Date: May 26 2017 2:09 AM Title: Into the Hole
This is really good. I very much enjoyed the premise. I've seen the idea hinted at a few times but you pulled it off quite well.
The best aspect of it was the excellent confusion element (Don't know what to call it) where the main character tries to figure out what's going on. The phone doesn't work, tv doesn't work. Finally, the radio works. So the build up was well done.
The proceeding events were good. For a short story they were quite fine. However (And this could be due to your skill in writing) I wanted more and felt like you didn't put enough detail or events in the "panic" stage of the story (Where everything goes to shit [No pun intended]) But, like I said, for a short story this is well done.
The final element was the least good. The change in perspective from the victims to the unaware perpetrator. It felt slightly tagged on since there was so little of it. This is common in short stories so it is quite acceptable. I just wanted more since the build-up was so good.
Overall, good story. The pacing was good, the events were good and the writing style was excellent. Only major criticism is expansion on some areas but that's mostly due to wanting to see more of your skilled writing.
Author's Response: Thank you for your input. I appreciate you taking the time for this constructive criticism.