“WHAT!?!?”

“Calm down, honey.”

“No, I won’t calm down!  How could you even think this would be an okay idea?”

“Well, let’s face it, honey.  We both have needs that we can’t exactly satisfy for each other.  Our size difference has pretty thoroughly killed our sex life, and you really hadn’t gotten into any of my attempts to fix it.  Don’t you think we both deserve somebody who can fill that hole in our relationship, that’s more… our size?”

“And how the hell do you propose to do that?  If you haven’t noticed, there aren’t really any men out there small enough to fit in a pocket!”

“Look, I get what you’re saying, but you’re a resourceful girl.  You’ve always had a head for problem-solving, so you can easily figure something out.”

 “Theodore, do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth?  Are you seriously trying to convince me that you should be allowed to sleep around in our relationship, and I should just ‘figure something out’?”

“What?  Of course not!  That’s why I asked you about it.  I would never sleep with another behind your back.  That’s the entire reason we’re talking about it.  You should know me better than that by now.  If I were the sort of person to just cheat on your marriage, I frankly have more than enough opportunity to do so without getting your opinion about it.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better.  You want to sleep with somebody else, and I’m supposed to be grateful that you decided to tell me I wasn’t good enough for you!”

“Of course you’re good enough for me.  It’s just this one thing I need to be perfectly happy in our relationship.  And again, it would go both ways.  I’m sure there are plenty of guys that would love to get their hands on a bombshell like you, even if they can’t really get their dick wet, for obvious reasons.”

Gabriella was so upset, it almost felt like all the blood in her body had turned to ice.  Her face was beet red, and she was stomping around the living room table with a heaviness that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman of her stature.

“If that’s how you feel about this situation, why don’t we get a divorce?  If I can have anybody else I wanted, and you clearly don’t think I can give you what you want, then why even keep this stupid fucking charade up?”

“You really haven’t read our pre-nup agreement recently, have you?”

“So that’s what this is about?  You just want my money?”

“No, it's the other way around.  You want my money.  Remember when you were trying to open up a branch for SHC in Hong Kong.  Well, part of the stipulation on the pre-nup was that any future endeavors embarked by one party and not the other would still be protected by the pre-nup.  And that goes both ways.  So now all the money I’ve made off my poker career is now completely off the table in a divorce proceeding.”

“Trust me, Teddy, I can live with that!”

“Can you?  Remember when we did the math on how long we could live off your savings?  Well, that was assuming I would be the one watching over you for the rest of your life.  Without me, you would have to hire a caretaker, and that would be expensive.  Maybe your injury compensation lawsuit works out for you, but with all the expenses from having to hire a divorce lawyer, paying your caretaker, and buying a new home, would you even still have the money to continue litigating that?”

Gabby was trying to hold back her tears.  She didn’t want to look weak even as Teddy shoved her weakness in her face.

“And that’s assuming that you end up with a caretaker that actually takes care of you.  At such a small size, somebody could easily take advantage of you.  After all, you would be weak, defenseless, and in possession of a lot of money.  Who knows what could happen if they decided there was an easier way to get your money!”

Gabby couldn’t take it any more and started bawling her eyes out.  She lay down and curled into a ball as the tears rolled down her face and onto the coffee table.  Teddy grabbed a tissue and gently dabbed the skin beneath his wife’s eyes.

“There, there.  No need to cry.  I’m not going anywhere.  As long as you’re with me, everything is going to be fine.  Just calm down, Gabby.  I’m here.”

The words of reassurance rang hollow for the distraught woman laying in the stream of misery pooling against the base of her face from her eyes.  Was there really nothing she could do?  It felt like all hope was lost.

“I understand your pain.  I really do.  If there was anything more I could do for you after a divorce, I would.  But with the pre-nup my hands are pretty tied.  Do you understand?  Opening up our relationship is the only way we can both be happy.  I’m doing this for you!”

“Fine.”

“What was that?”

“I said ‘fine’!  Go ahead!  Sleep with whatever bimbo you want!  See if I care!”

“Come on, snugglepuff!  I know this will take some getting used to, but you've gotten used to far weirder things before.”

Theodore left Gabby to give her some alone time.  He figured if she had some time to herself, she would realize that he was right.  She would realize that he was the best thing to ever happen to her and be grateful he didn’t leave her high and dry.  While he waited, though.  A hottie had given him her number at the bar the other day.  He might as well give her a call.

Gabby couldn’t imagine having a worse day, but as it turns out, things actually could get worse.  As soon as Teddy left, Gabby heard a potted plant fall over by the entrance to the dining room.  The toppling sound was followed by a skirt making itself seen from beyond the doorway.  Wilma started tipping the plant upright when she noticed she had been spotted.

“Uh, I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything.  I was just …”

Whatever excuse Wilma had planned to explain her presence had clearly left her head.  She sat the potted plant back in place and bolted away.

It seems Gabby had an audience for the most miserable five minutes she could remember.