Safety Call

As I sat on the couch to watch television, the phone rang. “Hello, is this Mister Jacobson?”

“Yes.”

“Sir, this is Pauline at MacCauley’s minis. I’m sorry to tell you, your wife, Natalie Jacobson, shrank. When we collected her, she had our safety card on her. If you or a relative fail to collect her within the next hour, they’ll sell her in the store. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.” Pauline hung up. I raced over to MacCauley’s and stepped through the door. A young blonde woman in a smock greeted me. “Hello. Can I help you with something?”

“Yes. I’m here to collect Natalie Jacobson.”

She grinned. “I thought you sounded too young to be her husband. Follow me.”

She led me to a room behind the counter. A glass box sat on a table. “Which paperwork should I grab, the resizing forms, or the mini registration form?”

I smiled at my naked mother asleep on the velvet cushion. “The registration form, thanks.”

She pulled out a seat for me, grabbed a form, and sat beside me at the table. “Your name?”

“Mark Jacobson.”

“Age?”

“Nineteen.”

“Former relation to the mini?”

“Son.”

“Do you have photo I.D.?”

I pulled out my learner’s permit and handed it to her. “Okay, great. I can fill in most of your data from this. Now, on to her part. Natalie Jacobson. Age?”

“Forty-five.”

“Really? I would have guessed her ten years younger.”

“Yeah. She gets that a lot.”

“Good going, Natalie. Allergies?”

“None.”

“All right, that’s it. I’ll scan your I.D., we’ll microchip her, and you can get out of here. Do you want to walk around the shop before you leave? She’ll sleep for a while yet.”

I nodded, walked into the shop, and grabbed a basket. First, I perused the mini-tanks along the back wall. Their prices ranged from expensive to outrageous. I wondered which tank they would place my mother in if I hadn’t turned up. Past the last tank sat the dollar-rejects. Each lay bound inside a plastic cylinder and wore a hood. These were the least submissive of the lot. Untrained, unloved, unwanted, but I didn’t care and grabbed two who looked in shape. Next, I looked through their vast collection of collars and leashes. Some got expensive, but I picked out a simple black pair and placed them in the basket. Pauline walked over and handed me my I.D. I slipped it into my wallet as she looked in my basket. “So, is this your first registered mini?” I nodded. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. Most people resize once we save them. Before your mom, I haven’t registered a mini in months. We offer a kit if you’re interested. It comes with a mini-tank, a safety harness, and a manual to train them.”

“Sounds great.”

“Hey, that hour’s almost up, and we caught a few other minis near Natalie if you’d like to have a look. Tell you what, let’s make a game out of it. I have their safety cards here. If you can tell me their name, I’ll give them to you as a freebie. Want to play?”

“Sure.”

Once I set my basket on the counter, she grabbed my hand, led me out the back again, and opened the cupboard. Inside sat three glass boxes. As I peered in at them, I smiled. “Stacy Finn, Kinsey Olstead, and Wanda Brandt.”

“Wow, three for three. Deal’s a deal, but since this is an under-the-counter deal, I can’t register them to you today. If you bring them in tomorrow with whichever of the dollar-rejects who last, I can do them then.” I turned around as Pauline injected the microchip into my mom’s back. “All right, let me gift-wrap these and I’ll get you sorted at the counter.”

“Thanks, Pauline.”



When dad came home from work that afternoon, I called him into my room. “All right, Mark. What is it? What did you-”

He fell silent as he looked at his naked wife and her friends in the mini-tank. “MacCauley’s called. They found mom shrunk, so I registered her. At first, she didn’t like it, but she’s starting to come around.”

He waved at her and smiled. “So, I’m single? I wonder what your Aunt Lydia’s doing tonight.”