Date: September 25 2017 4:01 PM Title: Unaware Playtime
I absolutely loved it. I hope you write more. The vividness and description is amazing. It’s hard to find couples, insertion, and sex in stories these days.
My goodness, I thought this story had been left abandoned forever. If you see this, know that I thank you wholeheartedly for the kind words, know that I have written more, and know that I hope that you see it as an improvement on the amaterurish content of this story, as I do.
Date: September 24 2017 2:59 PM Title: Unaware Playtime
This was a well-written story, though not my cup of tea. I have issue though. In the description you have the size as 3 to 6 inches. Yet he is only an 1/8 of an inch. That set me off as 3 to 6 inches is one of my favorites. 1/8 is not. Akso, you may have been in a hurry to finish, but in the last chapter you call the woman Karen instead of Kristen.
Like I ssid, your writing is impeccable, but those two things killed the story for me. I would love to see more however.
Thanks for pointing that out! I fixed both the problems.
I've got a lot of sloppily-handwritten stuff from long hours spent bored and alone on the ocean. I never bothered to end most of it, but I'll put it up here anyway in time.
Date: September 24 2017 1:18 PM Title: Unaware Playtime
When I started this story, I wasn't sure I care for it. I'm not a big fan of playthings and it was a rather sudden start. But within sentences the excitement ramped up, and it never let go.
This was a ride. I've rarely if ever read such a detailed yet well paced insertion story, and despite the idea of repetition that you presented, it never got boring.
My only complaint, and this is a personal preference more than a blight on your writing ability, is that I'd prefer it to have stayed unaware. That's obviously not where you took it and I still think you did an incredible job, so don't take that as any sort of actionable criticism. You did extremely well.