Reviewer: brett533 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 28 2020 6:27 PM Title: Chapter 4, Week 2: Gym Class

cant compliment this enough. keep up the hard work

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I think you'll really enjoy the next chapter :) Should really kick the story out of the introductory phase and into the big stuff

Reviewer: TomSpeedy Signed [Report This]
Date: December 27 2020 11:12 AM Title: Chapter 4, Week 2: Gym Class

Initial thoughts: After that previous chapter, I knew this one wouldn't be as sexual, but this was fun to read regardless. Gym class was always interesting. I don't even think my class ever had a boys vs girls match. Usually the teams were mixed or there would be 2 seperate matches, 1 for girls and one for guys. 

Alright, back to this chapter. I like how detailed you went with the Ryan scenes. From Noah dreaming about being in Ryan's position to Ryan describing his experience to his friends. I would also be jealous of Ryan as Noah has mentioned. 

Noah makes a good point about there's something special about a woman literally just in her bra and panties next to you. It's not like when you're at the beach or pool because there's all that chaos around you. In a classroom, where Ms. Johnson and Alexis is interacting with you and talking to you, it's almost like it's a private moment. (Even if there's a bunch of dudes next to you. Lol.)

You already know that when Ryan grows up to an adult, he's going to remember this with a new light. He's going to describe each body part, all the bodily fluids and what each part meant without any doubt. Funny to have him recall everything without knowing much about it. 

Then we have the gym class next and Noah is running laps around the field while getting distracted by the girls. Part of me is curious what the girls were doing while the guys were running. Seems like they were just talking while waiting for Ms. Johnson. Anyway, they have a soccer match with the tired freshman boys vs the rested senior girls. I already sense a mismatch. Lol. 

The ladies begin dominating the game and continued until the end of the game. I thought Noah was actually playing poorly so it was a surprise to hear his friends say he was amazing. However, I think it's funny to point out how Noah got distracted by the hot goalie so he missed his last shot. Hmm, I think I expected some banter to happen during the game. Maybe the girls tease the guys and then a girl does a fancy move which makes the defender fall over or something. Or maybe when the goalie was charging at Noah, she tackles him while trying to get the ball, and she falls on top of him which makes Noah all embarrassed being pinned underneath her.

Now we get to the most interesting part of this chapter. The tiny man. So Noah and his friends find a tiny man by the field and this guy is apparently injured. My first thought was, "this guy just escaped". I'm guessing he tried to make a jump or something and broke his leg in the process and now he's trying to make it to the forest or something. 

Speaking of the forest, you mentioned that a few times, and how it's close to the school so I couldn't help but wonder if there is like a secret factory where tiny men are produced or something. Since it's a forest, people wouldn't be looking in there much, and since it's close to the school, it's perfect for Ms. Johnson to create more tinies for class. Hmm, maybe she seduces guys, knocks them out, takes them to this facility and shrinks them before they wake up. After reading the first chapter, I wouldn't be surprised if Ms. Johnson has some evil plan like that in the works. Lol.

So anyway, while Noah stares at this tiny guy, Ashley just "casually" walks and steps on the tiny guy to death. Just like a grape. And she's not even worried. Also, She said "him". She knows about the tinies and she stepped on that guy on purpose. I hope Noah is about to see the bigger picture here.

Its interesting because there is only 1 sex Ed class, right? And this one class is filled with guys. So if Ashley knows about these tiny guys, it's from some other activity or event that involves tinies. Ms. Johnson has either taught Ashley about tinies before in a different year, or there is soemthing ongoing that Ashley is a part of that involves tiny men. She even asked "was he yours?" This indicates that she is aware of not just teachers having tinies, but also students. Otherwise, she wouldn't even consider asking Noah if the tiny was his. Now this begs the question. How many students have tinies? Does every girl get one? Are all the guys going to be shrunk during the final exam and given to a girl for the rest of their life? I mean, this opens up a lot of possibilities!

Man, I can't wait for the next chapter! (Also Merry Christmas!)

Author's Response:

I'm glad to hear that you still found this chapter interesting! I know that it's probably not the most "exciting" chapter but I knew that I wanted to venture outside of the classroom sooner than later so we didn't feel restricted to just Ms. Johnson's classroom. Plus it gives us a little bit of exposure to some of the characters in more "normal" circumstances and hopefully builds up their personalities a little. We were pretty similar with the mixed teams or boys v boys / girls v girls but I can remember so clearly the few times that we did play boys v girls. There was a sense of nervousness but also intensity (hence Alexis' focus) cause it was more like a real rivalry, felt like there was more on the line haha. It was also sort of Mr. Woodland's nudge to the boys of, "if you want to stare at them I'll get you closer, but you better be ready to walk the walk." I really enjoyed writing the Ryan scene since he could only use his sense of feel, smell, touch, and a little bit of sound to describe it. I really wanted to capture his feeling of, "ok, that was insane, what just happened while I was blind." So now he's remembering all of those feelings and trying to put them into words. I like this comment: "I thought Noah was actually playing poorly so it was a surprise to hear his friends say he was amazing." We'll probably see something like this pop up again. Banter would've been a good idea! That was probably a missed opportunity as a result of my inexperienced writing and busy Christmas break haha! Good suggestion! Your initial thinking with the tiny man is quite good but I would say that your assumptions are only about half right :) Not sure if we'll get a specific answer to where he came from but I think you'll be able to infer this once you get some more info in the future. The forest factory is an interesting theory! There are reasons for mentioning the forest but they're probably simplier than your investigative mind is thinking of haha. Maybe not though :) I'm glad you appreicate the interaction with Ashley! It was such a quick moment but it raises some big, interesting questions as you pointed out. I forgot to include it in my chapter notes at first so I'm not sure if you noticed my comment on how that scene was partially inspired by real events that happened to me back in elementary school where we were all staring down at a caterpillar crawling across the floor, and then Ashley came walking through the crowd and crushed it without even knowing haha. Thanks for your review, much appreciated!