Date: April 27 2016 8:25 AM Title: Chapter 19 - Surprise
I sense this story is going to be much longer than what I thought it would be. I guess this means he'll find Paradise? I am curious, I didn't expect this to go in this direction at all.
Author's Response:
Based on what I've storyboarded, I expect it will be 70-80k words. I think I'm close to 56k right now. There is a decent amount left to cover, and yeah, it's possible it'll be longer than I'm thinking, but my intention was always to take it in this direction.
I wanted Alex and Elise to face real challenges before the resolution. My belief is that real personal growth (or change, depending on your viewpoint) can only come from overcoming adversity and struggles. I tried to begin this process with their own relationship with each other, "broadening their horizons" by making them understand the other gender and what drives them. The idea was to pave the way for deeper change to come and allowing the resolution I had planned.
At least, that was the goal, but the execution may be lacking.
Don't worry though, its not going to be some grisly torture sequence, and there will be a happy ending.
[Report This]Date: April 24 2016 8:40 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Glad to see your update!! I wonder what these education camps are all about?
Author's Response:
Unfortunately, I can't promise that I'll get into them in depth. I've got a lot of ground to cover to get to the end that I have envisioned, and I'm really trying to narrow my focus to progress the plot a bit now that I have established the setting and characters (in large part). I think that's one of the writing weaknesses I'm trying to work on the most - thinking of some other interesting tidbit that fits within the world I've created and chasing it down a proverbial rabbit hole. But I'm rambling...
Thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: April 24 2016 5:15 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
It is so awesome to see this story return! Your writing is impeccable! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response:
Thank you! The story has some pretty big curveballs coming in the immediate future. Hope you'll enjoy it.
Date: April 23 2016 11:52 PM Title: Chapter 18 - Woman to Woman
The reversal is really bad, now men are being intimidated into silence , forced out of work and if their behaviour is not satisfactory to their spouses, they get sent to re-education camps.
I am glad you kept Elise as one of the good ones.This is a very good - no, great story on this site and its awesome to see you back. Most of the stories being updated since you last posted haven't been the best.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the kind words! That means a lot!
[Report This]Date: October 29 2015 2:38 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Romance
There is something here, but the Alex/Elise switches are too frequent for the first-person to work for me. It's hard to remember which character is currently "I". IMO it would be much better in third-persion omniscient, so POV switches would not be so jarring.
Author's Response:
Ouch. 2/5 stars for POV switches? Seems like a pretty minor criticism, but apparently it made the story thoroughly unenjoyable for you. Thanks for your feedback, I guess.
Date: October 14 2015 10:20 PM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Alex is in trouble, hope Elise is nearby or he can run fast because the sexual harrassment is ramping up!
Date: October 09 2015 9:58 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Seems the role reversal continues as more and more women take over the roles of menx men being forced into more domestic roles.
Date: October 05 2015 7:39 PM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Definitely, there's been plenty of updates all across the site!
Author's Response:
I want to, but this site is completely borked. Other than selecting specific authors or stories there's not a great way to pick what you want to read ATM unless its in the most recent stuff.
I really just despise the site layout. If I had a wish list of things I would do to this site to fix it, it would look something like:
1. Fix tags to actually work for searches (this is critical)
2. Have "Most Recent" stories be filterable AT LEAST by major categories (growth/shrink, etc). This is a big one for me since 80-90% of the stories don't interest me (anything shrink, generally). No offense intended to authors of that work. It's great work, no doubt, but it's just not my bag.
3. Make it easier to give authors feedback. Allow anonymous or guest feedback. It's no secret - authors like feedback. Obviously we're not doing all the work for a few words from someone we'll never meet, but it's nice to know people give a crap about the work you're doing and are reading it. Needing to sign in and post feedback from an account is going to eliminate a good amount of your feedback right off the bat, especially when you're dealing with fetish writing that people probably don't want to register to review anyway.
4. Improve feedback correspondence in general. It's completely stupid that each review can't be more than a single response, and that any additional back-and-forth needs to come via additional reviews. Dumb.
That's just to start with, but it would really improve the experience, IMO. I'll get off my soapbox now :p
Date: October 05 2015 8:44 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Wow, that was naughty but overall it was very enjoyable watching the three of them get up to no good!
Date: October 04 2015 8:53 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Loved the new update and after so long too!
Author's Response:
Thanks, I've got some reading to catch up on here on the sight too!
Date: October 03 2015 6:28 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Penance
I await your return, I'll just go into hibernation, and I'm sure another chapter will be out by May or June. In all seriousness, a long time coming this chapter, and it was almost worth the wait, if it wasn't for this gnawing that happens at the end of every chapter.
Author's Response:
Haha! I deserved that. I will definitely be releasing a few more chapters soon. I'm hoping for the conclusion to this two-parter within the next couple days - its about half written now. Seriously though, it's definitely motivating to know that someone cares about the story. Thanks.
Date: July 01 2015 2:06 PM Title: Chapter 14 - Dinner Date
I really enjoy your world building chapters, even more then the sexual ones. I say a mixture of Alex, followed by Elise, and maybe a little from the third girl for a change in pov.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback, it's nice to know how the various POVs are received. I've toyed with adding a third "misc" POV from time to time. Maybe I could work that in.
Date: June 27 2015 8:24 AM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Sexy time coming!
Date: June 24 2015 12:09 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Preparation
Sounds like men are receiving some discrimination as the world adjusts to having these bigger and stronger infected women around.
I like that Alex was so upfront about his problems with Elise and she did not fight him on it, good chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks!
Date: June 23 2015 1:01 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Studying with Tara
I really such a world existed. I would be living in heaven everyday till the day I would die. *sighs* I wonder what happens next for the group of chracters in the story.
[Report This]Date: June 17 2015 10:46 PM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Interesting changes in their society, it would be logical now that women have the size advantage, they would try to put men in the home. Kind of scares me a bit, hopefully men have a chance in this changing world. However still love this story and can't wait to read more!!
Date: June 17 2015 10:37 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Studying with Tara
The darker side of this universe is coming out, women's groups who want to assume control of the world, put women in charge and reverse gender roles. I am disturbed but not really surprised though that women want to assume control now that they have a physical advantage.
Tara is right, he needs to talk it out with Elise and get her to see that side of him, that she is suffocating him. I don't know how far she would go to keep him but it might go bad if Alex tried to break up with her. She is so controlling she might kidnap him , I can see it.
Lines like " My thoughts returned to The Matriarchy briefly. Though some of what they were doing was lauded as positive change for women, I had heard of horror stories too. It seemed that some of what occurred with males at their settlements was not strictly voluntary. Slaves, abused day in and day to satisfy the unending sexual requirements of the society’s titular members. I shuddered. That would never happen to Alex. I would not allow it. " suggest she is actually doing what she sought to avoid.
Great chapter though!
Date: June 14 2015 9:04 PM Title: Chapter 10 - The Party, Continued
She's starting to have thoughts of controlling him, not a good sign. It keeps coming back. Vicki deserved it, not sure what Jason would think of it but I doubt he can do anything about it.
Date: June 12 2015 9:08 PM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Are infected women inclined to feel hostile towards each other like competing females of animals? Vicky seems problematic enough with the argument and the bigger issue is extinction as human fertility rates plunge.
I think Elise and Vicky will have a very interesting fight, Alex and Jason better be on their guard.
Author's Response:
Based on what we've seen of Ash's relationship with Elise, I don't think that's necessarily the case. Certainly, we've seen that Elise is very protective of her mate, but Ash didn't *appear* to view Elise as a threat. In fact, she seemed to genuinely want to help her and Alex be together (despite her own sexual demands). Though Elise has a soft spot in my heart, Ash is probably my favorite character. Hopefully I can do reasonable justice to her emotional/motivational complexity before the end. We will see. I have the broad strokes of the ending written, but there are still a lot of blanks to fill in. I do tend to use an outline when writing, but frankly, I find myself trashing most of it in favor of the scenes that I see developing in my head as I go along.
Recognizing that Vicki hasn't gotten much "screen" time yet, I would venture to say that she may have a somewhat different personality than either of the other infected introduced so far.
Date: June 12 2015 8:52 PM Title: Chapter 1a - Alex and Elise
Great Work on the story so far, haven't followed one like this in a long time. I can't what for the next update.
Author's Response:
Thank you!