[Report This]Date: November 14 2014 11:23 PM Title: Chapter 3
Hopefully it doenst stay unaware the whole time, it's nice in the beginning but I like it when there is eventually interaction between them. This story has my attention going to keep an eye on it, looking forward to the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: November 14 2014 10:53 AM Title: Chapter 3
So, let me see if I have the names straight. Meg is the "dirty" blonde with the black yoga pants and red pull-over blouse. Ashley is the brunette with the t-shirt and blue jeans. And Jess is the Middle Eastern girl...with a wardrobe as still unknown as the bleached blonde's first name.
You still need to work on that separation, though.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the input! After reading my work over a third time, big mistake! I accidentally named the girl with dirty blonde hair 2 different names: Megs and Ashley. I intended to make the girl with brown hair as Ashley, dirty blonde as Megs, bleach blonde as Jess and the middle Eastern girl I hadn't introduced yet. Thanks for picking up on that!
I'm practicing by introducing characters into a story in a sort of natural way as if you yourself were the main character learning who the other characters were. As you may have noticed, I definitely need to work on that! Will spend some time editing it a bit to improvement, thank you!