Pyon was trapped in a dark space. The only thing that kept her company was whatever thing she was stuck on top of, smooth and wet. “Ughh, this is the worst! Can’t even use my phone because the stupid thing is dead!” She said, turning it on to see the dark screen barely light with a red bar, indicating it was completely drained. However, that gave her a quick idea. She turned it back on, and, using the brief few seconds the dim light from the phone’s screen, swung the screen to face forwards, to reveal at least something about wherever she was. In that dimness, she saw… red? What was going on here? She didn’t have time to think before everything began to shake and rumble, tossing her off balance and sending her hurtling into something that felt frighteningly similar to plastic.
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Menchi was all ready to start her picnic. She knew everything was in her basket, having prepared it all yesterday and preserved it with her “Perfect Preservation” technique. She had everything she needed to make this a great picnic. Though she couldn’t help but notice how strange the wind felt. And how odd the ground felt. And how foggy it was. Ah, well, it didn’t matter- she was no stranger to eating in bizarre places. Sure, the ground beneath her was oddly squishy and felt somewhat like smooth skin, but that’s not what was important. What was important was the salad she was going to dig into today. As she walked the vast, soft hill, the salad in that basket was all she could think about…
……………………..
Pyon was stuck between a waxy… thing, and the plastic wall she was bashed against earlier. “I-DON’T-GET-WHAT’S-GOING-ON-!” She said, trying to get a word in between rumbles. Finally, the quaking stopped, and she pulled herself up and out of the part of… whatever she was stuck in, lying down, panting, before screaming out, “WHAT THE HELL?!”. She forced her eyes shut, in exhaustion and defiance, and rolled over on her side. “Man… this sucks. I just wanna go home so I can relax…” She whined. Suddenly, a bright light pierced through the darkness, and as her eyes adjusted, she began to recognize where she was; a small plastic container of salad, with cherry tomatoes.
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Menchi settled down, placing her basket down and taking a satisfied sigh. She looked at the basket, licked her lips, and opened the lid, staring at her salad, packed nice and neat into the plastic container. She picked up the dressing and her fork, took out the container, laid it on her lap, and opened up the container.
…………………..
Pyon stared up at the titanic green-haired culinarian lording above her. “Oh, no! Not her! I don’t wanna get eaten by that picky hotheaded tomboy!!” Her whines probably didn’t even register to the enormous woman, as she opened up the container, licking her lips, and began pouring a torrent of ranch down onto the field of green and red. Pyon shrieked, running as fast as she could on the uneven terrain, tripping on the vein of a piece of lettuce and smashing onto a tomato as a tsunami of dressing drenched her and the salad.
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When she finished putting the dressing onto the salad, she noticed that the wind that was blowing at her back began to flow lightly in the opposite direction, hitting her face with a satisfying coolness. “Alright, time to dig in!” She said, bringing her fork down and taking a couple leaves and tomatoes and shoving them into her mouth, moaning lowly with how good it tasted.
…………………..
Pyon managed to dislodge herself from underneath the thick goop of the dressing, moments before she saw the terrifying white pillar of plastic thrust into the salad before rising into the tomboy’s mouth. “HEY!! MENCHI!! I’M HERE!! LOOK! LOOOOOK!!!” Pyon shouted, as loud as she possibly could. Menchi just continued chewing, before she swallowed. “DON’T IGNORE ME YOU BIG GLUTTON!! JUST LOOK… Down…” Pyon trailed off as she saw the fork plummet down towards her. She tried to run, but the thick globs of ranch tied her down. The fork stabbed into the salad, and although she avoided the spikes, she was still stuck on a piece of salad, splayed out and covered in a disgusting glob. She saw Menchi’s awaiting maw approaching, saliva glistening off her tongue and teeth as she was being brought to her doom. “No, no, NO, NO, NO!!!” She said, attempting to stand up as Menchi tilted the fork, forcing Pyon to cling to the salad. “NONONONONO!!!!!” She cried, tears streaming down her face. This was it. This was the end…
…………………
Menchi was about to eat her next bite, before the wind picked up and blew fiercely. “What the…?” She said, turning to see where the wind was going. The fog had finally cleared, and she saw something strange, something she’d never seen in all her days as a hunter: A vast, black, oval hole, sucking in like some sort of vacuum. The wind was so powerful that she lost grip of her fork as it smacked against her chest, staining it with ranch. “OH, COME ON!” She bellowed. Her salad and container then both flew up and smashed her in the face. “What th-” She couldn’t even finish before the picnic basket flew into her head, knocking her off balance and sending her careening off the hill into the black void…
…………………
Pakunoda was climbing something. Some sort of strange orange pillar of fabric. Despite the softness of the fabric, the enormity of all the threads was exhausting. Of course, she didn’t actually know where she was, she was only making assumptions. “Damn,” She thought to herself, “If only there was a way to identify where I am. If it really is the fabric on someone’s pants, then they have to belong to somebody.” As she thought this, an idea popped in her mind: “Wait a minute. If the threads are this far apart, then I can touch their skin. And if I can do that…” She climbed faster, using all her energy to get to the top of the thread, taking a rest on the top, breathing in deep from her nose…
…………………..
Menchi was hurtling through the air, desperately trying to get a hold of something before her hand finally found its hold on the ground. She immediately gripped it as hard as she could, using her vice hold on the ground to pull herself closer to it, acting as an anchor. Menchi looked back at the enormous void sucking in everything, trying to comprehend what it was, before looking back at the ground, and immediately registering where she was:
She was on a woman’s breast, and was so close to her face that she was dangerously close to getting sucked into her nose. And although the vacuumous inhalation was dying down, something far worse was coming…
………………….
Pakunoda wiped the sweat from her forehead, completely ignoring the bead that was about to roll off the tip of her nose and onto her boob.
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“OH, SHIT!” Menchi cursed, releasing her grip to dodge out of the way of the meteoric bead of sweat moments before it crashed to the breast. “Phew… that was way too close for comfo-”
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Pakunoda sniffled for a moment. “Damn dust… it’s flying around everywhere because of my climbing.” She complained. She scratched the underside of her nose before returning to the task she’d laid ahead of her.
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Menchi went flying at the sharp suction, and was dragged into the abyssal depths of Pakunoda’s nose…
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“Alright, now let’s see here…” Pakunoda said, bringing her hand close to the skin of whoever the pants belonged to. Using her nen technique “Psychometry” to discern who they were based off their memories…
…………………..
Neferpitou was wandering around, trying to investigate where they were and how they got there. It didn’t make any sense- they should be with the king, not wherever this place was. The ground below them was soft and orange, almost like some sort of sponge. Of course, the sky couldn’t help them either, given that it was all just a far-off blur. Where on Earth were they?
As they wandered, they finally felt something- an almost imperceptible itch on their right buttcheek. Imperceptible to a human, at least- but not to Neferpitou. They reached their right hand around to where the microscopic itch was, and brought it in to grip their doughy yet firm cheek.
…………………..
“That… that doesn’t make any sense!” Pakunoda yelled in disbelief. “I-It’s ridiculous! What sort of absurd nen power could do that?! And why here?! Why am I here?! On the cheek of some cat’s ass?!” She yelled in indignation. As she cried, she looked out and saw the shadow of Neferpitou’s paw lording over her. “Oh, no, no, NO!” She said, trying to get as far in as she could, but it was no use. With an earth rending smack, Pakunoda launched forward onto the skin of the titanic ass, blood flying out of her mouth as she was lodged between the skin-tight fabric and the taut, muscular butt of Pitou, before passing out due to the impact.
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“That’s one problem dealt with.” Pitou said, a small smile on their face, pleased with their (literal) handiwork. “Well, not much of a problem, to be honest.” They thought. “Now, if I were to take a guess as to where I’d be based on my surroundings, I’d say-” Their thoughts were cut off by a horrific, bloodcurdling vibrating noise. Pitou closed their ears as fast as they could, but whatever it was thundered all around them. “W-WHAT IS THIS?!” They yelled, almost completely unable to hear themselves.
…………………….
Khara had just turned on her headset, and was preparing to give a tour of the Hunter Association HQ to a new batch of Hunters. There was a bit of static, but that was pretty normal. As she went out to the murmuring crowd, she began to speak, her voice amplified by her headset. “Hello, everyone! And welcome to the Headquarters of the prestigious Hunter Association! If you’ll all just come along with me, then we can get this tour started!”
…………………
The inescapable noise combined with Pitou’s vastly superior senses was akin to being tortured. They screamed and screamed and screamed, but nothing would drown out the incomprehensible tsunami of sound blasting all around her. “I-I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMOOOORE!!!” They screamed, before finally ripping off their ears. As they panted, covered in cold sweat, they smiled. “A-Alright. Good. Now I’ll just wait until this hopefully stops. And I’ll…” They staggered onto their knees. “I’ll have… Doctor Blythe… Mend my ears back on… later…” They finished, passing out from the volumes of pain they’d just endured. Their final thought before drifting off was “I’m glad it wasn’t the king that had to go through this hell…”
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Pyon finally began coming to, absolutely disheveled. “Ugh… w-what… hap-” She didn’t even finish her sentence before she looked around, seeing the mesh shirt she was now stuck in. She looked up to see Menchi, tangled and stuck in… something. Somewhere. She was covered in ranch, totally lost, in the dark, and what’s worse- her phone was nowhere to be found.
“Ugh… I need a vacation…”
THE END