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The following are excerpts from newspapers, press releases, and radio.

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Press Release from the Secretary of Health on the new strain of the Flu Virus
June 4th, 3:00pm
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“…and again, I would like to stress that this new strain of the Flu is simply that--the Flu. These claims of death or ‘evaporation’ are completely false. There is no vaccine at the time, but one is being developed. I would like to stress again, this is just the Flu. We get it every year, it’s nothing to be afraid of, ladies and gentlemen. A vaccine should be out by the end of the week…”

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Radio Broadcast on WOAI 1200
June 4th, 7:00pm
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“People have been issuing all kinds of reports to the police station, missing persons reports claiming they witnessed their friends disappear right out of their clothes. Nuts or what? Give us a call at 1-356-WOAI. Bob Parr, you’re on the air. What do you think?”

“These people aren’t disappearing, they’re just fallen into their clothes, man. My buddy Frank, here, happened to him man. We’re freakin’ out!”

“Freaking out as in rocking the gonge?

“No, man, freakin’ out as in panicking, man! We don’t know what the hell is going on!”

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Press Release from the Secretary of State covering a speech to be given by the President
June 5th 8:00am
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“…The President is simply addressing the nation because of the panic in the streets, not because there is something to worry about. This is just a bad strain of the flu, possibly making people a little delirious. And these rumors that the President isn’t going to be broadcasting from the White House and instead from an underground bunker made up to look like the White House are completely absurd, and I don’t know where they originated from, but you can rest assured…”

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News Broadcast from CNN
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“We have with us tonight a Dr. Gregoire who works down in South Texas. He’s here to talk to us today about this new Flu Virus. Doctor?”

[Coughs from off-screen]

“As has been stated before, sir, this is simply another strain of the flu. A vaccine is in the works, and I am making it my personal responsibility to create one. This virus shouldn’t be too hard to crack. In the meantime I suggest you--”

[Coughing from the newscaster]

“I suggest you drink plenty of liquids and get plenty of rest. You have nothing to worry about, I assure you.”

“Thank you, Doctor. And in other news, the missing persons reports have skyrocketed in the last three days, nobody knows why. We’ll be taking calls if anyone would like to offer an explanation, but first, the weather.”

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Excerpt from the Presidential Address to the Nation on the Flu Virus
June 7th, 9:00pm
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“Now these rumors are an outright falsity and should be treated as such with utter disregarditude. This is just the flu, and not a disease of mysterious origin. We know where this came from. It’s a strain of the Russian A Flu. It came from Russia. If this is anything more than the Flu, I’ll guarantee you that it’s those terrorists at work, and you and I both know they could never come up with something like this. It’s just the flu. Anything stating otherwise is an outright falsity, and I would again like to stress…”

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The media was like this for the next few days. The government did a very nice job of covering everything up for a while. Eventually it came to holding the media at gunpoint and forcing them to read scripted documents. Here is an excerpt from one of the few people willing to tell the truth:

“And so, in other news--NOW!”

[Gunshots from off-screen]

“Holy shit!” [Newscaster ducks under his desk as bullets spray the area.]

[Screams from off-screen followed by four thuds and silence.]

[Newscaster pops back up from under his desk.] “Ladies and gentlemen, since the 5th of June, we have been broadcasting the news with the Armed Forces in our newsroom. I have been held at gunpoint and forced to read the scripts handed to me by these armed soldiers, in violation of the constitutional right to freedom of the press. We have just now staged a coup to regain control of the broadcasting floor of the newsroom. We have accepted the consequences of our decision, well aware we will most likely be shot for treason. We do this for the good of the people, damn it, and if anyone should be shot for treason it should be the leaders who allowed this to happen! Here is the truth about what is going on.

“There is no vaccine, the government has been lying to you. There never was one, and I truly doubt there ever will be one. And this is not the Flu--well, not just the Flu anyway. We have with us today a Doctor. Khroenen to explain to us more about this strange virus, right out of the pages of science fiction.”

[Newscaster reaches into his pocket and pulls out Dr. Khroenen, placing him on his desk.]

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a special effect. Dr. Khroenen has fallen victim to this unprecedented virus. Dr. Khroenen, please tell the people what you know.”

“This virus was cooked up during the Cold War as a nasty surprise for the Soviets. With the end of the Cold War, no disposal method was decided safe enough for this highly communicable disease. It was locked away in an unlabeled room and was eventually leaked somehow or another. It mutated in this room somehow, we do not know how.

(It mutated twice, actually. Once when it was exposed to the other viruses while Stu fought the cat, and Once when it got into the outside world and mixed itself with the Flu Virus. -- FB)

“But during the mutation process, 3 separate, but similar, viruses were formed. Type 1, the rarest and the one which I have contracted, feels like the Flu. Signs of Type 1 include rapid weight loss, nausea, general aches and pains, stinging while urinating, swelling of the glands, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. The end result is what you see here, in the time it takes your body to rid you of the Flu, you shrink to a height of roughly 8 inches or so, depending on your initial height. Other than the diminutive size, there appear to be no long lasting side effects.

“Types 2 and 3 of the disease are much more sickening I’m afraid. Type 1 merged with the Flu Virus ever so slightly, but not to a degree where you’re very sick at all. Type 2 merged with the Flu and the Common Cold in a very bad way. As you shrink, you will die from one of two things. You will either choke to death on your own mucus, or the fever will break through your body so quickly you will simply get heat stroke and shut down. I’m sad to say Type 2 has, from our best estimates, a 98% mortality rate.

“Type 3, we’re not sure what happens, but for some reason the body doesn’t develop an antibody to the disease and you will simply continue to shrink until you cannot be seen. This is either a different disease altogether, or simply the result of poor antibodies. These are the facts, and it’s all we know at this time. We--”

[Banging noises off-screen.]

“I’m sorry, Dr. Khroenen, we’ll have to cut this short. Ladies and gentlemen, the good Doctor here has told you--[cough][sneeze]--all you need to know. There is no vaccine, this whole thing is being covered up, and--”

[Something breaks off-screen. Gunshots ring out. The Newscaster falls over dead, blood spattering the desk and Dr. Khroenen. More gunshots. Khroenen is blown up by three bullets.]
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