Joseph awoke startled. He heard someone coming down the stairs. Brushing patches of fluffy dust balls off of him, he scurried out from underneath the coffee table. He noticed Sarah was coming down the stairs. A glimmer of hope rose in his chest. “Did she understand me over the phone?” He thought.
The look in her eyes told a different story. She glared evilly at the sleeping Rachel and walked into the kitchen. She didn’t even look down at the ground.
Joseph knew that he had to do something. He couldn’t hide under this coffee table forever, waiting for someone to come along with a vacuum and put him out of his misery. Eventually, he’d have to venture farther into the sorority house in order to be saved.
His mind made up he took his first steps out of the shadows of the coffee table. His head was feeling better after his nap. The wave of nausea had passed. He was ready to begin his adventure.
His eyes were focused on the kitchen and the sound of the two girl’s chatting. After much frustration with the nylon forest, he finally made it onto the cool linoleum of the kitchen. The tiling felt like ice on his tiny feet. It expanded outward like a massive desert. Instead of mountains framed in the distance, there were cabinets.
Cautiously, he crossed the large expanse of area. Joseph felt extremely vulnerable in such a large area. Hugging the walls underneath the cabinets were many clusters of dust and old spider webs. The webs gyrated in a taunting manner at the slightest movement of air. Joseph thought for the first time of dangers other than monolithic crushing giants.
Bugs.
They were obnoxious at his normal height. They would be monsters from another planet at an inch tall. Joseph recalled viewing many insects through microscopes during his early years of high school biology. Magnified 40 times they were barbaric looking creatures with coarse hair, terrifying saucer-like eyes and crushing mandibles. The ways in which they destroyed their enemy were no less frightening.
Joseph did not see any potential threat from insects as he scoped out his surroundings. There were only the remnants of old spider webs, coated in dirt, tattered and wispy.. He could only hope that the girls did a good job of keeping bugs out of their house. His very life may depend upon it.
After a fifteen minute hike, Joseph made his way to the table where the girls were seated, eating their breakfast. Feeling spry, he ventured under the table as he thought about his next plan of action. He knew he wanted to get up to eye level with the girls somehow. But that seemed like an impossibility. Climbing up their clothes would be like climbing a 300 foot vertical cliff.
Joseph edged towards Sarah’s pajama bottoms. Neither of the girls really seemed to move their feet around, but still, Joseph knew the potential danger in getting close to something so much larger than him. One quick movement and he could be crushed instantly.
As he neared Sarah’s toes, he couldn’t help but notice the smell. It was not unpleasant. Sarah always took good care of herself, it came as no surprise that her feet smelled like lotion. Her unpainted toenails towered above him, just getting on her foot would be a bit of a process.
He thought for a moment about tickling Sarah’s feet to get her attention. Joseph decided against any action that could cause any sudden movement.
Moving towards the ball  of her right foot, Joseph made a discovery. He could make out the stitching pattern in Sarah’s pajamas. He made a noise similar to a yelp of excitement. He firmly planted his hands on lattice work of thread. Joseph climbed up Sarah’s pant leg like it was a rope ladder.
A few short minutes later, and he was on her knee cap. He was ecstatic about how easy it was. He was not comfortable being up so high. He quickly made his way toward Sarah’s torso.
Coming out from under the shade of the table top, Joseph was stopped in his tracks. There, before him, was Sarah in all her beauty. The sun beamed on her face, turning her hair a golden brown as it cascaded down her shoulders.
Sarah breathed deeply. Joseph watched in awe as her chest rose and fell. The sound of air rushing in and out of her mouth and lungs captivated Joseph. He took note of the two girl‘s conversation for the first time.
“I know… I just don’t…. I don’t want to be hung up, ya know?” Sarah said.
Joseph could hear Lisa’s voice come from the other side of the table, “I know what you mean, but who said he wants anything serious?’
Joseph was staring up into Sarah’s eyes. “are they… talking about me?”
Sarah had been looking down at her cereal, almost directly at Joseph. She did not see him as she lifted her head up to reply to her friend, “You know as well as I do nothing between me and Jo could ever be anything but serious.”
Joseph nearly fell over from shock. They were talking about him.
“You guys are both stupid.” Jo heard Lisa’s voice again.
Joseph stood there, right on Sarah’s lap, unable to believe what he just heard. Memories of last night came flooding back. He remembered Sarah walking in on him and Rachel in the bathroom.
“Ah, fuck!” Joseph cursed aloud. “Goddamn you, Rachel! I’m such an idiot.”
He sat down, feeling a bit defeated and very depressed. “Is this some kind of karma?” he said aloud, questioning his pintsized fate.
Breathing a heavy sigh, his eyes focused again on Sarah’s torso. He knew what he had to do. “If I make it out of this alive, I’m gonna find a way to make you mine again.”
Standing up with purpose, Joseph made his way to Sarah’s torso. Her pajama’s waist band hugged her curvaceous hips tightly. The lattice work of her top was much more tightly wound, making it harder to get a hold and climb. Just as he began to make progress, Sarah stood up.
“All done, do you want some help cleaning up, Lisa?”
Joseph froze in fear as his feet lost their hold. His fists clenched tightly onto Sarah’s top as he dangled precariously. Gingerly, he dared to look down. The linoleum was a dizzying 150 foot fall. Joseph yelped a bit as he frantically tried to get a hold with his feet again.
His feet found their footing. Looking up, Joseph had no idea where he was going to climb to. Sarah‘s boobs jutted away from her body, blocking his way any farther past her chest. “Atleast you’re skinny, Sarah.” Joseph remarked on Sarah’s flat stomach.