Date: May 03 2016 3:24 AM Title: Prelude
I already the last chapter and you know what I think of it so I'll comment on the epilogue which I didn't read until now. I agree it was a good decision not to have The Virgin named Mary. Rose is good name and having her smush the last guy made sense too. Good stuff and I cannot wait to see your next story!
Author's Response: Thank you bro! My next fair is going to e muuuuuch more gentle than this one. :)
[Report This]Date: May 02 2016 2:23 AM Title: Prelude
I have to say, I think I'm the only one who dislikes the sudden violent and cold turn the virgin took; you previously established her as a caring 'soft' person (with her waiting for marriage) how she behaved, and my favourite moment was when she felt resentment for crushing a lot of those people. I feel as though she's morphing into the stereotypical destructive character, when there are more layers to her character.
For example, I would have found it interesting if she tried to communicate with them as she said before, rather than decide to go the genocide route after seeing them rape a girl. It doesn't make sense to me that she sees one being attacked and decides that they all should die (I know, they were doing voo-doo rape stuff on her).
All in all, she doesn't seem like a killer; it would be awesome and chilling if she crushed a couple with her tenderiser and then became heavily conflicted with playing an angry goddess among the little people. Nice descriptions though;I can imagine your running out of adjectives to describe this gore fest.
Author's Response:
Great review and criticism!
While I too love me some gentle/kind gts, i would defend the Virgin as a violent character in this instance- shes beend traumatized, had a second chance she willingly gave thrown in her face by the actions of the kitchen rapists, and probably cant forget what happened to her, the girl who had her throat cut, and the woman who was raped and killed. Do I agree that the Virgin killing 100+ to take revenge is an extreme example of flying off the handle? Yes, I do agree. I would submit, however, that people do in fact change- given enough trauma, anyone can change personalities- I feel like the virgin just sort of dipped her toes into the dark side. Well, more like went waist deep. However, like you said, there were layers. Yes, on some level, the virgin is still a soft girl. But throughout her rampage, she discovers more about herself, her power, etc. I would argue that this story is ultimately about transformation (i lie, it's a fucking gts story): the Virgin transforms into the goddess that te little cult worships.
I wouldn't change the way I wrote the virgin this time. I would, however, love to revive her, possibly for a new adventure.
You've given me a great deal to think about, and i feel like I've learned from this. THank you so much for reading and making comments! I rate your review 10/10.
Date: May 01 2016 8:42 AM Title: Prelude
Michael said what I wanted to say,great way to set up the end!
Author's Response:
well, i hope it meets your approval ;)
[Report This]Date: April 06 2016 7:38 PM Title: Prelude
The extreme gore is not my usual cup of tea, but I find the Virgin character very compelling. Also enjoy your writing style. Thanks for posting an update!
Author's Response:
Yeah, this is def my first rodeo concerning gore. Thank you for the review! I quite like the Virgin character myself. I'll keep pushing for updates (probably not as long a wait though ;) )
Date: April 06 2016 8:50 AM Title: Prelude
You weren't kidding about the gore here but its hard to sympathise with the tinies, she is somewhat justified in killing them.
Author's Response:
Hey Nostory, thanks for reading.
Yeah, I'm wondering if it was a stretch to have the Virgin become remorseful after her first rampage. I'm glad that I did it that way, though. I like her resolve now to continue her rampage, and she will probably feel so after (or at least, that's how I plan on it). But yeah, lots of gore, lots of blood. That will probably be the most vicious chapter. Probably.
Date: July 23 2015 10:35 PM Title: Prelude
Good to see another update but I totally didn't expect remorse, keeps me guessing where this story will go.
Date: March 06 2015 9:48 AM Title: Prelude
Well they're fucked.
Author's Response:
one of them will be eventually.
Date: January 18 2015 8:25 AM Title: Prelude
Seems it was a mistake on my part , really thought you were going to do a flashback of how she got to that part.
Author's Response:
I could see how that might get someone confused- the prelude was meant to be a sort of 'in media res,' showing the Virgin (the large woman the scouts are stalking) tied up and about to be defiled/sacrificed/whatever. The smaller lady who got her throat slashed over the Virgin's mouth and eaten by her tribe was just kind of a pre-sacrifice, a similitude (think how the ancient jews sacrificed lambs in preparation for their coming messiah).
ayway, thanks a lot for reading. I think I'll give that Jack and jessica story another shot (if i dont reach through the screen and murder jack myself)
Date: January 17 2015 11:25 AM Title: Prelude
Her throat's been cut and it looks she'll be defiled. I go by bloodlust45 on City incase you don't know. Back to the girl well, it doesn't look goof for her does she? However please surprise me, I would love it if you did that.
Author's Response: Ha, no- the girl who got her throat cut was someone else. Maybe i didn't make it super clear? But the large woman who is about to be defiled is the namesake Virgin.
[Report This]Date: January 17 2015 3:36 AM Title: Prelude
Oh god they're gonna eat her.
How do they tell if one is a virgin? (assuming the tinies' definition is identical to ours) I mean, they can't just go by hymen (or lack of) because that can be removed by any number of things like masturbating, tampon usage, horseback riding, etc.
I'm probably looking too deep into this. The only other alternative I can think they would need her for is breeding, as a sort of goddess-mother which could explain their lack of taboo regarding incest... It's still too early to tell.
Author's Response: Yeah you're reading too deeply into this. How they find out she is a virgin is not by any obvious means- this is, after all, a fantasy story at it's heart. Magical beings, magical means, taking place in our world. As the story unfolds, I'll reveal a bit more about the characters, most of which you've already met. I really hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for the review!