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Reviewer: Binary_Prophet Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 26 2016 11:58 PM Title: Sandwitches

I enjoyed these two chapters. the first paints such a clear and vivid image, and creates a stark, isolated atmosphere I really appreciated. the second, with only dialogue, is a great little emotional back and forth. a very effective portrait of jade and our narrator. for me this was something different, and I enjoyed the extreme difference in texture here between the two chapters. a pleasurable read.

Reviewer: v00d002001 Signed star [Report This]
Date: March 26 2016 4:27 PM Title: Sandwitches

I know you're probably trying to give some background/context to the story, but I think there was a bit too much talking, not enough action in this chapter, and it was really difficult to follow who was saying what to who. I skipped over most of what was said and went straight to the end.

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