THE MOON ON SCRABBLE HILL

There was a Maid on Scrabble Hill,

And if not dead, she lives there still.

She grew so tall, she reached the sky,

And on the Moon, hung clothes to dry.

Now that was when the Moon was down,

For Scrabble Hill was out of town,

Where skies were never hot, nor wet,

Nor cold from dawn until sunset.

She’d far outgrown her large abode,

And slept on grass (where travellers rode),

Enjoying each nocturnal dream,

And washed her clothing in the stream.

When word got out: she needed space,

The townsfolk would avoid her place,

Until a lad of five foot three

Did wander out one day to see.

He met the maiden standing tall,

And saw her fetching down her shawl,

Which had by then completely dried

Upon the moon. It looked so wide.

He asked her what she chose to do

For food. She showed how berries grew

To giant size as well, to feed

Her mouth and tummy’s every need.

“But Maiden, do you not recall

The meat you ate, when you were small?”

He asked, “And since I’m made of meat,

Would you think I’d be nice to eat?”

She picked him up and placed him in

Her mouth, and then she did begin

To slide him from the moist pink moat,

To somewhere in her dainty throat.

But then she gave a gentle cough,

And used her skirt to dry him off.

“You would be nice to swallow dry,”

She said, “But might I ask you why?”

“Because you have such friendly eyes,

And I adore your giant size,”

He said, “But since you’d never feel

The same, I’d like to be a meal.”

“But tell me why would you presume,

That I would only have the room

Within my stomach, not my heart,

For you?” she said, like living art.

“Because I’m smaller than your tongue,

And lest I end up simply flung

Away, discarded like old pulp,”

He said, “I’d rather face your gulp.”

“It’s sweet of you to so provide

Yourself, but I would be your bride,”

She said, and so they chose to court,

Since she was such a lovely sort.

With all the world beyond to tour,

The boy decided life was pure

On Scrabble Hill with his tall maid,

And so for all his life, he stayed.

A girl his own size wandered by,

And said, “Since I am not so high,

Perhaps you’d like to leave with me

At night, and then I’ll set you free.”

“But I’m not trapped,” the lad assured

The girl, “I know that I was bored

With any normal girl, until

I found the Maid of Scrabble Hill.

And that is why I kept the gate

Forever closed on any date

I might have had, before I found

Her lips that high above the ground.”

The Maid soon learned that tasty cheese

Made up the moon, and chose to please

Herself, by eating all that grew,

Since it would instantly renew.

Perhaps the cow that made the leap

Got stuck up there, and, on the cheap,

Supplied the moon with dairy-light

For she who had attained such height.

The cheese supply and washing line

Was hers ‘til 1969,

When someone who was called Armstrong

Turned up and brought a flag along.

And so, with husband in her keep,

The Maid then took a mighty leap

From earth to Jupiter, and found

She fit much better on its ground.

So Armstrong found a vacant lot.

The moral is: Should you besot

Yourself with huge hair, slightly curled,

She’ll have you in another world.

DIMENSION OF TRUST

One young scientist soon got to work and managed to invent

A dimensional projector, which would open up the field

Of a thousand brand new places, now, to which he could be sent,

With the spinsters in those realms, when he arrived, at last revealed.

Then he started his projector, stood in front and let it fire.

Unperfected, it reduced his size, and failed to just transmit

Him to somewhere else, where he could seek and court his heart’s desire.

So he went in search of little folk, to make the best of it.

Well he never found some little folk, who probably don’t exist;

But a full sized woman spotted him, and put him in a cage,

As a pet. When he explained the truth, she’d happily persist

With his capture, since his old life was an unconsidered stage.

She would leave him in the sink each day, so he could have a bath,

With no chance to reach the floor and freedom, while she left the room.

The projector’s imperfection had a second aftermath.

It wore off, which liberated him from years of captive gloom.

“That’s alright,” he thought, “I’ll do more work, and this time I will test

The projector on a figurine, until it works for sure.

When it did, he sent himself back into days of suit and vest

And cravats: the past, where he might find a girl who’d lived before.

In a dance hall, he soon met a girl. They caught each other’s eyes.

Then they dated in his past, her present, glad, week after week;

‘Til he learned about her place in history, quite a bad surprise.

She’d begun a rather nasty group, which in his time would peak.

So, mismatched, he fled to present day, and tried a universe,

Which was parallel to his, and met the girl of all his dreams.

Shyness made him quite reluctant to approach her. He’d rehearse

What he’d say; but words would lose the game in oft-defeated teams.

When he finally found the nerve to walk within her line of sight,

She then acted like she knew him, and he asked her for a date.

“Well of course!” she laughed, “We’ve been together, since that lovely night,

When you saved me on the ice and held my hand and helped me skate.”

Then the penny dropped, that she already loved his counterpart;

And he saw that his old problems had their latest parallel,

In the fact that girls he liked were spoken for, before he’d start.

He retreated from the chance to meet his double;- just as well.

Since the past was set in stone and let him down, he would project

To the future, where the chapter of each day was his to write.

But the girl he liked was only all too willing to reject

His old fashioned tastes and interests, with her future world hindsight.

Then he found a world of giants, with its giant kiss appeal;

But the giantess he met would entertain her own ideas,

That, once warmed up in her oven, he would make a tasty meal,

Swallowed whole, not bitten, just to slightly ease his newfound fears.

While still sliding down her throat, he then projected home once more,
And considered all the disappointing efforts he had made.

Then, without the slightest action on his part, the man was thrust

Into romance like he’d never seen in any other realm.