“Parker! Hey! How are you?”

God.

“Hey, Patricia.  Hanging in there.”

Patricia.  Eccentric, flirty, irrational, moody, and smart all at the same time.  Sure, she was attractive.  However, what was initially quirky and exciting to Parker turned into strange and annoying.  It really didn’t matter what he thought, however, because Patricia happened to be Parker’s boss.   

Parker did have many reasons to be grateful for Patricia.  She was, in fact, the one who gave him a chance.  About a year ago, Parker, a fresh college graduate, timidly walked into an interview with her for an open position with the company.  It was about his 11th job interview that month, and he had no reason to believe that this one, a job with a small event planning company, would be any different than the others.  Until he met Patricia.

“God, my feet are KILLING me,” Patricia erratically complained immediately after shaking Parker’s hand upon entering her office.  “I hope you don’t mind if I slip my flats off.  I went hiking over the weekend, shit gets rough.”

“That’s, er, okay,” Parker responded, shocked as much by her informality as her youth and beauty.

Stretching out her legs under the table and wiggling her toes around as if they’ve just awoken from a long rest; Patricia took a deep breath and casually said, “Alright.  What’s your deal?”

“I, um…I had experience planning a charity fundraiser in college.”

“Not that. I’ve seen your resume. I want to know you. Your personality.”

Looking down to think about the question, Parker’s eyes wandered to her discarded ballet flats, which looked worn to shit.  He could clearly see five indentations in the top of the sole, likely from long, humid days walking around the office such as this one.

“Earth to kid! C’mon, spit it out.”

Shocked out of his absent-minded trance, Parker answered, “Well…I am a pretty easy-going guy.  I am big into music and baseball.  I’m not a morning person, but I’m working on it…”  Parker ran out of things to say and trailed off.  Luckily, Patricia was there to pick up the conversation.

The rest of the interview was spent discussing tastes in music, hobbies, and current events.  Parker eventually loosened up, as is the case when he meets a woman as accessible as Patricia.  He was hired on the spot.

For the first couple of months, Patricia could do no wrong.  Parker loved her sporadic ways as much as her meticulously applied makeup and cute outfits.  Her unpredictability included everything from blasting Bowie for the entire office to hear to leaving tasks for Parker on notebook paper and slipping them onto his desk, as if they were schoolchildren.

After that, however, he found that her scattered ways did not transition well into an office setting.  She often micromanaged him and turned out to be quite a flirt, which bothered Parker, who though that the attention that she gave was specific and unique.  She often would overload him with work and would only give him more when he couldn’t keep up.

Among one of the more specific events that led to Parker’s eventual distaste of Patricia occurred after a wedding that his business had planned.  The event had run all day; Patricia and the team began setting up around noon that day, and did not finish until midnight.  Parker however, finished about a half an hour later than that.

He was sitting on a chair at one of the dinner tables, packing up his belongings when Patricia, dressed to the nines as always, plopped down next to him.  Without acknowledging his presence, she removed her right shoe and began inspecting her foot.

“These heels seriously feel like someone is driving a stake into my feet.”

Parker only nodded in response, taking notice of the way that the ballroom lights reflected off her feet, most likely due to perspiration.  He tried not to imagine how they smelled after such a long and arduous day.

He was about to find out.

“Could you PLEASE rub them for me??” Patricia sweetly said while thrusting her soles into his lap, nearly knocking the phone out of his hand.

God, they actually smell. Bad. She’s still my boss, though. I’ll just do it so she’ll let me go home.

For what seemed like an eternity, Parker worked his hands through Patricia’s soft soles, the sweat acting as pre-applied massage oil.  He braved the smell, the curious looks of the ballroom workers, and her occasional soft moans until she let him go home, with just a quick, “Thanks Parker!” 

A few more incidents like that and her increasing tendency to give him shorter deadlines for his work tired Parker of her presence in his life.  Regardless, she is the reason that he can pay his rent.  She still acts as she did the day of the interview, still as bubbly and energetic as ever.

“That’s great!” Patricia responded to his flat answer about his mood as if he just told her that he just scored a touchdown at the Super Bowl and delivered a baby in the end zone.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll get that flyer to you by noon, okay?”

“Okay! And try to draft that request to the firm, alright?”

“Sure thing,” Parker responded, trying to not let his voice imply how big of an undertaking the request was.  He shuffled his way to his cubicle, passing his cubicle-neighbor, Victoria, on his way. 

“Yo,” Parker greeted her.

“Yo.  You going to that party tonight?”

“Probably not. Long week.”

“All the more reason to go! God Parker, you need to let loose one of these nights.  I can visibly see you wearing down into nothingness.”

“Ugh, maybe.  I’ll think about it.”

“Pick me up at 10.”

“What?”

“Just do it.  It’ll be rude if you stand me up at this point,” Victoria said with a quick smile and a wink.

Parker smiled back and rolled his eyes, implying that he would go, albeit begrudgingly.

Victoria, a hipster of sorts, always knew about some house party on any given weekend.  Although she is a very sweet and cute girl, Parker and she have simply been friends ever since she started at the company.  He would go as far to say that she was his best friend at the office.  He always felt comfortable in her presence, an oddity for the anxious mind of Parker.  They often made small talk over coffee and went to the occasional party.  At first he would have liked to “make a move,” whatever that was, but he mindfully slipped into platonic feelings for her, for fear of ruining a relationship with one of the few people at the office that he could actually bear.

The pace of the rest of the day slowed to a crawl; Parker finished his work, feeling completely and utterly drained after killing himself to finish Patricia’s tasks.  He finalized his plans with Victoria and swung the bus home, the long, traffic-packed ride leaving him to his thoughts.

I fucking hate these parties.  Victoria always slips away with a guy, leaving me to awkwardly sit on a couch alone, watching tons of beautiful people pay me no mind.  And the drunk people. Oh, the enhanced alter-egos of the party-goers that might actually be decent people in real life.  Who knows.  Who cares.

Parker eventually decided that he wouldn’t leave Victoria hanging, but he would probably sneak home after she found someone to do drugs or hook up with or whatever the hell she does.  After showering, shaving, and assembling an outfit that somewhat treaded the line between casual and dressy, Parker fired up his car and drove to Victoria’s, still attempting to style his stubborn hair.