Date: January 20 2020 7:38 PM Title: The tight and moist cave of love
Even though I just commented, and you state you want to make this a short story, if you do continue it a few comments for you.
The size of 1/8" is pretty darn small, especially for Rachel to feel and fully take advantage of. Perhaps 1/4", 1/2", or even 3/4" might be better for Rachel to feel her tiny body explorers, except for William.
If William wants to continue exploring Rachel's feet, then 1/8", the size of an ant, would be perfect.
Maybe Rachel can make any new suits so that the wearer sticks to her body. William, at 1/8" the size of an ant, sticks to Rachel's feet and inbetween her toes. Angela, perhaps at 1/4"-3/4" is able to stick to Rachel's breasts. Anthony, at any size is stuck to Rachel's bowels.
Daniel however, regardless of size, should not stick to Rachel so he may move around inside her mouth or pass through her stomach and bowels {eventually even out her asshole if that's where you care to take this} or be placed anyplace else Rachel wants him.
Is there any reason they all have to be the same size? Is there any reason they have to be so small, except for ant man William beneath her feet and toes?
What ever you do with this story, follow what you want to do. I'm just making comments more for my own self interest, and you have to write your stories for yourself first and foremost.
In my humble opinion, this is a story worth continuing.
Author's Response:
Thanks for this review too!
Well, the point of this story was mainly micro and the interaction that Rachel has with the group at that size
I wasn't planning on let them be bigger than that because that was the whole point of Rachel wanting them to be that small
Also, I don't think I will continue the things as I put in this scenario
If I make a sequel of this, maybe its gonna be with Angela, Rachel and Daniel as the main characters and the rest of the group is gonna be out
Thank you for reading the story so far!
Date: January 20 2020 7:05 PM Title: The tight and moist cave of love
This is quite the interesting and fun story. I like it a lot.
You mention English is not your first language, and to point out any grammatical errors. Firstly, you have way too many grammatical errors to ever try to note them all. Secondly, you wrote your story in such a straight forward manner that is easy to read, the errors do not get in the way at all and it's simple to understand your meaning and follow along. So don't concern yourself with any grammatical errors.
Hopefully Anthony will want to stay, or at least return to Rachel's ass. Perhaps in the future she can make him a suit that will keep him stuck up her butt and not get pooped out.
If Rachel ever swallows Daniel, assuming she makes him a suit to protect him from being digested, then perhaps he can pass through her bowels and then hang out with Anthony for a while inside her butt.
Please keep the story going.
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review!
I know I'm not that good with English but thank you for that comment about the grammatical errors, even so, I'll try my best to improve that
And with all that suggestions you made here, those are really interesting, sure, but I don't think I will apply those themes (Kind of because I don't think I can write something related to butt stuff, mainly scat tbh)
But thank you for your honest opinion :D
Date: January 18 2020 12:43 AM Title: The tight and moist cave of love
Great story! Hope there is a sequel planned!
Author's Response:
Thank you for following this short story ^^
But I wasn't planning to making at sequel just now, I have a few ideas but for now I thought to doing other short stories for a while