Spoiler Warnings: Sensation Comics #1 (June 1942), All-Star Comics#10 (May 1942), All-Star Squadron#21-22 (May-Jun 1983)
Three significant things had happened in 1942, and two of them had involved Al Pratt the Golden Age Atom.
Firstly, in Big City, Tommy Rogers (son of district attorney Dan Rogers and his wife Martha) had teamed with two friends, boys known as Tubby and Toughy to form Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys. They had begun their career by secretly aiding Dan’s war against a crime wave which had made its way to their own club house. The trio had remained active until 1948, by which time Toughy had remained as short and slim as he had been as a kid six years earlier.
Secondly, in 1942, the Justice Society of America had used a scientist’s time ray to go 500 years into the future, to the year 2442 and gather materials needed for a defense formula in 1942. Al Pratt, the Atom, had gone over the Pacific Ocean and on to a city towering above snow capped peaks, where a race of giants lived. He had been captured by giant military officers in purple uniforms. One of the giant men had taken him home and given him to his wife Carla. The giantess was a beautiful dark brown haired woman with a long red dress, that had white lace on its V-neck. She had put him into a golden cage which hung from the roof and kept him as a pet. He had subsequently escaped and returned to 1942.
The Atom was slightly shorter than the average man, and had been so small that the woman could easily hold him in her hand. The third significant development was his battle with the Cyclotron in 1942, which had caused a side effect which would not manifest until around 1947. In 1947, the Atom began exhibiting ‘atomic strength’.
When the Blue Boys’ adventures seemed to come to an end in 1948, Toughy noticed that he had not grown in stature at all in the entire five years. He was still as small as a child in his early teens. The boys went their separate ways.
Meanwhile Al Pratt had married a woman who had eventually matured out of her original objection to his height, and was still active in the Justice Society of America. The group had begun to act more like a team when handling cases. In the first few years of their adventures, they had simply gone off, each member alone on a solo mission which came under the umbrella theme of the case itself. It was around 1948 that the members began to team up in groups and tackle matters together.
One day Toughy was on a holiday, when he came across a mugging. He quickly waded into the fight and kayoed the two men. He then introduced himself to a teenaged boy.
“I’m Rip,” said the boy, “Rip Hunter. I have been trying to design a time machine that can be used again and again, and only come up with time travel devices that can make three or four trips. I suspect that it’ll be well into the 1950s before I have a durable model. Nevertheless, I’ve invited the Justice Society of America to send one of their members to take the next journey with me, as time travel has proved useful to them before. After what you’ve done, I’d be honored if you had the opportunity to make the time trip with me.”
“I’d love to,” said Toughy.
Note: Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys ran from Sensation Comics #1 to #83, rarely missing an issue (1942 to 1948).
Spoilers: Booster Gold#1&8&9 (Feb & Sept & Oct 1986)
Meanwhile, the Justice Society held their latest meeting and read Rip’s letter.
“I think we should involve one of our number in this boy’s request,” said Hawkman, “Who knows what we might inspire him to do when he reaches adulthood. Who’d like to go?”
“I can’t,” said Johnny Thunder, “I’m off to get counseling over my unrequited younger man crush on Black Canary.”
“She won’t be available either,” said Doctor Mid-Nite, “She’s out with a friend of hers called Kathy Kane. They’ve taken Selina Kyle to a Christian self-help program for wayward women called Girls Of Prayer.”
The others made their apologies, and then the Atom spoke up.
“I’d like to go,” he said, “There’s someone in the future I’d like to catch up with, to explain why I left her. If that boy’s time machine can take me there, it’d be a good opportunity.”
So it was that the Atom, teenaged Rip Hunter and Toughy Blue Boy all time traveled to the time and place of Atom’s request. As it had been six years in the present since he had last seen the giantess Carla, Atom suggested that they arrive in the year 2448. Rip Hunter managed to land his time machine under a cupboard in Carla’s living room.
“Now stay here,” said the Atom, “We’re no match for these giants, and I wouldn’t want you two to be captured.”
The Atom stepped out into the middle of the room, so that his presence on the giant carpet was plainly evident for anyone who should come into the room. He waited until he saw Carla come into the room.
“You’re back Dumplin’,” said Carla, picking him up and locking him in the cage, which was still hanging from the ceiling, “I haven’t seen you for six years. I’d better make sure I leave the windows closed so no birds can fly in and help you escape.”
“I wanted to explain why I left last time. I come from another time, before your race of giants ever came into being. I have missions to handle in my time, and I also have a wife now, just as you have your husband.”
“He was a military man, Dumplin’. He got killed two years ago,” said Carla, “Still at least I have my little pet back.”
“I was never anyone’s pet,” said the Atom as he bent the bars of the golden cage, “And six years ago I didn’t have my atomic strength.”
The Atom stepped out of the cage and jumped onto her shoulder. Then he reached across and bent the bars back into place.
“Super heroes should never leave other people’s property vandalized,” he said.
As she reached for him again, he waited for her fingers to start closing around him. This time he used his atomic strength to push her fingers apart. Then he slid down the back of her dress to the floor, and ran a few paces behind her. Carla turned around and towered in front of him.
“If you try to pick me up again, I’ll have to hurt your hand, Carla. I’m sorry about your husband, but I just came back to give you a polite explanation of my continuing absence from the 25th Century.”
“I’ll miss you Dumplin’. It’s a shame. I was going to give you some nice little furniture I have for your cage. But I guess I shouldn’t keep you from your wife,” she said, and went out of the room.
The Atom returned to Rip Hunter.
“Well your time machine won’t be able to make many more journeys, as you’ve explained. Yet we’ve proven it can go 500 years into the future, and I’ve said a proper goodbye to Carla. So we’ve both accomplished our goals for now. Let’s head back to the 20th Century.”
“Sure,” said Rip, “Hey, where’s Toughy?”
“You mean you let him wander off?” asked the Atom, “I asked both of you to stay here.”
“I was too busy watching out for the giantess,” said Rip.
“Hey, look! He’s running out of the room after the giantess,” said the Atom, “We’d better follow more discretely.”
They reached another room, where the giantess was sitting and eating one of the futuristic meals that left no need for washing up. They saw Toughy run over and pull at her dress to get her attention.
“Oo! It’s an even littler Dumplin’,” she said, lifting Toughy up to the table. He fit far more conveniently into her hand than Al Pratt had done in his Atom costume.
“I came here with the other … err… Dumplin’. I watched him escape from you, Carla. I don’t have any atomic strength. So I couldn’t get out of your cage. Would you like to keep me in the cage as your pet?”
“I don’t believe he’s saying this!” whispered Rip, as the other two hid from view.
“He’s saying it,” said Atom, “We may have brought him here, but we can’t help him if he wants to stay. Let’s get back to the time machine.”
They ran back to the machine, and got in and started up. The machine only took them to another location in the same year of 2448.
“The power is very low. We need to replenish the power source for the trip home,” said Rip. They made friends with a young man and woman, and were able to get hold of a new fuel for the time machine. The fuel didn’t exist in the 20th century, but was commonplace in 2448.
In time that couple would have a child, who would grow up to be the time traveling hero Booster Gold.
Atom and Rip Hunter finally made their time travel journey to 1948, and noticed that the panel was smoking from burn out.
“I might have had to build the next model in 2448 or any time in between now and then,” said Rip, “I guess it’s more hard work for me ahead. Thanks for making the trip with me.”
“Any time,” said the Atom, “I wonder what could have originated a race of giants in the future.”
“They might be descended from some super heroine or super villainess who has growth powers and enlarges before having her baby,” said Rip.
“I guess it’s possible. I’m off to see what the Justice Society is up to.”
Having just asked his pertinent question, Toughy knew what the giantess Carla’s answer would be. He was more excited about how she would word it.
“Yes, Little Dumplin’. I’d love to keep you in the cage as a pet!” she said, “It’s so sweet and considerate of you to offer. You’ll have the furniture I was going to give to the other Dumplin’.”
She shared her meal with him and then took him into the other room and put him into the cage. Then she walked away. He looked at the delight of her upper back, largely exposed by the design of the dress, and waited for her to return with a nice small bed and a shelf to make use of if he needed it. She spent the next few days keeping him company during her every waking hour, taking him from the cage when she needed to be in another room.
“Carla, would you like to go out for a picnic on a date?” he asked her, after taking some time to work up the courage.
“Why yes, Little Dumplin’. I think I would! Let’s go now” she said, and took him out of the cage to join her in the preparation of the picnic basket. He then rode astride her shoulder into the grassy area of the peaks outside the giant city, and was pleased that this time they had arrived at a warmer time of the year than the snow season that the Atom had told them about while they were time traveling.
They reached a nice spot and sat down to eat their food together. Carla washed hers down with a jug of water that he could have drowned in, and served his in a bottle top.
“I must say I was a little worried having you on my shoulder,” she said, “I wasn’t sure which way the wind was blowing. If you’d been blown forward off me, I’d have been able to catch you, but if you’d been blown over the back of my shoulder, you’d have taken an awful fall and been lost to me.”
“There’s an old trick in my time for finding out which way the wind is blowing,” he said, “If you stand up again and put me on your shoulder, just keep your hand close by, so that there’s no risk.”
Carla did so.
He walked along her shoulder towards her beautiful face.
“Now, just put out your tongue,” he said.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to tell from that, which way the wind is blowing,” she said.
“No, but I will,” said Toughy.
Carla’s tongue came out of her mouth and rested against the top of her chin. Toughy ran his arm and hand over her tongue, and then held it out to the wind, and taught her how to use the moisture to determine the direction the wind is blowing.
“I think you’d better ride back in the basket,” she said.
Toughy snuggled up on the folded picnic rug and actually fell asleep at some point. Carla took him back into her house and awoke him and sat on the couch.
“Can I ask you something, Little Dumplin’?”
“Of course, darling giantess,” said Toughy.
“Why did you invited me to capture you?”
“I thought it would be fun. You’re a very attractive lady, and I heard you telling my friend the Atom that you’re alone and single again now.”
“But you could have been in a more equal relationship with any girl your own size. Why did you choose me?”
“I think it’s more fun to be kept as a pet by a beautiful giantess.”
“Wouldn’t that wind direction determination method have worked just as effectively with your own tongue?”
He had thought that she hadn’t thought of that.
“You know, don’t you?” he asked.
“I have noticed that you seemed to be looking rather keenly at my mouth whenever I’ve been eating something,” she said, “And then it looked very much to me as though you were using your wind testing technique as an opportunity to touch my tongue. Do you have a special interest in my mouth, little Dumplin’?”
“It’s true,” he said, “I enjoy being held captive as a pet by you, and I think your mouth looks magnificent. There’s nothing about being with a normal sized girl that can possibly compete with being with you.”
“I think that makes you uniquely special, Toughy. I think you’re very cute and sweet and I love having you as my pet, and it was so nice to go on that date with you today. I’m flattered that you think so highly of my mouth.”
She leaned back on the couch and snuggled him against her neck.
“I’m grateful to you for keeping me, and for letting me touch your tongue even though you suspected that I had rather unusual desires,” he said.
“Little Dumplin’,” she said after a while, “How would you like to lie down inside it?”
“Oh Carla, I’ve wanted that more than anything, since I first saw you!” he said, “Being in the cage with your beautiful mouth talking right in front o me was the closest substitute I ever thought I’d enjoy.”
“There’s no substitute for the meal thing,” she said, “Climb in and stay as long as you like.”
Carla’s lovely lips and her neat white even teeth parted. Toughy stared in at the artificial yawning appearance of her tongue. He had just been given the greatest invitation that could ever be extended to him and him alone. He had spent five years in his teens secretly admiring the beautiful mouths of certain women. Yet none of his costumed super hero deeds could have made possible what this lovely giantess was now about to do for him.
Toughy rubbed each of his hands in turn over her full smooth giant lower lip. Then he climbed onto her lip, sat on his legs, leaned forward into her mouth, stretched out his arms and lowered himself onto her tongue. He grabbed her teeth and pulled the rest of himself into her mouth and lay down on her tongue. While her mouth was still open, he looked off the back of her tongue. How easy it would be to simply disappear down that throat of hers and explore the inner world contained within the red dress that so often adorned her lovely giant figure.
After a while, Toughy slid himself around on the limited space available on her tongue. He only moved an inch or two from side to side, but if felt fantastic. He lay down and waited until her mouth opened again.
“Would you like to come out now?” she asked.
Her vocal chords formed the words down in her throat, but he felt her tongue moving up and down with him on it as she formed the words. At one point, he almost slid into her throat. Toughy quickly put his hand against her back tooth and pushed himself back into a more stable position.
“Yes please,” he called back, and turned himself around to look out of her mouth to see that she had turned her head to the side again. The white skin of her shoulder awaited him. He climbed out of her mouth and onto her shoulder.
“Were you happy with the time length I gave you in there?” she asked.
“Yes thank you. It was the most enjoyable thrilling experience of my life.”
“I can think of one that would be even more thrilling … for both of us,” said Carla.
“Sure, but I don’t know how you’ll top that one for me,” said Toughy.
“The Atom Dumplin’ wouldn’t have quite fit in my mouth,” said Carla, “So I never got to taste him, but I liked the taste of you very much.”
“I liked the feel of your tongue very much too.”
“Let’s see if you like it from the outside too,” she said, gently taking him in her hand, “Lie flat on my palm for a while.”
“Sure, Carla.”
He did so, and hoped that he had understood correctly what was going to happen next. He had enjoyed the feeling of touching Carla’s tongue, but could not see it once she had closed her mouth. Now he saw Carla’s tongue reach out of her mouth and lick his entire upper body.
“Oh wow! Carla, that’s wonderful. Please do it again.”
“I’d love to,” she said, and slowly licked him several times, drawing her tongue slowly back into her mouth each time, allowing him the full opportunity to see each movement and dwell on it.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you Carla!” he said, when she stopped licking him, “You have certainly found a way to top the time I spent in your mouth after all.”
“That wasn’t it,” she said, “I just thought we might enjoy that before I told you what I have in mind.”
“Well, whatever it is, it may surpass the time I spent in your mouth, but it just couldn’t possibly be more enjoyable than the licking.”
“I didn’t exactly say it would be more enjoyable,” she said, “I told you it would be more thrilling. How about gulping?”
“Do you mean into your throat? It would feel nice, I think, and it would be a great thrilling adventure to climb back up to your mouth again after you’ve gulped me into your throat. Do you think you can control how far down I go?”
“We’ll find out, I guess,” she said, and put him into her mouth herself.
He waited a few seconds on her tongue, making sure that he was facing the front of her mouth this time. Then he felt her tongue sliding him into her throat. He was just at the top of her throat now. His head could still see her tongue, when she opened her mouth briefly. Then she closed it. Toughy felt a little bit of movement around him.
“Here comes the first gulp,” he thought, “I wonder how many she’ll make.”
She gulped once, and he went down about the length of the height of his body and then stuck in her throat again.
“I’ll have fun climbing up this slippery interior to get to her mouth now,” he thought.
Carla gulped a second time. He went down another few feet and stopped.
“If I wasn’t such a tight fit, I’d have gone all the way down, whether she gulped or not,” he thought, “And if I was the Atom’s size, I’d not have fit fully in her mouth in the first place. Well, here goes.”
He edged his way back up her throat and out onto her tongue. Then Carla took him from her mouth.
“I really enjoyed that, Little Dumplin’,” she said, “Next time I’d like to do it properly.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well you only went down the distance of two gulps,” said Carla, “The greater thrill that I was referring to would be for me to keep gulping until you’ve gone all the way down to my stomach.”
“Do you mean that you would like to eat me?”
“That doesn’t adequately express the situation, Little Dumplin’. I mean that I AM GOING to eat you. You came to me willing to be caged and kept as a pet. You were willing to be my date today too. In both of those things, you didn’t share the Atom’s reluctance. However, I am going to eat you all up for my dinner tonight, and you’ll just have to go along with it, as surely as the Atom would have had to go along with living in the cage if he hadn’t escaped.”
He looked at her in wonder. Even as she had spoken the words, she had aroused in him a desire which went even further than the wildest dreams he’d ever had of being inside a woman’s mouth. The former fantasy had been so elusive all his life until this very day, that he had never thought beyond it. Yet now he would have the opportunity that she was offering, to be swallowed whole, alive, intact and able to appreciate every second of the experience. More than that, she was insisting on doing it.
“The word ‘helpless’ doesn’t exactly express what I’m feeling right now either,” he said, “I think it’s going to be the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever done for me, and I feel so aroused by the way you’ve been calling me Little Dumpling.”
Really? Is this what you wanted all along? I hadn’t guessed at that, not even when you touched my tongue to test the wind.”
“It might have been what I subconsciously wanted all along, but I wasn’t aware of it. Maybe it explains why I’ve always liked you calling me Little Dumpling. All I know is that you made me even happier than I could have made myself, the moment you suggested it.”
“If you recall, I didn’t suggest it. I announced it,” said Carla, “But I had no idea that even you would want to go this far. I was just going to do it anyway. I think we must really be made for each other in every way, … LITTLE DUMPLIN’.”
“I used to wish I was Dollman, and wish that Phantom Lady would be willing to put me in her mouth, but you’ve made things even better,” said Toughy.
“Who are they?” asked Carla.
“In my time, Dollman is a man who can shrink himself to tiny size. He’d be the size of a blueberry in your mouth, after he’d done that. Phantom Lady works with him in a team called the Freedom Fighters. She takes on criminals using her Black Light Ray. They occasionally joined with the Justice Society of America under its alternate name of the All-Star Squadron.
“Do you have a fancy name and costume too?”
“Well the costume’s all blue, but I worked with two other costumed boys. One was called Little Boy Blue, and the other two of us called ourselves the Blue Boys.”
“Well we still have the rest of the afternoon to come up with a more distinctive name for you.”
“How about Dinner Mite?”
“Possibly. Have you got any more ideas?”
“Dumpling Boy?”
“Not really my final choice. I like it though.”
“Johnny Chunder?”
“Definitely not I plan to keep you down.”
“I plan to stay down, but I just can’t think of any more.”
“Allow me to make the final suggestion. I’d like to call you Delicious Lad.”
“Oh Carla, it’s perfect.”
“I’m pleased you like it,” said Carla, “It’s also the perfect time to move to another room.”
She enclosed him in her fingers, so that he couldn’t see, and went up to her bedroom. She put him in the drawer and closed it for a few minutes. When she opened her drawer, she was wearing only a bikini.
“Do you have a pool?” he asked.
“No. I was wondering if you’d like to take a fairly G-rated shower with me.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought about it.”
“It’s the only chance you’ll have.”
“I’d love to be with you while you’re in the shower, but It’d be more like a monsoon to me.”
“Not if I block the main blast of the water pressure with my back,” she said, placing him just behind the top of her bikini, “You’ll just get the water that sprays over my shoulders onto you.”
“It sounds perfect,” he said.
“Let’s go then,” said Carla and took him into the next room, which was the bathroom.
She ran the shower and stepped in. He looked up at her beautiful face, and the parts of her upper body that he could see. At one point she leaned back to wet her hair.
“I won’t shower you in shampoo,” she said, “I’ll just wet it today. I can shampoo another day, and you won’t feel it in my tummy.”
“Thank you,” he said, and looked in excitement at the beauty of her neck as her head leaned back.
From his position, with the knowledge that he would soon be making his way down the inside of that lovely neck, it was an astounding sight.
Carla finished her shower, stepped out and began to dry off. Once dried, she walked down to the kitchen and put him into the oven, and turned it on a little.
“You can dry off that way,” she said, “It’ll be like cooking you. I’ll be down soon to serve the meal and eat you.”
Carla walked out of the kitchen, which he watched her doing in excitement, using the window of the oven.
When she returned, she was wearing another beautiful dress, one that he had never seen before.
She opened the oven door, and stepped back to let him admire it.
“Do you like this dress?” she asked, “I can go up and change if you’d prefer me to eat you in the red one.”
“You look radiantly adorable,” he said, “This is the most amazing night I’ve ever had.”
“I should hope so,” said Carla, “We won’t have any opportunity to improve on it.”
“I take it you’re glad I came to 2448 then,” said Delicious Lad.
“Nobody else would make as nice a dinner as you’re going to be,” she said, “Are you dried off and ready to come out now?”
“I think so,” he said.
“Alright Little Dumplin’,” she said, and he saw her gigantic but proportionately slender fingers reaching into the oven to grasp him.
(Author apologies for the spacing for the rest of this chapter. I can’t seem to reformat the original word document).
Looking out at her, his own position roughly level with her awaiting tummy, and watching that hand come towards him was extremely stimulating.
Carla’s fingers closed around him. The feel of them stirred every possible enjoyable emotion and sensory reaction in him. He looked at her forearm as she lifted him high in the air, and carried him across the kitchen, where she took out a plate with her other hand and then gently set him down on it.
“Do you know that, when you rubbed your arm along my tongue to test the wind, I enjoyed the taste of you so much, that I did think of sitting down and popping you straight into my mouth and gobbling you down there and then without any preamble,” she said.
“I might well have enjoyed that too, but I’m glad we’ve had these other adventures together this afternoon.”
“So am I, Little Dumplin’.”
Carla carried the plate into the dining room and set it down on the table.
He looked up at the way her body moved as she slowly seated herself at the table. Every single thing she did excited him. All the simplest gestures that women made as a part of their everyday lifestyles (when performed by a beautiful giantess who was about to eat him) were the most enjoyably enervating sights to Delicious Lad.
“I’m not having second thoughts, just wanting to prepare myself some more,” said Delicious Lad, “Are you going to draw this out or do it fairly quickly?”
“Well I think we have drawn it out already this afternoon,” she said, “How does it feel to know that I can have you sliding down to my stomach in very little time at all?”
“It feels terrific,” said Delicious Lad, “Please darling, start whenever you’re ready. I can hardly wait.”
“Why not?” said Carla.
She picked him up, licking her lips, opened her mouth and placed him onto her outward moving tongue, drew him into her mouth and gulped several times in succession. He had hardly time to think about it before he reached her stomach.
Back in 1948, the Atom had arrived and wondered what the Justice Society of America were up to. Had it been 1942, he could have asked Roy Thomas. The lad took endless notes that year, but seemed unable to make the adjustment when 1943 started, having missed out on the Junior Justice Society code kit that he had hoped to receive as a Christmas present at the end of 1942.
Nevertheless, the Atom soon learned that the Justice Society had responded to two emergencies. The first was a warning message from an alien being known as the Botcher, who explained that he’d once had the chance to prevent the rise to power of a girl who became an enormous gigantic woman whose traveling space ship had the ability to generate large meals to sate her constant hunger. Her one condition over which she had no control was known as the Power Toxic. After consuming a large meal, she would need to use a giant flatus tube to enable her to pass wind without damaging her space ship. She had one end of the flatus tube piped through an airlock which led out of the ship. She would place the other end at the rear portion of her anatomy at necessary moments and then proceed to release the Power Toxic, which would then drift into the atmosphere of whatever planet she was closest to, creating the Nose-Zone layer.
Whole civilizations had been subjected to the smell for weeks, until it had finally been drawn back into space. Now the giant woman known as Flatulus was approaching earth. Hourman, Sandman, Hawkman, and Starman went to take off into space in a rocket ship that they had captured from one of their old foes and stored not far from Justice Society of America Headquarters. They would prepare the rocket and head into outer space and appeal to Flatulus to stay away from earth. The Atom decided to go and join the Flatulus mission, as it was much closer than Africa.
Meanwhile Green Lantern, Flash, Doctor Mid-Nite, Wildcat and Black Canary had gone to Africa to head off a second emergency. They had been contacted by a talking Gorilla, who claimed to be the king of a city of Gorillas. The city was scientifically shielded from view to outsiders, unless they chose to reveal themselves. The Gorilla King explained that a young gorilla named Solovar had been trying to perfect the most tasty nutritious banana, by adding a number of different spices to the banana, while he worked on it in his lab. Then he had accidentally bumped a vial containing an aquatic amoeba, which had then fallen onto the experimental banana. The banana had merged with the amoeba and grown to the height of a 40 foot banana. Though unable to communicate, it had acquired legs to walk, and even the strength to break out of Gorilla City, and was rampaging uncontrollably through the African wilderness. They had to find a way of stopping it before it reached a town. Solovar, in an attempt to expiate some of the guilt he felt, came up with an African name for it: B’nana Beast.
The Flash tried running around B’nana Beast in high speed circles, but it simply stepped over him, unaffected by the miniature tornado that the Flash had created.
Green Lantern’s ring blasted it into two segments. Yet they just rejoined, reforming the single B’nana Beast.
Wildcat and Black Canary had no means of effectively attacking it. Dr Mid-Nite threw a black out bomb at it, but the B’nana Beast seemed to be able to move just as effectively in the dark.
Back at the building near Justice Society of America Headquarters, the Atom arrived just in time to join the launch. The Justice Society took off into outer space and managed to dock in the gargantuan spaceship belonging to Flatulus.
“What is your business here?” asked Flatulus.
“We come to ask you to steer away from earth,” said Hawkman.
“But earth is directly on the way to my next destination,” said Flatulus, “I regret that your planet will be affected by what I must do, but I have just consumed a large synthetic Venusian curry, and the great flatulence will soon be upon me.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Hourman.
“It is my only answer,” said Flatulus.
“Alright, let her have it,” said Hawkman.
Sandman used his wirepoon gun to no avail, then his sleep sand weapon. Neither had any effect against Flatulus. Starman blasted her with his cosmic rod, but it achieved nothing. It was like shining a flashlight on Mount Rushmore.
Green Lantern used his ring to contact Hawkman and explain the lack of success that his team were having as well. Hawkman relayed back what was happening to his team. Even now Flatulus was reaching for the flatus tube, knowing that the great flatulence would be on her shortly.
Back on earth, the Flash had been listening to Hawkman’s message coming through Green Lantern’s power ring.
“I think I know how to solve the Flatulus problem,” said the Flash, “I’m a police scientist in my secret identity. Flatulence, even flatulence of a cosmic level, is caused in a large part by eating too much meat and not getting enough fruit in your diet. If Flatulus has been eating synthetic meat from a ship for countless years, then she hasn’t been getting any fruit at all.”
“But how does that help us?” came Hawkman’s voice, “There is no way of creating real fruit, with all its colonic benefits, using Flatulus’s ship’s devices.”
“I know,” said the Flash, “She would need to eat a self renewing supply of fruit, that would forever regenerate in her insides, forever clearing out the plumbing and leaving Flatulus without the Great Flatulence of the Power Toxic that you’ve described. That supply of fruit is available now. Instead of trying to stop Flatulus from going near earth, you should lead her straight down to earth, with the promise that she will never need to apply the flatus tube again. All she has to do is come down and eat-“
“B’nana Beast!” said Wildcat.
“Flash, you’re every bit as smart as you are fast,” said Black Canary, “You’ve just played both our problems off against each other.”
“I’ll run it past Flatulus and see what she says,” said Hawkman, and did so.
Flatulus agreed to be guided by the Justice Society quartet who had come to her ship. She landed in the abundant space of the African wilderness and had no trouble capturing B’nana Beast. She proceeded to eat B’nana Beast until he/it was all gone. Happily though, so was her flatulence.
“Now I can start dating!” she said, “Perhaps here, as nowhere else in the universe, Flatulus has found those she may dare to call general practitioners.”
“I still feel responsible for all the trouble I caused,” said Solovar.
“There is no need to err …flagellate yourself young Solovar,” said the Gorilla King, “Your discovery has actually saved earth from a far smellier fate than it has ever known before. I now choose you to, years from now, have the honour of being my successor as ruler of Gorilla City.”
“If your city has any more troubles by then, I’ll have to hope there’s another Flash to deal with them, I guess,” said Jay Garrick.
Flatulus left earth, now enjoying the infinite process of digesting a fruit being who could regenerate itself, with the consumed portions preserving her rectal health.
The Justice Society members returned to their homes until they were needed again.
In 1951, the United States Senate called the Justice Society of America to attend a meeting to discuss how the team could best serve the country’s needs, with World War Two now six years past.
Senator King For-A-Day called the meeting to order, and addressed the Justice Society.
“We believe that the days of mystery men should be a thing of the past. Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman and Black Canary have clearly recognizable faces,” said For-A-Day, “But Atom, Starman, Dr Mid-Nite, Wildcat, Mr Terrific, Hourman, Green Lantern, Sandman and even your honourary member Batman all hide their faces behind masks. We would ask that you expose yourselves to this committee, so that the American people may fully have your trust and you will gain theirs.”
“We’ve served this country for years,” said Wildcat, “You want us to expose ourselves? Alright, team, about face!”
With that, all of the men in the Justice Society turned their backs to the Senate Committee, dropped their tights and mooned the committee.
“That does it,” said For-A-Day, “All male members of the Justice Society are forbidden to operate.”
“With respect, Sir, we didn’t show you our male members,” said Mr Terrific, “Only our cheeks.”
However, the defender of rear play was not to change their minds on that day. Every member of the senate supported King For-A-Day’s decision. They placed a ban on all Mystery MEN.
“Fine,” said Hourman, “You won’t be hearing from us again!”
All of the Justice Society’s men went to their rocket ship, and flew it to the planet Uranus, where men did not wear trousers. Using Green Lantern’s ring, they all learned the entire Uranusian language in a matter of minutes. They then became the planet’s only team of super heroes.
“So here we are, worlds away from our home planet, all because you had to BUTT in,” said the Atom.
“Aw can the gabbing and let’s get to work,” said Wildcat.
Back on earth, Wonder Woman and Black Canary were convinced that someone had been behind the sudden betrayal of the Senate’s belief in them. Wonder Woman went undercover as Diana Prince, while Black Canary began interrogating the underworld. In time, they learned that Senator For-A-Day was really the Psycho Pirate, and that he had been manipulating the minds and emotions of the other Senators, creating paranoia about the Justice Society, in order to disband it. Yeoman Diana Prince had Psycho Pirate arrested and removed from office.
Yet the Justice Society men still felt that the senate had let the backside down and refused to return to earth. With no men on the team, Wonder Woman and Black Canary threw a membership drive in the mid 1950s, and recruited Batwoman and her niece Bat-Girl (alias Kathy and Betty Kane), as well as the recently reformed Catwoman, who had added a bowler hat to her outfit and renamed herself Hatwoman to divest herself of her criminal past completely.
To protest the way that their mentors and other men had been driven off the planet for merely dropping their tights, Robin (Batman’s sidekick), Sandy the Golden Boy (Sandman’s sidekick), Jimmy Olsen (Superman’s best friend), Star Spangled Kid (Stripesy’s partner) and Doiby Dickles (Green Lantern’s ally) formed the Posterior Five and began operating in public with no pants. Doiby and Jimmy added masks to hide their identities. Jimmy became known as Erratic Lad. Doiby Dickles had no ready soubriquet in his mind, but the others had noted the number of times his exposed posterior had broken wind and soon dubbed him the Rude Tornado.
“We have to do something about this,” said Batwoman, “Those boys are giving super heroes a bum rap.”
“The problem is that all five of them have nice firm bottoms. The public’s women are eating it up,” said Bat-Girl.
“That gives me an idea,” said Black Canary, “Wonder Woman, aren’t you an Amazon scientist on your home island?”
“Yes,” said Wonder Woman.
“And you were on the team when Brainwave managed to shrink the Justice Society members without even entering our headquarters?” asked Black Canary.
“I was around in more of a secretarial capacity,” said Wonder Woman
“Do you think you could reverse engineer the process, using all the notes and equipment that the team captured from Brainwave’s headquarters?” asked Black Canary.
“I suppose I could,” said Wonder Woman.
“That’s brilliant,” said Hatwoman, “We’ll soon have the means to cut that Nude Boy Legion down to size.”
“While you get to work on it, the rest of us will try to secretly follow the Posterior Five to their unknown headquarters,” said Batwoman.
The four women went out on the town and soon managed to trail Doiby Dickles to the Batcave. A further study of the area convinced them that it was right under Wayne Manor. Reports of Bruce Wayne’s unexplained absence from Gotham City confirmed their newly aroused suspicion that Robin was Dick Grayson, and that the boys were all living in Wayne Manor in their secret identities.
Alfred Pennyworth, the master of discretion had been grieving Batman’s departure from earth, but the thought of Robin parading around with mask, cape, shirt and no trousers was more than he could cope with. He had abandoned Wayne Manor and returned to England, the country of his ancestry.
Using Brainwave’s shrinking technique, the Justice Society arranged for all members of the Posterior Five to shrink to tiny size while asleep in their beds at Wayne Manor in their civilian identities.
“Now all we have to do is pay a call on Wayne Manor before the sun comes up, and we’ll no doubt surprise them,” said Wonder Woman.
Using the secret entrance to the Batcave, the Justice Society lasses snuck in and found their way up into Wayne Manor. Hatwoman, Batwoman and Bat-Girl lit up the rooms with their flashlights.
The next morning Doiby Dickles awoke to find that his head seemed to have come off the pillow. He reached for it and tried to pull it, but it was too heavy. The sheet and blanket felt heavier above him too. He pushed the top end off him and looked at the pillow. It was gigantic. Then he rolled over and saw the relatively gigantic form of Hatwoman lying beside him, smiling with satisfaction.
“Well if it isn’t one of the Trouser-less Titans,” said Hatwoman, “I think we could really make ourselves at home here.”
“Did ya do dis to me?” asked Doiby.
“More or less,” said Hatwoman, “Much less in your case. The Justice Society women hatched this LITTLE plot.”
She picked him up and sat him on her chin.
Sandy awoke in another room and discovered he had been shrunken. In disbelief and shock, he examined one side of the bed and saw that the blanket had not been tucked under the mattress. He slid down until he was almost to the floor, where he saw Bat-Girl crouched under the bed waiting for him.
She made a gentle grab for him and crawled out from under the bed.
Sylvester Pemberton awoke to see a blue costume completely blocking his view. It was light blue with white stars on it. He couldn’t remember hanging his star spangled shirt in front of his pillow the night before, and wondered if Alfred had returned and taken on an eccentric view of clothing maintenance. He looked up further past the star spangled cloth and saw a red garment of huge proportions meeting an enormous woman’s exposed upper back and in a Vshape. Looking up still further he could see her shoulders and her long dark wavy hair.
“It’s not my costume,” he thought, “There’s only one woman whose lower costume resembles my Star Spangled Kid shirt, “Wonder Woman’s a giant. No, it seems that she’s shrunken me somehow.”
“Wonder Woman!” he called, “What on earth?”
He saw her turn her head and look down at him over her shoulder.
“How does it feel to be looking at a Star Spangled behind for a change?” she asked, pivoting her upper body a little and reaching for him.
Dick Grayson awoke to find himself covered in thick foliage. He struggled through it furiously, but began to wonder if he’d been buried in a thick shrub somewhere. He pushed and edged faster and more energetically, until he suddenly broke through the last of it and bumped into something soft and pleasant to the touch. Looking more closely, he realized that it was Black Canary’s cheek. His body had shrunken onto the pillow, rather than the mattress, unlike Doiby’s. Black Canary had gently lain down and let her hair cover him like a blanket.
“So what happened to Robin the Boy’s undies?” asked Black Canary, “You haven’t been looking so green around the groin lately.”
Jimmy Olsen awoke to find that he was looking at the far end of a now comparatively gigantic bed, beyond which stood Batwoman still at full size. She suddenly dived onto the bed, causing the mattress to bounce Jimmy up as though it were a trampoline. Batwoman caught him in her hand and sat up.
“You haven’t exactly been Jimmy Wholesome, have you?” she asked, “Fancy parading around in the lower half of the altogether and calling yourself Erratic Lad. What would Lois Lane say?”
The Justice Society girls took their four captives into the Wayne living room and put them on the table, which they then sat around, looking down at the reduced members of the Posterior Five.
“So now we learn your naked true identities,” said Hatwoman.
“That’s some quip coming from an ex-criminal,” said Jimmy, “Haven’t you read Miss Lane’s articles in the Daily Planet? The public are eating us up.”
“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” said Black Canary, “Batwoman, would you fetch the whipped cream?”
“You can’t be serious!” said Sandy.
“Of course we are,” said Wonder Woman, “Just call us the Serious Five.”
“There’s a bottle of cream in the pantry,” said Dick Grayson, but we don’t have any whipped cream in the manor at all.
He was playing a desperate gambit, hoping to send them all out to a Gotham supermarket to pick up a can of whipped cream, which might give the Posterior Five a chance to escape and work out how to restore their sizes.
“That won’t be a problem,” said Hatwoman, “Just bring the bottle and a large bowl.”
Batwoman and Bat-Girl left the room and soon came back with a huge transparent plastic bowl and a bottle of cream. Batwoman poured the cream into the bowl.
Hatwoman then took out her cat-o-nine-tails and whipped the cream with several slashes in succession.
The women resumed their seats.
“Time for you boys to get your Justice Society desserts,” said Bat-Girl, “Each of you will be eaten by the woman who captured him in his bedroom.”
“You’re first, Grayson, you Dips Dick,” said Black Canary, and dipped Robin in the cream until he was completely soaked in it.
She popped the toy wonder into her mouth and sucked on him until all of the cream was gone. Then she swallowed eagerly and Robin was gone.
“Say it’s breakfast time, isn’t it?” said Wonder Woman, going into the voice of a typical television commercial housewife, “Hi. I’m Wonder Woman, and I like to start my day with a nice healthy Star Spangled Snack. You’ll be seeing stars too, if you take the Sylvester Cholesterol challenge.”
Wonder Woman dipped Sylvester Pemberton into the cream from his waist to his face, then repeatedly licked him until all of the cream had gone. Then she took him by his legs and held him over her open mouth, with her head tilted back.
“Farewell, Star Dangled Kid,” she said, and slowly lowered him into her mouth and gobbled him down.
“Time for me to enjoy a tasty breakfast of dill Dickles,” said Hatwoman and held Doiby upside down, “Just lower your arms, Doiby, I don’t want the rest of you dipped.”
She dipped his arms and hands in cream and then sucked each one clean with her mouth still open and then popped him into her mouth and swallowed him.
Bat-Girl didn’t have a verbal repertoire. She was not interested in whipped cream either. She merely reached for Sandy, giggling happily, forced the Golden Boy into her mouth and gulped several times.
Batwoman’s slender elegant fingers encircled Jimmy Olsen. She dipped only his legs into the cream, and then had him sit on her lower lip, while she held her mouth open. She sucked the cream from the back of his legs and then had him turn around and hang his upper body out of her mouth while she did the same with the front of his legs. Then she drew him entirely into her mouth and swallowed him.
“Well that was delicious,” she said, “I’ll put the bowl away after I wash it out in the kitchen.”
Batwoman got up and turned, and accidentally knocked Hatwoman’s hat off.
“Clumsy fool!” said Hatwoman, as her hat fell to the floor.
Before Hatwoman could retrieve it, Wonder Woman gripped Hatwoman tightly.
“What have you done to us?” she asked, “I would never have eaten someone unless I was under a criminal’s influence. Did Brainwave’s shrinking technique have a mind control factor included?”
“You can’t blame me for that. It was Black Canary’s plan. She even responded to the mention of the phrase ‘eating it up’ made in reference to the female public opinion of the Posterior Five.”
“Yes, but I happen to know the modus operandi of a criminal other than Brainwave, whose equipment you stole, Hatwoman,” said Batwoman, “I wondered where I’d seen that hat before. Now I know. That bowler hat belongs to Jervis Tetch alias the Mad Hatter. You must have stolen it from him and then used it initially to mesmerize Black Canary into suggesting her plan to shrink the Posterior Five and then all of us into eating them. The poor little dears are even now sliding slowly through our bodies and into our tummies to fight for their survival.”
“We have to get them out,” said Bat-Girl.
“But how can anyone go inside our bodies and retrieve them?” asked Black Canary.
“I can just apply the same shrinking process in no time. It’s all still set up,” said Wonder Woman.
“Sure, but who would have the skill to go down inside our bodies and make it back intact with the Posterior Five?”
“There’s one man who could do it,” said Batwoman, “Cave Carson! Bat-Girl and I will use the radio equipment down in the Batcave to send out a call for him on every possible frequency. We’ll need five people. The other four are perfect for this type of operation too: The Challengers of the Unknown. We’ll call them too. It’ll mean giving away the location of the Batcave, but we’ve no time to do anything else.”
Wonder Woman went out to where she’d parked her invisible plane on the back lawn of Wayne Manor, and collected the reverse engineered Brainwave shrinking equipment.
Responding to a message from Bat-Girl, the Challengers of the Unknown soon arrived, and landed their own craft on the front lawn.
Batwoman finally managed to contact Cave Carson, who was on an adventure of his own, but willing to interrupt it for their emergency.
“Just give me the latitude and longitude of the Batcave,” said Cave Carson clearly audible on the frequency used.
Batwoman got it from the Batcomputer and told Cave Carson. It was not long before Cave’s brand new borer craft pushed mounds of earth aside and surfaced in the Batcave.
“I was inside the earth at the time and thought it would be much quicker if I took the direct route,” said Cave Carson.
He took out five sets of spelunking equipment and gave four of them to the Challengers of the Unknown. Wonder Woman shrank the five men and the spelunking equipment. The women then helped the men into their mouths. Carson and the Challengers fastened their ropes to the women’s teeth, and then went spelunking down their throats, turned on the torches on their safety helmets and made their way down further, until each of them found the swallowed boy concerned and had the boy climb up the rope first, while the man belayed at the bottom. Then the men climbed back up and out of the women’s mouths too.
Spoiler Warning: Action Comics#242 (July 1958)
“You did it!” said Batwoman, “Even from Hatwoman’s insides, while Wonder Woman held her firmly.”
“There’s just one SMALL problem,” said Wonder Woman, “Even I can’t work out how to reverse engineer the antidote to the shrinking procedure. How are we going to get the Challengers, Cave Carson and the Posterior Five all back to normal size?”
“What about one of Rip Hunter’s time machines?” suggested Black Canary, recalling what the Atom had told her about them, “Then we can see if any technology exists in the future that could help us.”
“Yes. He might well have gotten one working reliably now!” said Wonder Woman, “Call Rip Hunter and arrange a rendezvous.”
“I’ll bind Hatwoman or Catwoman in my Batrope and take her to Commissioner Gordon, “said Bat-Girl.
Soon Rip Hunter, the other three JSA women and the ten shrunken boys and men were all in the time machine. They went only a year into the future each time, quickly looking for clues to a way to restore size. In 1958, they caught a new alien android villain named Brainiac who was using a shrinking ray on the entire city of Metropolis.
The JSA promptly attacked, but could not penetrate his force shield, until Black Canary’s sonic cry completely broke it down. Wonder Woman punched the android to pieces, just as Batwoman snatched his shrink gun from behind. She looked at its control settings, and flipped the switch into the reverse position. First she enlarged Metropolis back to normal size, and then used the weapon to restore Cave Carson, the Posterior Five and the Challengers of the Unknown.
“I feel more like the Challenger of the Unclothed after that last mission,” said Ace.
Rip Hunter took them all back to their own time, not that much earlier than 1958, as it had turned out. Doiby Dickles decided that he’d had enough time in the buff. He kept his mask, but renamed himself the Pants-On Stranger, and fought crime solo in Green Lantern’s honour.
The JSA women held a meeting with the other four members of the Posterior Five.
“You do realize now, that the Psycho Pirate was manipulating the Senate, just as Hatwoman had been manipulating us, since she never really reformed?” said Batwoman.
“Yes, we understand now,” said Sylvester Pemberton.
“Yet even under her influence, we all made specific choices of which of you boys we wanted to capture and eat,” said Bat-Girl.
“I think each of us chose the one we found most cute,” said Black Canary, “I’m sure I would have been happy as Larry if I’d just married a civilian and settled down in a flower shop or something, but speaking for myself, I hope you boys become our boyfriends.”
“I suppose a Robin is the natural partner of a Canary,” said Dick Grayson.
“And Wonder Woman and I do go well together,” said Sylvester Pemberton, who had admired the adorable amazon for years.
“I do like Bat-Girl,” said Sandy.
“I think you’re beautiful, Batwoman,” said Jimmy.
“There is one thing that would sweeten the deal,” said Sylvester Pemberton, “Since we aren’t going to continue as the Posterior Four (now that we’ve all found some romantic happiness to sublimate our grief for the absent JSA men). Since Psycho Pirate’s been stopped, and the ban on mystery men has been lifted, could we join the Justice Society of America?”
Brainiac first appeared in Action Comics #242 (July 1958), exactly 15 years after Brainwave shrank the JSA in the story “The Brainwave goes Beserk” in All-Star Comics#17 (July 1943).
“We’d be glad to have you,” said Wonder Woman, “Is that what you’d each like?”
Sandy and Robin agreed with Star Spangled Kid. Jimmy Olsen wanted to resume his career at the Daily Planet, having never been much of a super hero in his own opinion in the first place. He offered to be the JSA’s publicity agent, and the team accepted. Of course he would run into them all the time as he continued to date Batwoman.
By 1963, a new Flash had come upon the scene. His secret identity was Barry Allen. Racing around on one of his high speed trips, he came upon the late Brainiac’s abandoned flying saucer, and examined it. It had been somehow sealed by the controls on Brainiac’s belt, when he had left it in 1958 to shrink Metropolis. When he’d been destroyed, the ship had remained sealed. Nobody else who’d previously found the space ship had ever been able to get inside it.
However, Barry Allen had acquired such powerful super speed, that he was able to vibrate himself inside the ship, as his own molecules passed harmlessly through the hull of the flying saucer. As a police scientist like Jay Garrick, Barry was sure that he could operate the ship, and decided to take it on a flight. First he reprogrammed the door to open manually from the inside or outside, and then he was ready to use it. He explored most of the planets in the milky way and found them uninhabited, until he came to Uranus, and met the local Flash of that world his predecessor Jay Garrick.
“How would you like to have a race around Uranus with Superman?” asked Jay.
“I’d enjoy that,” said Barry, “But I’m not too comfortable running at high speed with my flashpoint flapping in the wind I’ll generate.”
“That soon got to me too,” said Jay, “So I’ve altered my costume. Most of my legs are still on show, but I wear shorts, and to compensate for the lack of Uranusian exhibitionism on my part, I’ve replaced my shirt with a red trench coat, and put a temporary tattoo of a lightning bolt emblem on the skin of my chest … after shaving and waxing, of course. If you do the same, then we can flash our chest emblems at spectators of the race, while we’re pacing Superman on the big day.”
“Sounds great,” said Barry Allen, “We’ll be known as Flashers of Two Worlds.”
Soon the great skinny sprint was on, with three super heroes (each at least partially clad in red, yellow and blue) racing over land and sea, with local Uranusians flocking out to catch the arrival of the super athletes in their own towns. Barry Allen’s super speed was just a little bit faster than Jay Garrick’s and significantly faster than Superman’s. He won the race and invited the Justice Society men to return to earth in Brainiac’s flying saucer and rejoin the original team, explaining that times were changing, and that masked super heroes would be welcome in the 1960s. They accepted and were surprised to see that Batwoman, Batgirl, Robin, Sandy and Star Spangled Kid had joined the team.
The Justice Society of America were holding their next meeting one day in their inner city headquarters.
“The word ‘Society’ in our name seems so outdated, like such a thing of the 1940s,” said Batman, “We need a more modern name that will strike relevance into the hearts of criminals.”
Just then a little league baseball team player (who was practicing tossing the ball to his team mate on the footpath outside) accidentally tossed the baseball through the window. It landed on the table with a thud, right in front of Batman.
“It’s like an omen!” said Robin, “Let’s rename ourselves the Justice LEAGUE of America.”
“Alright then. Onto our next item of business,” said Batman, “My last mission for the team was to initiate that name change. I would now like to announce that Sandman, Wildcat, Dr Mid-Nite, Mr Terrific and I are all feeling a bit too old to go on fighting crime with gadgets alone and no super powers. So we’ve talked it over amongst ourselves and decided to retire. I propose that we accept the new applications for membership from Professor Woosh, Kid Atom, Martian Manhunter and Aquaman.”
They were accepted into the Justice League, and had not revealed their secret identities of Barry Allen (who had renamed himself to avoid confusion with the returning Golden Age Flash), Ray Palmer, John Jones and Arthur Curry.
Then the formal meeting broke up and they began to socialize.
“Do you think you’ll ever want to return to the Eight Soldiers of Victory?” asked Sandy.
“No. I’d like to stay near Wonder Woman, now that we’re dating,” said the Star Spangled Kid, “The Soldiers have still got Green Arrow, Speedy, Vigilante, Shining Knight, Crimson Avenger, Wing and Stripesy. They can rename themselves the Seven Soldiers of Victory.”
Hawkgirl turned up, keen to speak to her husband Hawkman.
“I’ve remembered the truth of our origin,” she said, “There’s no such thing as reincarnation. We only believed that we were the reincarnations of Prince Khufu and his lover because we both had dreams to that effect at the same time. We really came from another planet called Thanagar, used our Absorbascon to learn all about earth as we drew near the planet, got distracted by the Absorbascon and lost control of the ship. We staggered out, jolted by the crash, and soon after developed amnesia. It all came back to me after I tried the premium orange juice for a change.”
“This is amazing news,” said Hawkman, “There’s even some crazy rumour going around that you’re the reincarnation of an adulterous ancient queen who had an immoral extra-marital affair with some ancient character who was later reincarnated as a new Green Lantern. You can’t imagine how upset I was to learn of that. I’m glad we know the truth.”
Hawkman tried the premium orange juice too, and his life as Katar Hol came back into his memory.
Bruce Wayne finally married Vicky Vale and they had a daughter named Helena. Alfred Pennyworth had resumed his former British intelligence agent role in England, until he was posted to Gotham City as the replacement police commissioner after James Gordon retired.
Catwoman and Psycho Pirate served short prison sentences, as emotionally manipulating senators and super heroes was very hard to prove. Then they connected over their common pasts and married. They had a daughter (whom they hoped would grow up with Catwoman’s athletic agility and Psycho Pirate’s mental powers) and called her Lilith.
Superman was visited by three heroic beings from the 40th Century named Ben Boxer, Kamandi and OMAC (One Man’s Artistic Creation). They invited Superman to come to the future and join their Legion of Human Heroes, to take on the corrupt talking animal government that had overrun the world after the great disaster of the 38th Century. Superman accepted and was seldom seen again.
Rip Hunter met a teenaged boy named Gym, who asked if he could join him as a time traveling companion. Rip took him on his first journey, to the year 2449, to see if Toughy Blue Boy had changed his mind about remaining with the giantess Carla as her pet.
Once again, Rip materialized under the cupboard, and manned the time machine, while Gym went out to investigate. Gym saw the giantess Carla sitting in her room alone.
“I was sent by the man who once brought your latest pet to your time,” said Gym, “What happened to him, by the way?”
“The same thing that’s going to happen to you,” said Carla, as she stood up and stepped towards him, “I ate him.”
Gym was soon making his way down Carla’s throat, as the story comes to an end.