Date: August 09 2014 11:02 AM Title: Disorientation
Really enjoying the story so far, and I'm even more glad to hear through the comments that the story is only going to be around 12 chapters long--so many stories, on this site or otherwise, fall into that trap of being endless in length. Something like this, tightly focused on about two characters, is definitely a work best suited to a length of around that size.
Author's Response:
Thanks! The story really is meant to zero in on two characters (and arguably a third later on), so the length seemed more appropriate.
Date: August 09 2014 8:53 AM Title: Disorientation
Hmmm, that is very damming evidence against Alexandra...I'm still hoping she is innocent though, but I'm very curious how she is innocent.
Author's Response:
Hehe. All I can say is there's definitely more than meets the eye here.
Date: July 30 2014 10:04 PM Title: Disorientation
It's late, I'm exhausted, but I made an account just to toss in a review--love the story, it's probably the only one in recent memory that made me want to genuinely read it, rather than try to skip around and find the naughty bits.
Excellent blend of both story and the fetishy stuff, and I find myself eagerly waiting to see what happens next--the setup is very intriguing from a psychological standpoint, and I think my most anticipated point might be if/when Bridget finds out Alex is innocent, how she's done so much damage over nothing...and how she reacts, maybe trying (maybe failing) to repair the relationship.
Anyway, great job, keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks for doing that, it means a lot, and I'm glad you're following the plot as well as the smut. Rest assured the truth, whatever it is, will eventually come out and cause a bit of collateral damage.
Date: July 29 2014 3:25 PM Title: Disorientation
Finally, I've been waiting for this for ages! Ahhh, I can't wait to see how this is effecting Bridget, and I desperately want to know the alleged crimes. Also, I wonder how many times mistakes like these happen...
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: July 24 2014 4:48 PM Title: Disorientation
Guess I'll respond again.
They don't have trials because Aegis is a private organization that is under no obligations beyond what they choose to impose upon themselves as a group, for better or for worse. They don't have trials because they see no reason for them after they have a panel review any and all evidence and then make a decision.
I've used the term "pseudo-dystopia" to describe this universe in the past, I believe. This is one of the reasons why.
Date: July 19 2014 9:10 PM Title: Disorientation
Going off your most recent story I'm looking forward to how you treat this one. There've been plenty of stories that push readers towards supporting horrendous punishment using fallacious 'just-world' reasoning; it's about time someone other than the Alphas faced the consequences for their poor decisions.
Assuming, of course, the 'twist' isn't that she was actually guilty all along! That would be way too meta
Date: July 19 2014 3:34 PM Title: Disorientation
@Rizcar
I don’t know about Bridget and Alexandra but Corey’s attacks were originally supposed to be given to Jenna. Kayla actually saved Stephanie and Naomi by giving them to Claire in retrospect.
Author's Response:
Good point to bring up. Though not for the same reason, Alexandra was going to go to another enforcer as well until extenuating circumstances put her with Bridget instead.
Date: July 19 2014 2:04 PM Title: Disorientation
I'll go ahead and answer gadget's question just to put it out there and make it clear:
Kayla does not read the mind of every single person processed. Not even most or even half of them, not by a longshot. The reason she does so in Consequences is due to the personal connection with Abby, that's it. Lexi, sadly, does not have that benefit.
[Report This]Date: July 19 2014 1:50 PM Title: Disorientation
I think Bridget is a pretty shitty friend if she doesn't even CONSIDER the possibility that her friend is innocent.
The Omegas are kinda stuck-up if the think they can't ever make any mistakes, my only question is: Why hasn't Kayla read her mind yet?
If she did that would clear up any doubts as to whether or not Alexandria is innocent or not. I guess there is also the possibility that Kayla DID read Alex's mind and found her guilty...
Good stuff Jack, this story is definitely worthy of the Omegaverse!
Author's Response:
I promise, Bridget isn't just shrugging off the possibility; in the next couple of chapters, we'll see exactly why she's forced to take this viewpoint.
I'd answer about Kayla, but Ackbar's got ya covered in the comment above.
[Report This]Date: July 19 2014 10:48 AM Title: Disorientation
Makes me wonder how this went down it's pretty hard to fake injuries. Perhaps the betas were intimidated into fingering the wrong person, maybe paid off...
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing! More details will be revealed about the crime itself in the next couple of chapters.
[Report This]Date: July 19 2014 10:29 AM Title: Disorientation
This is going to be painful for everyone involved. I feel sorry for how hard it's going to hit Bridget once the truth comes out.
Author's Response:
It's probably not going to be pretty, however it goes down...
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 8:57 PM Title: Disorientation
this will be interesting, though I wonder if I have the stomach for it enough to see it through. It's a lot easier to get through Ackbar's moments knowing the person was guilty but an innocent woman... Well in either case I'm here for the short term!
Author's Response:
Well, I appreciate you giving it a try. Thanks for reviewing!
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 5:30 PM Title: Disorientation
Good stuff as always Mr. Jack
Author's Response:
Thanks Mr. Adam
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 3:36 PM Title: Disorientation
Good premise. It shows a side of Ackbar's world that needs to be explored. Let's see what you do with it.
Author's Response:
I'll do my best!
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 3:25 PM Title: Disorientation
Great setup. Looking forward to see what happens next. But I'm really looking forward to Time-Out 6. Cannot wait to see that story.
aaron
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. Hope to hear your thoughts on Timeout 6 as well.
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 2:42 PM Title: Disorientation
This will hurt, from start to finish and even more when Bridget learns she subjected an innocent person to torture.
Author's Response:
...probably an understatement there.
Date: July 12 2014 12:49 PM Title: Disorientation
Well never thought I’d be reading a Jacksmith story but its good Ackbar decided to have a story to show that Aegis and the Omegas are less than perfect. I’m interested to see how this goes.
Author's Response:
I guess there's a first for everything. Thanks for reading!
Date: July 12 2014 12:47 PM Title: Disorientation
Yes, I have been waiting for a story like this for a while. And if what the other reviewers are saying, then you may be the perfect person to write this. I love Akbar's setting, and I like the possibilities. However, there has always been a major question on my mind that has never been answered, what happens if they get something wrong?
There are soooo many ways this can go and so many things I'm interested in seeing. First and foremost, I can't wait to see if she is innocent. Of course I am hoping that she is innocent and did nothing wrong, as that would show just what happens when they get it wrong and what Omegas do to fix such mistakes. Another interesting addition is that it's her friend punishing her. I hope to see both POVs, and judging by what she said earlier it seems like she has a great record. I'd like to see her friend's thoughts on the whole ordeal. You have my attention with an excellent premise and a great opening. I know you won't disappoint, so no pressure. ^_^
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading/reviewing! I hope to do justice to Ackbar's world. I don't want to spoil anything, though you can rest assured all those questions you mentioned will get answered in the story, and the perspectives of both girls will indeed be shown.
[Report This]Date: July 12 2014 11:48 AM Title: Disorientation
Wait..Is this an ACTUAL mistake? Knowing Akbar I feel like there is NO way, she must have done something wrong. This is prolly the whole: she she did something wrong but she doesnt realize it thing...
Then again it IS jacksmith who wrote this so...
Author's Response:
Not wanting to spoil anything, I'll just sit here and snicker as you try to puzzle it out. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: July 12 2014 11:41 AM Title: Disorientation
It seems there's no due process, nor a chance for her to defend herself. If an officer of the law came up to me like that, I'd be wondering WHAT I did too, since it seems like you need a law degree to live in today's world. I always thought Omegas had some superhuman abilities besides their size. You would think they would be able to avoid mistakes like this. Unless the mistake is discovered, Alexandra is going to get the FULL treatment like Marion in the Consequences story, or worse. She'll profess her innocence until she's broken, then she'd say anything to get the suffering to stop. THAT'S probably when they'll discover their mistake. I wonder what would happen then? Can you sue an Omega? This is well written, but like all your stories I'll proceed cautiously and hope things won't get as bad as I've said.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing. I'll hold off on confirming/denying any of your predictions since we're only a chapter in, but I like your thinking. And actually, despite the grim premise, there is going to be a decent amount of gentle-themed content in this story, so hopefully that'll help soften the blow of the more intense stuff.