The Professor knew something was off about the plate of cookies. It was out in the open, for one, sitting on a stand placed very conspicuously outside the Oasis HQ. A piece of paper taped to the stand read “Eat me!” in big bold letters, facing the entrance. The plate looked untouched, as if it had been placed there just before he left the building—placed so that he would be the first to see it. The setup would have been suspicious even at the bet of times, but today, on April Fools' Day, there could be no doubt that this was someone's attempt at a prank. Even if it weren't for his long experience with a number of prankster Dolls, he still would have known better than to eat one of those, and that was before he caught the faint, strange aroma mixed in with the smell of chocolate chips and cookie dough.

He did consider trying a morsel, just out of curiosity and he picked one up to weigh it, but the memory of that chili powder-filled cookie he'd been tricked into eating last year stung his memory, and his tongue. Better to let someone else be the fool this time, he thought, and was putting the cookie back when a sing-song voice called out, “What do you have there, Professor?” The next thing he knew, Florence's face appeared at his shoulder and her hands fell around his arms.

The Professor masked his surprise and calmly put the cookie back. “Someone's idea for a prank, I'm assuming.”

Florence sidled around to his side, all smiles and laughter as usual. She had foregone her nurse's outfit today, wearing something more casual instead—a frilly black miniskirt and a light white jacket, skillfully unzipped so that someone in his position might look down and see how little she wore beneath it. “You really think so? That's awfully suspicious of you, Professor. Even if it is a prank, wouldn't it be in the spirit of the holiday for you to try one of them? After all, what's the worst that could happen?” “Quite a lot, I think, particularly if you're the one behind this.”

“Are you accusing me of something, Professor? Ah, and here I thought you were beginning to trust me finally.”

“I do trust you, Florence. You do good work around here. But I mean to avoid getting pranked today, by you or by anyone else.”

Florence giggled. “You flatter me, Professor~. But I see you still need convincing. That's fine. I'll just eat one of those cookies myself so you can see there's nothing wrong with them. Let's see... Ah! Here's a lovely one!” She picked out a cookie partly hidden under the top layer, one with thick chocolate chunks, and bit into it. “Mmmmm,” she muttered, closing her eyes while she savored it. Light, feathery sighs, almost suggestive in nature, escaped her while she chewed, and a smile decorated her lips. She swallowed the first bite, then pushed the rest of the cookie in after it, and licked her lips afterwards. When she looked at the Professor, her eyes seemed even more than usual to be shining with some secret knowledge, some joke he wasn't in on. “Satisfied?” She picked out another cookie, the same one he'd set down. “Why don't you try one, Professor? They're very good.” “Thank you, but no.” The Professor held up a hand to rebuff her offer. There was still no change in her, at least that he could see, but the effects of Florence's drugs could take a while to manifest, or they could have effects not visible at a glance. Besides, if these cookies really were her doing, she could have taken an antidote beforehand.

“Hmph! What a spoilsport you are, Professor! But I suppose you wouldn't be yourself if you could be tricked so easily. It's a good thing I had a plan B.” Plan B? The Professor was about to ask her about it, when he suddenly noticed that he was no longer looking down at Florence. Normally a few inches shorter than him, her eyes were now level with his, and before he new it, he was looking up at her.

Florence's growth picked up speed as soon as he noticed it, pushing the white-haired Doll up to twice his height and beyond. Her black thigh-high stockings soon equaled him in length, and just as soon surpassed him. When her growth finally slowed and stopped, it was her black platform boots which stood of a height with him while Florence herself reached some 50 feet tall. “Now then, what'll it be? Will you cooperate and eat your cookies, Professor? Or will I have to feed them to you?” The Professor had been backing away ever since her height surpassed his, and now he turned and bolted down the street. Somehow, he didn't think whatever cookie Florence tried to feed him would have the same effect as the one she ate.

Florence laughed. “Wonderful, Professor, wonderful! You know how I love when you play hard to get. Run fast now, ma petit souris! Let's see you try to escape this hunter!” The giant Doll sashayed after the Professor, following with catlike grace. Even her more than casual pace his sprint, her the toes of her boots coming down mere yards behind the Professor every two seconds. She could have easily caught up to him anytime she pleased, but clearly she thought it a waste to end the chase so soon. At least it gave him a chance to escape her clutches. He probably couldn't just simply run into a building without her stopping him, but with a bit of planning he might be able to shake her off before she realized what was happening. Already he was starting to formulate a plan, at least until he rounded the corner and saw the scene playing out in the little plaza ahead of him. If those were the effects of Florence's other cookies, he definitely didn't want to have anything to do with them.

-----

Angela and Helix ground to a halt as soon as they saw the Professor and Florence coming towards them and ducked into one of the shops until the giant Doll had passed them by. “Miss Angela? What was that about?” asked Helix.

“It seemed the Professor was running from her.”

“Should we help him?”

Angela shook her head. “I'm sure the Professor can take care of himself. From what you told me, it sounds like there's other people who need me more right now. Lead the way, Helix. We're almost there, right?” she asked the blue-haired Doll—normally blue-haired, at any rate. Currently it was a brilliant green, as was the rest of Helix, body and clothes alike. Not paint, she said, but the effect of a cookie she'd eaten.

“Yes, Miss Angela! Right this way!” Helix stepped out and quickly moved towards the plaza that Florence and the Professor had come out of.

When they reached it, the first thing that caught Angela's eye was Dushevnaya. The wolf-eared young Doll sat in the middle of the plaza, but even sitting she was over two stories tall. Standing, she might have been close to Florence's size. Her fingers held Bonee's hands, but instead of dangling from them, the smaller Doll seemed on the verge of flying away. Bonee swayed like a balloon over Dushevnaya's hand, kicking her legs in the air. Taisch and Betty lay close by, the former sound asleep from the look of it, the latter still as a statue with eyes wide open and her body posed as though she were standing.

“This is all from those cookies you mentioned?” Angela said. Helix had told her something of this, but she'd spoken in such a hurry that Angela hardly understood what was said.

Helix nodded, and started wringing her hands. “I-I tried to fix them, but my analyzer said there was nothing wrong with their data. Miss Angela, what should we do?” Angela spatted Helix's head to calm her down. “Thank you for getting me, Helix. Go see to Betty and Taisch for now, I'll see what can be done about Dushy and Bonee.” Helix's eyes quivered for a moment, then grew firm with determination. She nodded and went to the others. Angela approached Dushevnaya, and after making sure she was holding Bonee firmly, she asked about what had happened. Dushevnaya repeated Helix's story much more clearly, explaining how Max had show up with a plate of cookies to share with them, and how these effects had started to manifest soon after they'd each eaten one. When Angela asked what happened to Max, Dushevnaya reached into her pocket and pulled her out.

Max was the size of a doll now, as tall as Angela's hand was long, and barely the size of Dushevnaya's fingertip, yet she sounded no less spirited than usual.

“Dushevnaya, you big dummy! Who said you could stuff me in there? Just because you're bigger than me that doesn't give you the right to treat me like this! You'd better apologize to me right now, or else–” “Ahem!” That was all Angela needed to cut Max's rant short. “Max, would you mind explaining to me why you gave everyone these cookies?” Her voice wasn't any harder than usual, but her frown still made the shrunken doll shiver. It took a lot to make Angela mad, and a frown from her was as bad as a shout from anyone else.

“It wasn't me, I swear! Someone gave them to me! I didn't know what they'd do!”

“Who gave them to you, exactly?”

“It was Chelsea! She...” Max paused when she saw that Angela, Helix, Dushevnaya, and even Bonee were looking at her like she'd gone insane.

“Really, Max? From Chelsea?” said Dushevnaya.

“Max, did you forget what day it is? You should know better than to take anything Chelsea gives you on April Fools.”

“I know that! It just... slipped my mind!”

Angela shook her head. “Dushy, put her away for now. She'll be safer with you at that size.” Max complained, but soon she was back in the giant pocket, almost silenced behind all that cloth. Now all that was left to do was to pick Betty and Taisch off the ground and and put Bonee somewhere indoors so she wouldn't float away. It wasn't quite as bad as Helix had made it sound, just minor inconveniences for the most part. Still, as Angela helped put things in order, she reminded herself to have a word with Chelsea afterwards about in appropriate pranking targets.  A half hour with her should be enough to make that girl see reason, and surely no one would think she was going too far with it.

-----

“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I can't believe you actually fell for that!” Chelsea double over laughing at the little Chanzhi on the floor outside the dorms. The shrunken Doll looked so terribly lost at her eight inches tall, staring at Chelsea like she had no clue what had happened. Even when she pieced together that this was all because of that cookie she'd so innocently accepted, the angry pout on her little face just made Chelsea laugh even harder.

“Stop it! This isn't funny! And please change me back right away! It can't be safe for me to be so small.”

Slowly Chelsea's laughter faded to snickers. “Relax! Florence made these perfectly safe to use. Your body's way denser now, so almost nothing can hurt you.” Her boot suddenly rushed forward, bumping Chanzhi's chest and sending her sprawling on the floor, where that same boot pinned her down.

“H-hey! Isn't this a bit too much!?” Chanzhi cried out.

“I'm just showing you that there's no danger! See? You're perfectly fine, so it's okay if I leave you like this until it wears off, right? And since you don't really need this cookie baked with Florence's growth drug, I might as well eat it myself~.” Chelsea took out a cookie from a small paper bag, showing it off to Chanzhi.

“No, wait! Give it to me, please!” The tiny Doll strained to push Chelsea's foot off of her, but she hadn't been strong even at her normal size, and shrunken at this size she couldn't even budge it.

“Are you suuure you want it~? You don't sound very convincing~.” Chelsea brought the cookie up to her mouth, resting it on her lower lip.

“Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeaaase let me have the cookie! I don't want to be this small anymore!”

“Heh! Alright, you convinced me! Here, you can have it.” Chelsea lifted her foot off Chanzhi and dropped the cookie in front of her. At once Chanzhi broke off a chunk from the top and started eating, scarfing it down as fast as possible. “Whoa, slow down there! You'll choke on your food if you eat so fast!” After eating a few mouthfuls of cookie, Chanzhi waited to see what would happen. Soon she started tingling all over as it started to take effect. But instead of growing back, she started shrinking again, getting smaller and smaller and smaller.

“Oops~! I must have given you a second shrinking cookie by mistake. My bad! Unfortunately, that's the only cookie I have. Guess you'll have to stay that size a while longer.” Chelsea said as her victim dwindled away to the size of a mouse and still smaller. Chanzhi was down to an inch tall when Chelsea crouched to pick up the cookie. The sight of those giant fingers left her frozen, and she watched in awe how easily they picked up the cookie now many times her size, wiping its bottom side clean and tucking it back into the bag. When those fingers came for her, she screamed and tried to run away, only to end up in Chelsea's hand all the same, all wrapped up in her black firefighting gloves. “Trying to run off somewhere~? Sorry, I can't let you do that. What if someone dangerous runs into you now? Even if you're more resistant, they could still do all sorts of nasty stuff to you. Better to stay with someone you know you can trust, don't you think? And I have just the perfect place for you.” Chelsea pulled down the zipper of her fire thick fire suit and slipped Chanzhi inside, right into her shirt pocket. She patted her chest when she felt the tiny Doll moving around inside, then zipped her suit up and left.

She'd only been walking for a minute when a strange sight met her eyes—a creature that looked almost like a sea monster, with horns, tentacles, and two big hand-like flippers, all painted in bright neon pink, yellow, and cyan. It was big and round like a barrel, taller than any Doll, and certainly taller than the one it carried.

Kuro lay immobile in its flippers, smiling into the phone she still held over her face. She had been streaming herself eating some of those mysterious cookies she had found when suddenly she had frozen up like this. The neon monstrosity had shown up not long afterwards and picked her up, despite her faint protestations.

The monster adjusted its grip on Kuro, slinging her over its shoulder. That's when she saw Chelsea on the side of the street, and tried calling for her aid. She couldn't form words as she was, but the tone of her grunts was enough to communicate her intent.

Chelsea grinned as they passed her by. “Looks like Puzzle's having fun with our prank,” she thought, and went whistling on her way while behind her Kuro's grunts turned furious and indignant.

Kuro's viewers were no more empathetic to her than Chelsea had been. Her chat was still up on the phone screen, and with her eyes locked on it, she could see every joke they made at her expense. Forced to read every chat message and yet totally unable to respond; it was like being in hell.

The Toad Idol carried her through a few more streets, proceeding undisturbed by the thudding steps of Florence passing nearby, and soon arrived with Kuro to the place where Puzzle was setting up a new art installation. “Got a new one already? Oh, Miss Kuro! What a nice surprise to see you here! Well? Aren't you going to say hello? No? Won't even look at me while I'm talking to you? How rude! Got your eyes glued to the screen as always, I see. He-he-he! Well, if you won't talk to me, I won't talk to you either. You, put her down over here.” Puzzle led her Toad Idol to her art installation, ignoring Kuro's grunts as it put down their new acquisition right between Nora and Horizon in the foremost of three concentric semicircles all made up of frozen Dolls and agents, joining her voice to their chaotic chorus of grunts.

-----

“Miss Luna? What do your runes say? Do you understand their message?”

“They say...” Luna frowned at the rune stones she had arrayed on the table, trying to puzzle out their meaning. Fortune telling was a subtle art, and the runes she pulled, though simple in appearance, could each have a whole sea of meanings depending on the questions being asked. It took a deep intuition to really understand what the stones were trying to tell. Luna had lost some of that intuition after the Wipeoff incident, when her neural fragments were scattered across Magrasea, but even now she could usually interpret the stones in a way that at least seemed plausible. Right now, though? However much she turned them over in her head, the only thing she could come up with was...

“Red.”

“Red?” the agent sitting across the table repeated.

“Your day will be very... red.”

“Um... What does that mean, exactly?”

A very good question, and one Luna had hoped he wouldn't ask. “Well, the color red is a symbol for many things—conflict, passion, strength, virility. You'll find today filled with a very red energy for you.” Her answer didn't satisfy either of them, and her client went way still looking confused about the whole affair. It wasn't the first time today her divination had gotten such a reaction, and it wouldn't be the last time either. Her readings had been strange and confused ever since she opened up shop this morning. Whether she used her cards or runes or a pendulum or any other method, when it came time to interpret the results, her intuition only gave her the most bizarre answers. What did it mean that someone should be wary of “floating away”, or that another would be “dodging footsteps”? When she finished her readings for the day around noon, she hadn't made a single prediction she felt confident in.

Luna was still fretting over it while walking around the Oasis afterwards, so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the agent ahead until he called out. “Hey, Miss Luna! Up here!” She stopped in her tracks and looked ahead, then up at the signboard of the store she was walking by. He was hanging on to the bottom of the sign, legs dangling in the air above him, seemingly on the verge of floating off.

“Eh!? What happened to you!? You're... floating away?”

The agent chuckled and nodded. “Looks like your warning was correct, Miss Luna. I was thinking about what it could mean when I suddenly became weightless. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't have been prepared when it happened.” Her warning? That's right, she remembered this agent; he had been one of her clients this morning. “Hang on, I'm going to bring something to get you down!” She ran into the store and came back with a mop, holding it up for the agent to grab on to. She pulled him down and took him inside, where he sat down—sat up?—on the ceiling to wait for this to wear off.

That was only the first surprise Luna would find in the Oasis today. A short while later she came across another agent who had seen her that morning. He wasn't floating, but he was red all over. He took it in good humor, though, and praised her for the successful divination. A third one was being carted off by a pair of Puzzle's flying statues, and a fourth had growth giant. Not everyone affected had been her client, but many of them were, including a tiny Jiangyu she almost stepped on while distracted by some Dolls who were slowly floating back down to earth. “Oh, sorry!” she quickly said with a smile before going on her way. She probably should have been more concerned about what was happening, but she was just so glad. Her divinations weren't pure nonsense after all! Maybe she was slowly learning how to tell fortunes even without her modules fully restored. Hopefully one day she'd once again have her skills back.

-----

Ksenia didn't notice the commotion outside until the first customers came running in, leaving their open air tables for the ones inside the restaurant. “Miss, could we trouble you to fetch our food for us?” some said, while others came in already carrying their plates, and still others came in empty-handed and looking nervously over their shoulders, even eyeing the ceiling as if appraising whether it would protect them.

Ksenia said a few words to try to set them all at ease before hurrying outside to see what had happened, but all she saw there was Millau standing in place with a plate of cookies in hand, chewing thoughtfully on one of them. She swallowed when Ksenia approached, and spoke to the voice recorder tucked into pocket.

“The texture is suitably firm, the taste a bit too sweet. The cocoa is high quality, but the dough too bland. And that other taste... No, I still can't get a handle on it. What is it? Ah, Ksenia! Perfect timing! Kindly bring me some mineral water, if you would. Sparkling, to cleanse the palate. I'll tip you handsomely, of course.” A tip? “Right away!” Ksenia said. She had almost gone back inside before she turned heel and marched back to Millau. “Say, do you know what scared all the other customers into going inside?” “Customers?” Millau looked around in surprise. “That's odd. I didn't even notice them leave. Can't say I know what scared them.”

Ksenia frowned. It wasn't that she thought Millau was lying, but it didn't make sense that she could have ignored something big enough to scare all those people.

She scanned the tables, and the food that had been left on them, but there was no clue there either. She turned to Millau again, and blinked. “I'm sorry but, have you always been this tall?” From what she remembered, Millau had been only a couple inches taller than her, not the several she was now.

“Hmm? No, I don't believe so. It must be an effect of the cookies,” she said nonchalantly.

“The cookies? What do you m– AAAH!” Ksenia stepped back as Millau suddenly expanded in size, up to several stories tall, standing utterly unfazed by her transformation.

“There it is! And now for the other kind.” Scrutinizing the plate of cookies she still held delicately between her fingers, she carefully picked out one of them and placed it on her tongue, closing her eyes to savor it.

“Wh– Wha–” Ksenia struggled to find her voice. “Millau, what is going on here!?”

“Ah, I'm sorry, didn't I mention? I found this plate of cookies set up on a stand outside and tried them. They seem to have this strange effect on me, but what intrigues me is the flavor of whatever ingredients are causing this. Don't worry, this other one will have me to normal in a jiffy.” Cookies that cause people to grow? Ksenia thought she'd been prepared for April Fools pranks this year, but not for anything like this. At least Millau still seemed as amicable as ever; that would make saying what she had to a bit less scary. “Millau, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to take this somewhere else so you'll stop scaring the customers.” “Really? Ah, that's such a shame. I was thinking of eating here as soon as I had finished this plate, and I was prepared to tip for it too. Actually, I think I might order at these larger sizes; it would be an interesting experience, at the very least. Besides, I've been meaning to try the food at this place, and if I'm this big I could surely have one of everything without growing full. But if you say I should leave...” “Of course not! I only meant you'd have to leave if you weren't ordering anything. One of everything, you said? Coming right up! You just sit down anywhere you like and holler if you need anything!” Ksenia gathered some of the other customers' food and headed inside, walking with a bounce in her step. If Millau meant to eat even half of what she implied, why, she had every right to chase everyone else away.

When she went back with a bottle of mineral water, Millau was back to her normal size, or close to it—she was a foot taller than when Ksenia first saw her, which had already been a bit taller than she usually was. It seemed the growth cookie was a bit more potent that the shrinking one, which was all fine and dandy so far as she was concerned! Anything to aid the customer's hunger.

Ksenia stayed a while to confirm Millau's order, but their exchange was interrupted by a sudden explosion of creamy whites and browns not far from where they stood. Soon the restaurant, the plaza, and indeed the surrounding blocks were all shrouded by a huge chocolatey-brown fabric, while from above came a voice familiar to them both.

As Choco's growth came to a halt, the massive Doll found herself towering over the whole of the Oasis, even sitting down as she was. Countless buildings groaned under her weight, but remained miraculously intact. Her size had grown far more than her mass, and like a bed of nails the buildings could support her without harm to either of them.

“Ehhhhh!? What happened!? How did I get so big!?” she exclaimed, her voice booming down on every Doll and agent in the Oasis.

“Choco!” a voice called out, and the colossus searched her surroundings for it. “Down here, between your feet!” Choco peered down at her brown boots, between which she found a tiny thing waving at her. She had to squint to identify it as Dushevnaya. The wolf-eared girl stood several times taller than normal, but still she was only an ant to Choco; the people standing around her were more like dust mites, and practically indistinguishable from each other. “You ate Florence's cookies too, didn't you?” “Florence's?” Choco had eaten a few cookies, sure. They had been right outside her chocolate shop in a little box. They had smelled so good, she just couldn't resist the urge to chow down. But if Dushy had eaten them too, then why was Choco so much bigger than her and those other giant Dolls down there? She had only eaten a few cookies. Not more than a dozen, she was sure; there hadn't been any more than that in the box.

But hold on, wasn't that Florence right down there? Yes, it was! A giant Florence chasing after some poor little thing Choco couldn't make out.

The Professor ran like a mad hare away from his pursuer, hands cupped around his mouth as he called to Choco for help. His careful planning had come to nothing, easily thwarted by Florence at every turn. She had been toying with him the entire time, making him feel a fool for ever thinking he could outsmart that sly hunter. Only Choco's appearance had finally given him the chance to turn things around. But Florence still wasn't giving up. She kept pace and made swipes at him every so often, swipes he only narrowly dodged. Even Choco's sudden size explosion hadn't fazed her, nor did the vast shadow spreading over them as Choco's hand approached, thumb and forefinger poised to pick her up. Still, it did signal to her that playtime was over, and finally she pounced on the Professor and snatched him into her hands, moments before she herself was snatched up by Choco, vast fingertips closing around everything but her head.

She was still smiling as those massive fingertips held her up to Choco's glaring eyes. “Well, hello, Choco! I see you got my gift! Did you like it?” “The cookies were great! They could have used less sugar, though. But that's not what I wanted to talk about! Florence, is there a way to put me back to normal?” “Hmm! Nope, sorry. I'm afraid you'll just have to stay this size until it wears off. Shouldn't be a problem, I think. Now, if that's everything, could you kindly put me back down? I have a date with someone and I wouldn't want to be late.” A thousand voices down below cried out against Florence.

“I don't think I should do that,” Choco said.

“Oh? Then are you going to punish me~? It should be easy for you at that size~. Don't be shy now, I'm sure you can think of something I deserve for my crimes~.” Florence winked, and Choco blushed. “Um... I think I'll put you away until the Professor says what to do with you. That way you can't cause any more trouble. This place should be good enough, so... you just think about what you did, okay?” Choco dropped the troublesome Doll into her pocket, patting it down afterwards.

As she settled in the bottom of the cloth prison, Florence pulled the Professor out from under her jacket, rubbing her thumb over his little chest. “Well, Professor, it seems fate decided you and I should be left alone together. And don't think I'll let you keep running from me, not when I've got you right where I want you~.” The Professor smiled nervously, and tried to talk Florence down. Not that he expected her to hold back because of anything he said, but with any luck he might delay her long enough for that growth drug to wear off. As he would find out, though, the drug still had a long time to go, more than enough for Florence to do everything she wanted and make this his most memorable April Fools' Day yet.