Cat vs Mouse (Part 1)

Thesis Project, Chapter 2: Crime

Every single city and country in the world has criminals. No matter how safe they are, they at least have a few crimes every year. However, if we consider people living in different sized countries, we might find a few variations in the way crimes are committed, in their most probable targets, and even in the criminals themselves.

For example, if a woman lives alone and a burglar breaks in, even if she’s home at the time, there’s little to nothing she can do to stop him. However, if said woman was 20 times the burglar’s size, she could easily stop him if she noticed he was there. He’d be at her complete mercy and there’d be nothing he could do to fight back.

But, on the other hand, giant criminals pose a huge threat to society. Granted, they’d be much easier to catch, as it’d be really hard for a giant robber to hide in a (compared to him) tiny city. But this also opens the door to many new criminals who would never be able to commit a crime if they weren’t much larger than their surroundings. Even a little child, who would only be able to steal candy from a younger kid, would be unstoppable if he decided to take furniture from a doll-sized house. Not even 10 men could prevent him from doing so.

I know that we have a new international police now, and that no matter the size of delinquents, there’s always police big enough (or small enough) to deal with them. My point here is that we have to start looking for potentially new criminals, as well as potentially not-so-helpless victims.

***

We arrived soon at the café he said before. The place wasn’t very fancy, but it sure was cozy. Plus, it had seats, tables and service for people my size, so I couldn’t complain. I sat by a table my size, and a waitress about my height placed a chair and a table Daniel’s size on it. He ordered a cup of coffee, while I only ordered hot chocolate.

“Chocolate? You don’t like coffee?”, he asked, confused.

“Not really, no. Too bitter”, I said, seeing our waitress come closer.

“Well, then why did you agree to come to a café?”

“They serve other stuff besides coffee, silly.”

The waitress interrupted our conversation as she placed a tray on our table. Since she was too big to properly serve people Daniel’s size, the tray held not only my cup of chocolate, but also a much smaller waitress, carrying her own, smaller tray.

The larger waitress placed the cup of chocolate in front of me and left, leaving the tiny one on the table. She approached Daniel’s tiny table and placed his coffee on it.

“Gracias”, he said, staring up at her. They then stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Daniel?”, she asked, surprised.

“Paula?”, he asked back, standing up.

It was at this point that I noticed that she was about twice Daniel’s height. I guess I wasn’t as good at calculating people’s sizes as I thought. However, height miscalculation was the least of my problems, as without any kind of warning, she squatted, wrapped her arms around his body, and lifted him, giving him what we all know as a bear hug.

As innocent as this could have been, what really bothered me was that, because of the hug motion, she was smothering him with her breasts, each of them bigger than his head. At a moment, his face actually disappeared inside her cleavage. I was, of course, both surprised and angry. What was all that about? I had to resist the urge to reach down and separate them with my fingers.

After what seemed like an eternity to me, she finally put him back down. I just stared down at both of them, obviously expecting an explanation.

“Lena”, Daniel said, looking up at my. “This is Paula, a childhood friend. Paula, this is Lena.”

“Nice to meet you, Lena”, she said, waving up at me.

“Likewise”, I said, waving back.

Before Daniel or I could say anything, this Paula girl started to talk to him. In Spanish, of course. I cursed myself for not taking Spanish classes, but I never really needed them until then. All the classes I took were in English, and people understood a good deal of Spanglish, as well as hand gestures, so I was fine.

I was obviously really worried, sitting there without understanding a word of what they were saying. They seemed to get along pretty well, and that might not have been so bad, except that she was also very good looking. Not only had she a beautiful face, but even in her modest waitress outfit I could see that she was much curvier than I was.

As they chatted, smiling and laughing, I kept feeling more and more uneasy. I didn’t say a word during our stay in the café; not until it was finally time to leave. I had taken like 3 cups of hot chocolate while watching them talk. I actually felt a little offended that they just cut me out like that. They could have at least tried to speak in English, so I could follow the conversation.

I’m sorry if I sound like a whining kid, but you have to understand. I really liked him, and she seemed to have all it took to inspire attraction from him. The fact that he was completely ignoring me to talk to her didn’t help, either. There just seemed to be “spark” between them. They probably had a lot in common, they already liked each other and they were both attractive. How was I supposed to compete with that?

I know that I sound really insecure by saying this, but hey, I’m an insecure person, and I was even more back then. I just prayed that she wasn’t interested in him that way, because I found no way that he’d ever pick me over her.

But I digress. I just wanted to tell you how I felt, so you wouldn’t judge my actions so much. As Daniel and I walked out of there, the Colombian girl quickly caught up.

“Daniel!”, she shouted, walking towards him.

“Not again…”, I thought, as the two started to talk again. Fortunately, Daniel started speaking in English, and Paula followed.

“Hey, Lena”, he said, “Paula is inviting us to a club tonight. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?”

Before I could answer, Paula interrupted.

“Ummm…actually…I was thinking it might be better if it was just you and me. Not that I don’t like her, but…you know. We’re going to be catching up with our lives, and she doesn’t even speak Spanish. I just don’t want her to feel left out.”

She obviously didn’t want me to go. That was a bad sign. I honestly didn’t care much for the club, but I definitely wasn’t going to leave the two of them alone for a whole night. Especially not one at a club, with drinks and stuff.

“Oh, no, don’t worry about me, Paula.”, I said, trying to sound as friendly as possible. “This is actually a good opportunity to get to know each other better. Plus, I need to practice my Spanish a little, so it works for me.”

“Well, that’s great, then.”, Daniel said, oblivious to my real intentions. “I’ll see you two girls there, then. Around 10 works for you?”

“Fine with me…”, she said, obviously not thrilled about me going.

“Me too.”, I said, smiling down at her.

“OK, then. See you two girls there.”, he looked up at me again. “I’m sorry I have to leave like this, but I have a few errands. Take care!”

And that was the end of the awkward coffee. However, the day was just beginning…

***

“What am I gonna do?!”, I said, already starting to panic.

“First of all, calm down.”, answered Sarah. “He asked you out, remember? It means he likes you already.”

“You don’t understand. You weren’t there. This girl is like the stereotype of Colombians. She’s very pretty and really curvy. Just the perfect level of tan, long, black hair…”

“OK, OK, stop right there.”, Sarah interrupted me. “Are you describing her or trying to sell her?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…she’s really attractive. I just can’t compete with her.”

“But you don’t even know if you have to compete or not. For all you know, she’s just an old time friend of his. You’re the one dating him, not her.”

“Yes, I know, but it seems they haven’t seen each other in a long time. I just don’t want him to realize that I’m not as hot as he thinks. You know, by seeing both of us next to each other.”

“Now that’s ridiculous. He already saw you two together.”

“Yeah, but she was in a waitress outfit. She’s probably going to wear something much sexier tonight. That’s why I need your help. Make me look sexy.”

She burst into laughter as soon as I said that.

“But you already are sexy, silly.”

“You know what I mean!”, I said, a bit anxious. “I need to look so sexy that he won’t be able to take his eyes off of me. And if I have to take his eyes off her to do that, I’m really gonna need your help.”

“OK, OK, fine…”, she said, rolling her eyes. “If you really need this to help improve your self-esteem, I guess I can help you here.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you…!”, I said, giving her a tight hug.

“Eeek! Just don’t crush me!”

“Sorry…”, I said, lowering my voice and letting her go.

“It’s OK. Now, there’s a few things you have to do if you want to stand out tonight instead of her.”, she said, talking with her teacher tone again. “Let’s start with math.”

“Math?”, I asked her, raising an eyebrow. “What does math have to do with this?”

“You’ll see.”, she said. “This is what I like to call the 'absolute sexiness and relative sexiness'.”

“What the Hell is that?”

“Let’s pick the number 12, for example. If we take the absolute value of each of the two digits, 2 is worth twice the value of 1, right?”

“Right”

“However, if we put them together in the number 12, we have their relative value, in which case the number 1 is actually 10, and 5 times worth the 2.”

“Ummm…OK… So?”

“So, it’s the same with you and this Colombian chick. If you take each other’s absolute sexiness, and if she’s really as sexy as you said, then she’s probably hotter and more attractive than you are. However, that’s only if he was seeing a picture of each one of you. But if you two are next to each other, things are quite different.”

“Oh…I think I know where you’re going with this. But go on.”

“For example, even if she’s a big breasted girl, considering your size difference, you could probably pin her down under your boob.”

I chuckled a little, picturing the scene.

“Don’t do that, though”, she said, giggling. “Anyway, it means that, to his eyes, you’re the one with larger breasts, rear, legs, etc. Men are that simple. They don’t consider how things are proportionally. They just see a pair of breasts the size of melons, and then a pair twice their own size. Which one do you think they’ll pick?”

“Hehehe, good point.”, I said, smiling from ear to ear, my confidence raising very fast. “That’s actually a good theory. I like it.”

“Of course you do.”, she said proudly, acting as if my reaction was normal. “But in order for it to work, you really need to let him see your… attributes.”

“What do you mean?”, I asked, already fearing the answer.

“Well, there’s no way he can actually realize your relative sexiness if you hide under a sweater and a pair of sweatpants.”

“Oh, I wasn’t going to wear that.”

“Yes, I know, but I know you, and you were probably going to wear something… well… not sexy enough.”

“Hey! How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know you, Lena.”, she said, as if lecturing me. “Your taste in clothes isn’t exactly the sexiest one. But don’t worry, that’s what friends are for. When I’m done with you, there won’t be a guy in the place who doesn’t check you out.”

“If you say so…”, I said, sighing, already regretting the next thing I was about to say. “What should I wear, then?”

***

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I couldn’t believe what I saw.

“Sarah!”, I shouted, and my Lebanese friend rushed to me.

“Yes…? What do you think?”, she said, confident. “You love it, don’t you? There’s no need to thank me, really. I did this gladly.”

“Are you crazy? I can’t wear this in public!”

“And why exactly not?”, she asked, hands on hips, offended.

“Because we’re not going to a beach.”, I answered, sarcastically.

“So…?”

“So…this is almost a bikini! I can’t imagine someone wearing this in the street.”

“Then you need to go out more. This isn’t a bikini, you nerd. This is called a Bandeau. There’s not many other tops that will let you show off your upper half like this.”

“Of course not. They leave everything exposed. My shoulders, my back, even my belly…It sure feels like a bikini top. Are you sure people actually wear this?”

“Honey, you’re probably not going to be the only one.”

“OK, OK, fine. If you say so.”, I said, sighing. “But what about this shorts? My whole thigh is exposed in them.”

“Lena, when it comes to denim shorts, the shorter the better.”

“But I’m going to be freezing! Can I at least wear boots or something? These sandals don’t protect my feet from the cold at all.”

“Oh, sorry about that, but T-strap sandals actually go very well with the rest of your outfit. Plus, the more skin you show, the more he’ll be watching you.”

“Now you’re just starting to sound like a slut.”

“You say that because you’re a girl. It’s very rare for a guy to complain about a girl not wearing enough clothing.”

“That’s a good point, actually.”

“Exactly. This Paula girl will probably think the same, but Daniel is going to love it. Trust me.”

“OK, OK, fine. I’ll trust you. But this better work, or I’m gonna kill you! Understood?”

“Sure, sure. You’ll thank me when you come back. There’s just one more thing: You have to lose the glasses.”

“What? No, no, no. No way. I’m almost blind without them.”

“I know, but they make you look…nerdy.”

“Well, I AM kind of a nerd.”

“Yeah, but at least let him find out by himself. Plus, they won’t let anyone see the beautiful make up I did to you.”

“I’m not leaving without my glasses, period.”, I said, adjusting them to my ears. “Plus, it’s a huge cliché to say that glasses make girls look nerdy.”

“Oh, no. I didn’t say glasses. I said YOUR glasses.”

“Hey! That’s mean. And I don’t care. I like my glasses.”

“Of course you do. It’s OK, though. With the outfit you’re wearing, no one’s going to be looking at your glasses, anyway, so go ahead.”

“Thank you. Now, I gotta get going. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck, Lena. Go get them, tigress!”

I walked out of the house, taking a deep breath. I was still nervous, but something about my look that night made me feel much more confident than I had ever felt in my life. I actually felt very sexy and attractive. As if I could get any guy I wanted. But I only had one in mind, and I was sure going to fight for him.

“So you want to play, Paula? OK, then, let’s play”, I said to myself, cracking my knuckles.

I know you’re probably thinking that it was too much for a guy that I only knew for a few days, but as I said, at the time I didn’t have a high self-esteem, and I was more in love with love itself that with Daniel. Things were going to change, though.