns like this unless I thought the story was awesome.

 

 

Author's Response:

I do intend to get the ending out faster than some of the earlier chapters, so hopefully the wait won't be as bad. I know 2 doesn't seem like a lot for all the loose ends that need tying, but as you guessed, they are both fairly long, and I hope people are satisfied with them. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: sithlordnergal Signed [Report This]
Date: October 12 2014 2:12 PM Title: Disorientation

Oh wow, this chapter really hurt, but in a good way. You did an amazing job conveying the emotions going on here. And the way you ended it was perferct. I honestly feel bad for Lexi and Bridget. Now, Bridget is not innocent here, not in the least. She should have been listening when Lexi repeatedly insisted on being innocent. That's not just because Lexi is her friend, but just something an Enforcer should do anyway. If a prisoner continues to claim innoccence no matter what, something is up. Either that person is nuts, or the investigation missed something. It was her job to find the actual truth, not force her truth on someone else.

 

Now for the actual events...those just really drive the knife in and twist them. The fact that she dropped Lexi really hits hard after re-reading the chapters and spotting a small three sentence section in chapter 7. For those who don't remember, here's Bridget's quote: 

“Don’t be scared,” the Omega wheedled.  “I’ve never ever let anybody fall.”

 

So, that already sets up the fact that Bridget took pride in the fact that she never drops people when she was younger, and I can't imagine that has changed any time soon. So, lets do a small tally here:

1: Bridget accidentally dropped, and broke the leg of her prisoner. Due to her being a top enforcer and is constantly described as a kind anf gentle person, I get the feeling that something like this would hurt Bridget normally, no matter who it happened to.

2: She gets to find out her prisoner was innocent all along, and her punishments were given to someone who did not deserve them. Again, due to Bridget being described as someone who adheres to justice and some sort of fairness, this would hurt her deeply. Or it should if she honestly holds things like justice as close to her heart as we've been led to believe.

3: Finally, all of this happened to her best friend, someone she sees as a sister, and she caused it. 

 

If that doesn't break Bridget, then nothing will. And I don't get me started on poor Lexi. The Aegis corperation has a LOT to answer for. And honestly, I'm not sure how you'll be able to wrap this all up in two chapters. I mean, we have Lexi and what she's gone through (unless she dies from her injuries and is no longer part of the story), Bridget coming to terms with what she's done and her emotional response to it all, and what happens to the Beta that caused all this. Even id you don't do an epilogue that's a good three chapters there, unless, as I said, Lexi isn't featured in the end chapters.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reading/reviewing! Glad you liked the end. Good work noticing that line as well; it's definitely meant to foreshadow the fall. Lexi and Bridget both have some healing to do, for sure. I know there's a lot to cover for the conclusion in 2 chapters, but everything that needs to be wrapped up will be.

Reviewer: Kusanagi Signed [Report This]
Date: October 12 2014 10:55 AM Title: Disorientation

This could be as tragic as it gets if there's nothing that can be done for her. Whether she lives or dies the Omegas better do some serious soul searching about their policies after this.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing. And you're right that the Omegas will have some thinking to do.

Reviewer: sithlordnergal Signed [Report This]
Date: October 07 2014 6:35 PM Title: Disorientation

Ah-ha, so the truth finally starts to be revealed. I've been waiting for this moment for ages, ever since the story started. More then that, I want to see just how hard this news hots people, and how Alexandra reacts to being told they made a mistake. She better not forgive them easily. I know I wouldn't.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing! I won't spoil, but it's probably no secret to say the truth will hit pretty hard, particularly for those who've been punishing Alexandra.

Reviewer: greaterthan3 Signed [Report This]
Date: October 07 2014 1:42 PM Title: Disorientation

Pleaaaaaase tell me the revelation is the villain has a reason for framing Alex... I don't want them jumping to the conclusion she wanted revenge for her mom..

 

You've done a wonderful job at creating a story that's emotionally depressing (in a good way) it mmakes me feel helpless to read. ..I just want a happy ending :(

Author's Response:

Well, it actually was a consideration that she wanted revenge, but they're beginning to see things clearly now.  Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Naoru Signed [Report This]
Date: September 19 2014 10:47 AM Title: Disorientation

@Nostory no one is inmune to verbal agression. I would be happy just with that. I know Bridget has her reasons, and she can help but believe what its at sight, but she should think that her best friend, her adopted sister, wouldnt lie, at least after that much damage. When people dont break at so much pressure and torture, they usually are innocent or dont know anything.

Author's Response:

Right-on with the verbal aggression.  You're correct that Bridget is going to have to confront things soon based on the fact that Lexi still hasn't caved despite all the torment.  The story is starting to build to a head here.

Reviewer: Naoru Signed [Report This]
Date: September 18 2014 8:26 PM Title: Disorientation

@NightEye no, no, nooo where did you got that?at the end she says that she thinked on doing so, but that no one can take her trut away. She wont lie.

This was chilling to the bone. Im going to be very distresed until I can read next chapter.Wicked side of me wants Lexie to get back at Bridget when everything is solved.

Author's Response:

You're right, she's not going to lie.  Glad I could cause some distress.  And I guess we'll just have to wait and see on Lexi getting back, won't we?

Reviewer: Simpson3k Signed [Report This]
Date: September 08 2014 7:30 AM Title: Disorientation

This is really an intressting story. At the current point of the story i am still not sure if Alex did what she is charged for or if she is innocent and those betas maligned her. I wonder if you (the writer) are even sure about that fact at this point ^^ .

 

Anyway if she will be innocence in the end it the truth becomes puplic knowlede to the omegas and most important to Bridget, i wonder how she will react after what she did to her "friend" and if her friendship will be over after this.

 

But hey perhaps Alex is begging Bridget for death before it happens to end her suffering.

Author's Response:

I have a very specific plot in mind for this, so there is an answer to that that will show up later in the story.

Reviewer: Naoru Signed [Report This]
Date: August 18 2014 9:00 AM Title: Disorientation

This story reminds meof a short video I watched once "A man in the woods" a child in a school starts to say that there is a man in the woods in which proximity the kidsplay in the school. Starts to describe the man as a killer, and all the kids start to talk about it,and to say they watched the man too. Soon the parents know, and the principalstart being harassed. He know the kid is lying, but no one would believe that a "sweet innocent child"would lie. That the principal is neglecting to do something about the killer,and they get him fired and ruin his life. The principal then goes to the woods, deciding to play along with the lie forced upon him,and kills the lying child.

I dont think its a thing of omegas being abusive; its about when someone we perceive as a victim, a child, a woman, someone we see as innocent and unable to lie, acuses someone of abuse, what can you do? teenager girls have accused teachers of molestation, just for being grounded or their cellphones taken. It happends. Now, think on this universe. A beta, a small, helpless creature that had been abused as a race over the years. One calls on an alpha abuser, and no one ever thinksit can be lying or being confused. They are seen as victims for the omega. They instantly believe.

 

I picture a story with an alfa falsely acused that breaks and starts murdering betas, to take upon the label forced on them. It could happend, anytime, because the omegas cant just believe. They got to be sure. It happends with anyone, in any society.

Author's Response:

You bring up some interesting points.  Certainly, a conflict I'm trying to shed light on here is the one of Alphas and Betas, albeit from a different angle than has been shown before, and how their past involving Beta subjugation has made it easier for this situation to arise. The Omegas are indeed not being abusive, and do their best to give fair treatment to everyone, but in certain cases like this one, it's hard not to side with the Betas.