Date: October 26 2017 4:03 PM Title: Chapter 3...The Fae
I've read all the chapters so far, and the volume of each chapter is pretty nuts and the content is great. The character development is pretty solid too and the scenarios and length of each one is ok as well, minus the fairy one anyway, the koonago one definitely felt good being so long and detailed.
I felt the Fae chapter was a bit... underwhelming? Magical size altering and changing fairies and such would have made for some fun and interesting situations I think, and was mostly a missed opporunity. I was kinda looking from about mid chapter to seeing claire wind up with some magic power by the end of it, but sadly she did not :(
Honestly this story is pretty strong to me so far. Long and detailed chapters and settings are amazing on these kinds of websites so I always look forward too them when I find the really good ones like these lol.
good luck on the next one!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review. That chapter is less "meaty" for a reason. When i thought about the Fae being a mythical species, It needed it to be one of two things. A very hidden species like koonago or a nearly extinct one and using the latter as a tie in to explain the borrowers origin seemed perfect. I really did ant to show a fairy society but I needed a good reason for Titania to be mentally deranged. Being a queen of an empty realm and watching those she held dear (forest included) leave or die fit the bill.
As for Claire. right now she has no magical abiliies left but not to give too much away...that could change.
As for length, the next chapter is going to be bigger. Stay tuned :)
Date: October 19 2017 7:47 PM Title: Chapter 3...The Fae
Wow, quite a chapter! Claire has fae blood? And Queen Titania herself showed up! I was sorry to see her fate here. Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my favorite stories. Titania always did have a capricious streak though so I can see how her dwindling power would drive her to extremes.
Love that you used Shakespeare and Celtic myth in this one, some of my favorite things. Minor criticism - you mentioned something recorded in the Tuatha De Danann but that was the name of the Irish gods and heroes, not a book.
Regardless, very cool chapter. I continue to be impressed by this story.
Author's Response:
You're absolutely right about that being the name of Irish God's and heroes. When I did research for his part I found books that covered Tuatha De Denann as both a group and chronicle (like Age of the gods).
One particular book I found was online titled as you might guess "Tuatha De Denann: The Folklore of Ireland". So when I say chronicled in the story I meant an author had wrtten a compendium that included fairies. I can see how that can be misleading in the story.
Thanks for the review and feedback! It helps me get even better as a writer! 😀