Date: April 09 2022 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 29
Any chance for an update soon?
Author's Response:
Yeah, thanks for your patience. I think something is going around, because I and many members of family were sick for a while. I've been feeling better and have spent the majority of today writing. I have a few more scenes to write, and then I have to edit, so I'm tentatively aiming to publish tomorrow.
Also, this chapter will be super long because I'm trying to keep the two chapters per FF rule I set for myself, while also giving Molly's story the attention it deserves.
[Report This]Date: March 22 2022 6:49 AM Title: Chapter 29
Okay wow. The Abbots are model parents all of a sudden. I mean not really, I already had noticed how good they were to Harper, and loving of her and supportive, but yikes, they really are the only ones of the bunch that don't treat their daughter like shit?Leah's dad has a weird thing going on with her, and Naomi's parents are seemingly strict and poor Molly has...oh god, I feel so bad for her. They are shit to her, they are shit to Anabelle, like I can't believe they made even the Abbot's treatment of Annabelle to look sort of nice. I see Molly's mom stroke a chord in people and I do see why. She sucks in the most close to home way to people who had never dealt with shrunk people but probably with overbearing, strict parents.
I'm worried for Molly and Anabelle and their mental state if they are both pushed so damn hard. This chapter was more about the parents than Molly and I'm seeing a trend. I do like that. Actually if I may be so bold, I would LOVE a prequel story with the parents as youngsters in college themselves and some new shrinkie or them creating their murderous evil group. I don't know why but the more stories about the parents's pasts I heard the more I want a story focused on them when they were all young. It would be tons of fun. But then again is my imagination going crazy xDDD
I'm worried that Molly being too submissive to stand up for herself or for Anabelle will hurt her chances of imprinting. Is a pity, I do love her but she needs to man up. Woman up. Idk.
Looking forward to the next one!!
Author's Response:
Haha! Right? In comparison the Abbots are suddenly parents of the year.
Yeah I agree with you, Naoru about the negative reaction Mrs. Gates received. I think her cruelty is a lot more realistic and recognizable than attempting genocide on shrunken people.
I've written SO much background on the parents in their college years and the founding of the BSA. If people are interested, I'd maybe write a couple of chapters about them in a spin off story or something.
As for Molly' womaning up...you'll just have to see if she steps up. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
a279;Thanks again for the comment Naoru!
Date: March 20 2022 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 29
I like that you're humanizing the girls it makes so kcuh more compelling and fleshes out their characters. I also hate that you're humanizing the girls stop humanzing these murderous pieces of shit that deserve to burn in hell.
Author's Response:
Ha! Yeah the ole catch-22. I wonder how you'll feel about how this story ends then. 😁
Date: March 20 2022 6:54 AM Title: Chapter 29
I'm afraid Molly was my least favorite of the four. With Harper, you have the crazy-obsessive fangirl, Naomi, the blunt punk, and Leah, the domineering ruler-to-be. Molly was simply there.
Now, she's gotten far more interesting, although the previous two chapters also did Harper favors as well. We see that the harsh dominance these girls force upon not just shrinkees, but other people as well, is the same kind a bully establishes over a social pariah. Attempting to create control over their life which none exists. If Annabelle can successfully alienate the four from their parents, she wins. But, in order to do so, she'll have to open her heart to them, and leave Poppy to the crows.
And boy, what a fun bunch these parents are. Mr. Gates seems to be pretty fun, even when he's asserting control. I'd go as far to call him a henpecked husband. And what a hen, and what a peck she has. I still think the mayor is going to be Anna's biggest threat, but Mrs. Gates is going to run her through the roughshod.
Author's Response:
Hi Divefiveburners,
I always had big plans for Molly. I'm hoping these two chapters reveals more about who she is and why she has come to be that way. You're also right when talking about the way in which they dominate people. It's explored a bit in chapter 30, but as the story progresses, you'll some more discussion around it.
Based on your comments, I'm curious to see what you thought of the most recent chapter.
Thanks for your thoughts!
[Report This]Date: March 20 2022 6:31 AM Title: Chapter 29
Anna keeping her distance as best she can from the gods is a good plan, the less she knows about them the less she can get roped into feeling sympathy for them. As well as the less they know about her the less they can use for their nefarious deeds.
Anna's outfit is very lovely, quite elegant and nice to see her treated at least somewhat like a human for once. Granted reading about how strict Molly's parents were it makes sense but still nice to see even if it was for their benefit.
Molly does feel like another one that if it were not for her parents might not have become the monster we've seen so far. I can only imagine growing up with such strict parents couldn't be good for somebody with her self doubt issues etc.
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Holy shit, I knew her parents were kind of dicks but you've painted them in quite the light here. I'm getting Dream Child vibes from the Greta death scene just by reading onward down the story...or at least Mallory Archer vibes.
I really think if Molly and Harper were free of their parents we might actually have two quality people about. I know they are both of age and can make their own choices but seeing how much shit Molly takes from hers and the influence of Harper's on her libido and other things you actually kind of feel for them.
I actually feel bad for her, she's killed countless thousands and enslaved/tortured many more but you've made me care about Molly as a human being. I still root for Anna to get her vengeance in some way but if Molly eventually tells her parents to fuck off somewhere along the way that's cool too.
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They really don't deserve Anna.
If this was a gentle story, I'd be 100% rooting for Molly to have her imprinted upon her and grow to be a strong, confident human with Anna's encouragement. Sadly it's not and she definitely has punishment coming but you really feel for her.
Anna is a fucking saint, truly doesn't deserve what is being given to her. Neither does Molly really but she did sort of kill tons of people both in story and likely away from it so she loses some of her luster in the humanity department.
Well isn't that ominous or what?
Poor Anna once again getting rewarded for her kindness by fates shitty hand. Hopefully she won't end up stuffed anywhere too horrible like she was with the last set of parents she had to deal with.
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Such arrogance, usually ticks my boxes when pertaining to these stories but damn she is quite the bitch. You usually feel for Anna but for some reason you get the extra feels when dealing with Molly's mother, if she can break down a titaness like Molly imagine what she can do to our poor Anna.
What a way to introduce Anita, well not so good for Anna but still she's fitting in quite well with the smug bitchiness of her employer. I am kind of looking forward to seeing more of her as British girls do kind of work for me in all respects.
At-least Anita seems to be having fun which is nice to see somebody happy in this chapter for once. Anna probably would be too for helping Molly feel better about herself if she wasn't being pounded into the ground beneath tons of lovely British girl foot.
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Well at least she's getting something to eat with something made for her at least, small miracles and what not. Hopefully she'll get to strike a blow against them at some point down the road.
Poor Molly really feels like she deserves so much better than what she gets, still a monster but dammit her parents likely had a huge hand in her shittiness so you wonder what would happen if she had a better upbringing.
Such potential perverts these parents are turning into it seems. It really drives home how horrible they all are when they're taking clear advantage of a poor college girl who can't defend herself from their advances.
They seem to be very ok with their daughters potential pet being horribly defiled by their colleagues. I would figure how strict and stuck up they were that they'd be a bit perturbed by learning how tainted she was before coming into their home.
I feel the sleep deprivation might make Poppy's influence even stronger then it has possibly been before. She is very strong willed but this seems like it will be her toughest task to date and I don't really blame her for wanting Molly to comfort her.
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I like Molly.
She reminds me of some other stories I've read where you really feel for the antagonist even though they're doing something really horrible to the protagonist. She's a victim of her circumstances seemingly more than any of the others.
If anything Poppy might take a liking to her as a chance to manipulate Anna into imprinting faster if it would encourage her self esteem etc.
Author's Response:
Hey Adam,
I also thought Annabelle's plan was a good one in theory. In practice...eh. I'm also glad you liked it. Part of the reason I chose the Gates right after the Abbots was because I thought the contrast between their sexualities would be highlighted. Annabelle literally went from bikinis and mini skirts, to little house on the prairie streetwear.
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Ha! I think Mrs. Gates is nicer than Mallory Archer. And yeah, many of these characters have a lot of paths they could have/can still go down. I think that's what makes them interesting.
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It's really difficult to write a character like Annabelle (a good person in the face of adversity) because finding the balance of her being disgusted by her captors, while also feeling sympathy for them can be frustrating. I definitely rewrite her dialogue the most, because I don't want her to come off as being unaffected by her situation.
It's a lot of work, and I will make sure that my next story only has bad people in it. 😈 (Just kidding?)
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I laughed so hard at the "no one is happy in this chapter." I mean it's true. Again, I wanted to contrast the joy and overall horniness of Abbots, to the dry professionalism of the Gates.
Anita is also based off of another character I've been workshopping for an upcoming story I'm beginning to outline, so I'm glad you like her.
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I definitely think the Gates (at least Mrs. Gates) weren't thrilled at the Abbot's usage of Annabelle in that way (I think Mrs. Gates said something about not wanting them to do that with something all their daughters touch, or something like that). I have character background summaries for most of the characters, and for Mrs. Gates there's a lot of disapproval aimed at the Abbots--particularly how they behaved during their college years (they were wild lol).
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I also like Molly. And that's an interesting notion you put at the end about Poppy and self-esteem...I won't say anything more.
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As always, thanks for the comment Adam. You always give me something to think about.
[Report This]Date: March 20 2022 3:02 AM Title: Chapter 29
Plz do not take my last a review to heart, that woman (refuse to call her a mother) really pissed me off, your writing is superb as ever, and u made a very real character there, I just absolutely hate her and I think she may be the single most hated character in this story except for maybe leahs father depending on how he is presented.
I love the story and I will continue to read and love it. I just realized my last review may be a little to harsh.
Author's Response:
Glad I saw this before I logged off,
Ralgar, don't ever apologize for leaving an honest review! When I say I want your guys' comments, I mean it! I want to know how the chapter made you feel. I made Mrs. Gates in such a way, because the story called for it and I also wanted reactions (looks like I got it lol)
But your comment made me laugh so much. Your hatred is not unjustified. If you hate a character then please tell me that you hate the character! It's a great feeling.
Also, I just reread my reply to Mr. In a Suit. I think it's hilarious that I said it wasn't an invitation to guess what I was talking about, but I should've known better because half of you guys are detectives.
But it looks like I was wrong--it's actually chapter 3 when it begins, but it's very subtle. Also here's a hint: the element I'm referring to is a common trope that is broken into two parts. I have established the first part (no one has commented on it) but the second part is the scene I'm debating including.
That's all the clues you get!
But don't feel the need to figure it out! I'll start laying the foundation for the second part of the trope in about two-four chapters, and if anyone picks up on it then I'll include it. If not, I'll just add the scene in a "What If" spin off.
Date: March 20 2022 2:35 AM Title: Chapter 29
First off the mother is an absolute bitch anD she needs to die right now, like right this second, if u wrote in the next chapter and mrs gates died of a fucking choking on that rod that is so far up her ass its back out her mouth I would consider it ok. ( sorry she hit some very strong nerves with me, I absolutely hate people like her,) When molly is older she will absolutely hate her mother to the point of disownment, personally she should put out a hit on her mother.
Well u caught me by surprise on molly, I was right that her guard would be up when getting there but Molly’s Bitch egg donor caught me by surprise, I expected her to be strict but damn that was uncalled for, damn dude, this now my least favorite chapter, because u wrote the mom so well that I could believe it, it’s just I have no desire to read that bitch for even a second longer.
Also I do believe molly just lost a lot in the running, I do think poppy just took a big hit on her feelings for molly, cause one of the criteria I think is needed is that all ability to stand against all comers. Now I want poppy to imprint n just about anybody else just to spite that damn bitch. Of course she wouldn’t even consider the possibility that she lost molly the opportunity to win, she would just blame molly, and prob hold it over her for the rest of her life.
So now yes i do think Annebell will still care about molly, she just got all of her bully buttons pushed so hard, but I do think poppy prob lost some hmm reverence for molly.
So plz plz keep the mother to a minimum in the next chapter ( not serious, u write what’s u think is best, it’s jsut ugh she pushed some serious buttons of my own, if I had been in that room when she practicallly callled molly ugly, I would have choked the bitch to death and damn the consequences.)
Now past the mother I read what u said to mr ina suit about a thread uve been laying since chapter 2, now I have to reread the whole story;(poor is me, such a burden this is 😭😭😝😜
Author's Response:
Like I said, this comment made chortle quite a bit, Ralgar.
You made a lot of great observations. I think you're right to think that Mrs. Gates would just blame Molly if Annabelle doesn't end up imprinting on her. Writing Mrs. Gates has been interesting--not only because of the reaction of some of you guys--but because she gives Annabelle some perspective into Molly's background. As you'll see in the most recent chapter, Annabelle realizes she and Molly have more in common than she thinks.
Thnx for the comment again!
If this is your reaction to Mrs. Gates, I'm intrigued to see how you'll react when Annabelle's backstory chapter is dropped.