[Report This]Date: July 14 2020 7:56 PM Title: 10: Jessella
Glad to see another great chapter! Enjoyed seeing the dynamic change as everyone starts growing around Brent. Can't wait to see what happens there. Loved the sex scene between the two, but would love to see how it works out with regular sex. Hopefully more interaction with the giant girls around him. Can't wait to read more.
Date: July 14 2020 1:40 AM Title: 10: Jessella
Awesome chapter! I gotta say I'm loving how the length of the chapters is increasing exponentially haha. Looks like Brent needs to watch out for Daniella... especially if Haley is not there to protect him. Same could be said about jessica now that both girls enjoyed their power over Mitchell. I'm happy that despite al that going on to Brent, Haley is still loyal. Still surprised Julia is starting to be portrayed as the villain wanting to steal Brent...
regarding some minor critiques, I noticed one major problem you've been having recently is POV. There was one point where it's told from brents pov so you used "I" and "me" but you also refer to him in the third person "he" and "him" in the same sentence. Watch out for that!
Another suggestion would be to label the POVs since I noticed you are now introducing the point of views from Brent and now Haley etc. helps in organization!
other than that, the story is just awesome, especially for a first story! As mentioned, I'm in your shoes as well haha just finished posting my first story a few weeks ago. Glad to see another newbie! :) can't wait for next chapter!