“As I was saying before you and the end of the last chapter interrupted me,” said Hannah, clearing her throat and licking her lips again.  “I’m going to eat your little naked body, Jimmy, which tastes good to me for some unexplored reason.”

            “You know, if you hard vore me, you’re only getting a mouthful of blood and bones,” Jimmy pointed out.

            “So?”

            “Those normally don’t taste so great.”

            “Oh.  Well, your flesh tasted okay, so I’m sure the rest is perfectly fine too.  No worries.”

            “Of course.”

            “Aaaaand down the hatch you go!”

            “Come ON, Hannah, think this through!  We’re friends!  We’ll never be able to hang out again, not that you’d want to given how middle ground I am.”

            “This is what good friends do for each other.”

            “What, cannibalize them?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Oh.”

            “Yeah, I know, it’s kinda fucked up, but what can you do?” Hannah said with a shrug, extending her tongue and sliding it sloppily around Jimmy’s leg as she lowered him closer and closer to an oven-like doom.  “Say hi to my lunchtime nachos for me.”
            “I can’t.  I’ll be dead.”
            “God, it was just a joke.  Lighten up, Jimmy, or I’ll take an extra long time chewing you up,” Hannah insisted as she released Jimmy from her fingers.

            The tiny teen’s legs splashed against the writhing surface of his friend’s tongue, but he managed to catch himself against her teeth.

            “Wait, wait, hold up… is this really happening?  All this set-up, and I’m not even going to escape?”

            “Uh-uh!” Hannah managed to answer while still keeping her jaw open, playfully poking at her little friend’s crotch with a curious tip of the tongue, saliva filling in around Jimmy’s ankles.

            “Well, isn’t this just one giant flaming bucket of anticlimax.  All this way, all this perseverance, and I’m just gonna die?” he groused.

            “I ‘ink ‘ome ‘eole ‘ike ‘at,” Hannah answered semi-coherently.  Which was a valid point, regardless of whether or not anyone could understand it.

            “That’s a valid point, regardless of whether or not anyone could understand it, Hannah, but the fact is, this is just NOT a responsible way to handle narrative structure!  And even if I do end up dying, at the very least we need some kind of way to conclude the development of our characters.  Otherwise, why are we here?  What the hell is our motivation?”

            “I ‘ink ‘exiness?” Hannah gargled.

            “Sexiness does count for a lot, Hannah, I’ll give you that,” Jimmy admitted.  “But I’m still not satisfied.  And by God, I’m getting some FUCKING ANSWERS before I get swallowed by my best friend!”

            “I ‘unno!  I ‘an’t ‘alk ‘ike ‘his,” Hannah responded with annoyance.

            “I wasn’t talking to you,” Jimmy huffed, trying unsuccessfully to kick Hannah’s tongue away from his body.  “I was talking to YOU!”

Author’s Note: Who, me?

            “NO, FUCKING PIPER PERABO.  YES, YOU!” Jimmy screamed.

Author’s Note: What do you want from me?  This is just what I do.

            “I don’t give a shit,” Jimmy roared.  “Just because this is free content fetish porn literature does NOT excuse you from the basic, decent laws of language skills!”

Author’s Note: What are you complaining about?  This has all been grammatically correct, I think.  Maybe I missed one or two things, but who doesn’t from time to time?

            “I don’t mean grammar, I mean… you know, narrative arc!  Nothing’s happened!  I don’t feel like I’ve been changed by this experience at all, besides discovering that every hot girl I know is a total evil asshole,” Jimmy argued.

Author’s Note: This isn’t a story like that.  You’re supposed to be flat and average so that it’s easier for readers to imagine themselves being you, so they can fap ‘til the cows come home.  Why do you think you’re so middle ground?

            “Ugh.  Is that really the reason?” Jimmy gasped sadly.

Author’s Note: Don’t take it too hard.  Thousands of people would commit horrible atrocities to be able to experience what you just went through.

            “That’s kind of sad,” Jimmy observed.  “I mean, I certainly don’t enjoy this.”

            “I ‘o!” Hannah piped in.

            “Shit, I forgot you were here!” Jimmy yelped, flinching and almost falling into the titanic 10’s slobbery throat.

            “Can I ea’ ‘im ‘ow?” Hannah asked politely.

Author’s Note: Hold on a second, Hannah, let’s get this resolved first.

            “Nothing is getting resolved if you insist on letting a story end like this!  This isn’t even in the same postal code as plausible.  None of the girls I’ve run into would fit in anywhere outside of a supermodel VIP lounge and nobody’s responded anywhere near in a way suggesting a human being!” Jimmy cried.

Author’s Note: You’re being awfully bitchy considering how much ass you’ve gotten today.

            “I haven’t gotten any ass!  I’ve been molested, worn in a shoe, and almost cannibalized.”

            “Not ‘ust almost,” Hannah corrected.

            “See?  That’s NOTHING!”

Author’s Note: Throw out the technicalities, this is fetish porn.  Those things count as getting ass.

            “Look, if ANY of this shit counts as a legitimate erotic story in this stupid world, you can go ahead and swallow me right now, Hannah, because I’m through dealing with you people,” Jimmy declared resolutely, crossing his arms and letting himself slide lower into his friend’s mouth, who gratefully obliged by closing her lips and gulping.

Author’s Note: Quit complaining.  We didn’t even broach the concept of the girl growing instead of you shrinking.  Think of everything else we skipped!  Insertion of any kind, boob play, fantasy elements, giant adult women, object transformation, micro sizes.  Of course, if I ever do another one of these stories, I’ll need some of these things as fresh content for that…

            “I don’t think he can hear you anymore,” Hannah called out, licking her lips with satisfaction.  “I already swallowed him.”

Author’s Note: Oh, goddamn it, you were supposed to put some showmanship into it.  That’s what makes it hot.

            “Sorry.  I was hungrorny.”

Author’s Note: Huh?

            “Hungry and horny at the same time.”

Author’s Note: Of course you were.  Okay, at the very least, you can rub your neck sensually and talk about how much fun it is feeling him going down.

            “Actually,” Hannah replied, looking slightly disgusted and clutching her stomach.  “I think I’m gonna be sick.  He tasted like dead skin and BO, and once I chewed him up it tasted like blood and guts.”

Author’s Note: You were expecting something else?  Maybe Jimmy was right about the character development lacking around here.

            “Fuck you, I’m gonna go puke Jimmy up before I get an infection of some kind!” Hannah hissed as she darted off toward the nearest bathroom, her stomach gurgling dangerously.  “And now that I think about it more, this whole plot did kind of suck some serious balls.  What’s wrong with you?”

Author’s Note: Amateurs…