Dean landed headfirst into the strange pink lake, his acceleration halted by its viscosity when he was half buried. He immediately attempted to pull his head in the direction he hoped and prayed was up, to save him from slow suffocation. As he did so, he couldn’t help but notice that the thick lake he was currently trying not to drown in was in fact yogurt, and strawberry flavored.

            As his head breached the surface of the yogurt he gasped as he took in air, simultaneously reaching up to wipe the gooey snack from his eyes. He took in his surroundings, noticing the high white walls that led up into the sky, the seemingly frozen sea of pink yogurt that stretched in all directions, as well as the gargantuan chunks of strawberry that lay like immense icebergs in this unnatural ocean. He couldn’t help but whimper as he noticed a strawberry seed that lay near him, easily the size of city buses, dwarfing him.

            “LEON! LEON, WHERE ARE YOU?” Dean shouted. Having found Leon again against all odds, it was traumatizing to consider the possibility that he may have lost him again, and this time for good. There was also the pressing concern that they were stuck in a yogurt container open on a table where three girls sat, one of them being his arch- enemy, Samantha. Ending up being eaten, unknowingly, by your greatest foe is embarrassing to say the least, and utterly terrifying and mind-numbingly disturbing to say the most. 

            Dean had only a moment to take in his surrounding before a immense white object broke the sky and landed in the pink sea, effectively splitting it in half and consuming his entire field of vision. Dean looked up, up as far as he could as saw the underside of what was likely a thumb, it nail painted a bright and frankly obnoxious pink. Dean found himself oddly feeling a degree of relief that the owner of the yogurt was not Samantha, because if her toes were an indication, she was not wearing pink on her nails. Considering his situation, Dean would take any sort of good news to heart; He knew he was likely screwed either way, and the satisfaction that Samantha wouldn’t be the one to end him was a check in the “plus” column.

            Relief quickly turned to terror as the giant white object, which he now understood to be one of those plastic disposable spoons, began to move almost lazily in a giant rotation. Although it was moving in the opposite direction at the moment, he knew as it made its way to him that he could be buried under tons of yogurt or even scooped up and eaten. Dean began to kick his feet, hoping he could swim to the edge of the container and dodge the spoon. His motion was completely arrested, however, but the viscosity of the liquid. He was stuck fast, completely helpless as the spoon made its way toward him.

            Dean shuddered as the spoon, skyscraper in length, made its way to him. Due to its size, he felt that it was inevitable that it would crash into him as it effortlessly turned the still yogurt into tidal waves of strawberry death. Through pure chance, the spoon turned and hit the wall of the container, using the wall as a guide as it spun around Dean’s current position. He was left, untouched, as it glided through the yogurt behind him.

            It was through this shifting in the pink sea that Dean could finally make out a dark shape sticking out, far in the distance. On the complete other side of the yogurt cup, distinct between a yogurt-scape dotted with strawberry parts, it appeared that Leon was alive and stuck just as much as he. Dean began to wave back, but the spoon, which was still on the move, suddenly tilted and disappeared partially underneath the surface of the yogurt. Nearly faster than he could register, the spoon surfaced, taking with it into the air a generous portion of yogurt as well as the dark shape that was Leon. And just like that, Dean realized, he was alone. 

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            Upon losing sight of Dean whilst be flung through the air, the idea that he was about to crash into a gigantic pink ocean did not do wonders for Leon’s mental stability. While the landing had been surprisingly soft, Leon had the good sense to land feet first, and the viscosity of the pink ocean had arrested his fall so that, although he was buried to his neck at first, he was not submerged completely. Just when he began to prepare himself to move up and out, struggling against the stagnant and thick pink lake, he saw it descend. Tasting the pink substance that was splattered across his face, he knew immediately what it was: A spoon. Help aloft by a giant, pink-nailed hand.

            As the realization dawned on him, that he was stuck in what was likely a yogurt cup about to be enjoyed by an oblivious teenage girl, his mind leaned toward the “flight” part of the flight or flight response. He struggled to move, to get away, but to no avail. The spoon submerged and began to slice through the yogurt, moving away from him. This didn’t calm him, however. One way or another, he knew that the only way out of this cup was on that spoon. As total hopelessness began to descend upon him, he was able to make out a dark shape on the other side of the lake, a figure now between him and the slowly moving white structure that was a spoon of incomprehensible size. It was Dean.

            Unable to move anything other than his arms, he continued to wave. For validation, for a connection to something. For proof that he was alive and this was really happening. Otherwise, this just had to be a horrible dream, right? Just a horrible, disgustingly realistic dream.

            Unfortunately for Leon, this wasn’t a dream. The spoon sped through the yogurt and submerged directly underneath him, and then he felt the tug. The landscape, complete with Leon, began to rise. Leon looked around in despair as the sides of the yogurt cup sped by, the force of the rapid elevation forcing him into the yogurt until he was submerged to his chest. Just as abruptly as the ride began, it stopped, the spoon hovering in mid-air. In the distance, he could finally make out the gargantuan face of the owner of the spoon. Although it took him a moment, as making out facial features on a person larger than he could really comprehend was no easy task, it dawned on Leon that his doom was named “Sara”: a cute blond girl who was one of Samantha’s mindless followers.

            She was talking, but her voice was so loud that he couldn’t make out what she was saying. Whatever it was, it was keeping her from bringing the spoon to her mouth. Working one arm free, and then another, he futilely began to wave his arms, screaming for her to take notice that her yogurt had a human passenger. Her immense blue eyes never once strayed from whomever she was talking to, but finally she stopped talking and slowly, torturously slow, the spoon began to drift toward her gently parting lips. He could only watch in horror as he neared her gaping maw, her lips parting to reveal the tips of pearl white teeth. Finally, his mind snapped, and he began to scream; a long, tortured scream of pure fear, unheard by this girl who innocently began to take a bite of her yogurt. Her hot breath washed over him as the spoon was deposited in her mouth, Leon’s world instantly going dark and wet. He continued to scream as her tongue scraped the yogurt, and Leon, off the spoon, rolling the yogurt around in her mouth as she savored the taste. Leon was close to drowning in the sweet treat when a wave of saliva washed him along the surface of the tongue, back, back into the black, constricting cave that was her throat. He was still screaming as she swallowed.

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            “Oh, god, this stuff is so good. Mom knows how to get the good stuff!” gushed Sara as she ate her first spoonful of her expensive strawberry yogurt. “I’m sorry, I’m being so rude. Would you guys like to try some?” Her expressive eyes bled sincerity as she first offered the cup to Tia, who shook her head no, and then Samantha.

            Samantha paused to consider for a moment. She had missed breakfast, and the way that Sara was talking up this yogurt, it was as if it was the best thing she had ever eaten. It wouldn’t hurt, she thought, to just have a little taste.

            “Well, I guess it won’t hurt to try it. Do you have another spoon?” asked Samantha.

            “Another…oh, yeah, sure, for sure.” Stuttered Sara as she searched through her purse for another small plastic spoon. Finding one, she handed over the yogurt container and spoon to Samantha. Immediately, she began to talk to Tia about the college they were both attending, but Samantha wasn’t listening. She took a moment to consider the yogurt, looking down into the cup, mindlessly stirring the yogurt. She felt a strange feeling come over her, as if she had been infected with the same excitement for the yogurt that Sara was embarrassingly exhibiting earlier. Biting her lip, she gave in to the feeling, taking a generous scoop of the yogurt. For a second she considered the yogurt, the generous chunks of strawberry, the numerous black seeds. For reasons she didn’t understand, she thought then of Dean, of their academic and social competition, and all the worry of not measuring up, of not achieving victory over her opponent, and she smiled. She knew then, in that moment and with certainty that she would come out on top. He just didn’t know it yet. She let this comforting thought roll over her as she slowly took a bite of the yogurt.

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            After Leon had been scooped up, Dean screamed his friends name, over and over. He knew that he was gone, eaten unknowingly by some innocent girl, likely Sara. What a horrible way to go, how terrified he must have been…For a moment, Dean was able to focus on something then his own terror, it having disappeared in the wake of the loss of such a good friend. He treaded yogurt, weeping, totally unaware that his fate had at that moment been traded away.

He was shocked out of his lament by the sudden movement of his world. His container was moving, and he rocked back in forth, generally kept in place by the thick yogurt. He came to a stop then, and looked up, only to see then the last image he wanted to see in his predicament: the completely ignorant and inherently sinister visage of his nemesis, Samantha. She took up the entire sky, her straight black hair framing her perfectly proportioned face, those icy blue eyes staring straight at him but not seeing him at all.

It was then that the spoon broke the sky, coming down straight for him. His fight or flight impulse kicked in then, dials stuck on blind panic as he ineffectually swam against a still current of strawberry. The spoon crashed into the other side of the yogurt, and began it slow rotation. What, it’s not stirred enough? Really? Come on! The spoon knifed through the yogurt behind him, moving him in his sweet prison closer to the center of the cup. The stirring continued, with Dean stuck in the center, unable to escape. Inevitably, it broke the surface, much in the same way it had with Leon, like some gigantic shark, and settled underneath him. Then it began to rise.

Dean struggled, he knew if it were the last thing he did, he would fight. Caught in the center of the captured yogurt on the spoon, he knew that he couldn’t fight to make it to the side, or even find a way to make it from the spoon to her lips, in a desperate gamble to make her notice. The spoon arrested in midair, and he looked up to see her gazing down on him, seemingly studying the spoon and its contents. He waved his arms desperately, he knew his only chance would be for her to see him.

“SAMANTHA! YOU ARE LOOKING RIGHT AT ME! RIGHT HERE! DON’T DO THIS, PLEASE! SAMANTHA! DON’T EAT ME!” Dean screamed for his life.

And her expression did change; but not into a look of recognition, or horror, or even confusion. She smiled. She looked at him, and smiled.

The spoon shuddered and slowly began to move toward her face. Her beautiful face grew so large that he couldn’t take it all in, and his eyes were focused on the gradually opening mouth. Her tongue extended slightly, eager to take in the morsel, Dean and all. He could make out every crevice, every wrinkle in her lips; he could fit in the smallest of them. Her mouth had opened up into a black, moist cavern as expansive as outer space. The spoon broke the plane of her lips, settling on the tongue. As her mouth closed on the spoon, her tongue eager to taste yogurt, Dean screamed one last time, one final hurrah, the final chapter in his competition with Samantha.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUU-“

Her mouth closed, her tongue and saliva washing away her greatest rival.

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“Mmm. You were right, Sara, this was really good.” Purred Samantha as she handed back the yogurt cup, rubbing her belly absentmindedly.

Epilogue

            The Girl with the Garnet Ring looked in through the glass walls of study hall as the three giggling girls sat at the table and enjoyed their snack. Her green eyes, burning with an inhuman fire, shone with victory. It was her favorite thing, she admitted, watching men get dispatched in horrific ways by the women they have wronged. It was her…specialty, this sort of lopsided justice. As she shed the identity of Anna, gradually disappearing into the shadows of the dimly lit corner of the school hallway, she smiled. She had so much more to do…