I can't read her, her big, dumb stupid face is frozen solid. She's staring right at me and I feel small, smaller than before. I don’t even remember what I said, just that feeling of utter shock and helplessness.

"Are you sure?" April asks.
"Yes! No! I... don’t know. I don’t know."

I should've left when I had the chance. And in the moment, I try to run, but my legs aren't cooperating. April holds me in her hand, still silent and unmoving. I can feel her mouth the words, "oh Junebug." I still can't tell if she's sorry or not.

The odds are still high that she's trying to fuck with me. I can feel it in her tone.

She closes her hand around me and I'm encased in a suffocating darkness. The clammy palms are wrapped around me tightly, reminding me of the years of unpleasant days under my sister's feet without even trying.

I let out a frightened screech before sinking my teeth into April's hand.

"Juniper!" April yelps as her hand snaps open. I fall to the ground, landing face first into the unstable cushion of the bed, and I find myself instinctively scrambling out of her line of sight. I feel a sharp pain in my ankle as my face collides with the comforter again.

I claw at the ground, shrieking like an animal caught in a bear trap.

"Juniper! What's gotten into you!?"

I'm hanging upside down, pinched between April's fingers. She's saying something, but I can't hear her over the blood rushing and heart pounding. I don't even try to force a response, opting to stare at my giant sister in the eyes.

I feel the air whipping at my face as April carries me out her bedroom. I'm stuck, helplessly hanging in the air as my now pissed off sister stomps off into the kitchen. From the metallic taste in my mouth, I realize that I drew blood.

Heartlessly, she drops me onto the wooden table. I force myself up, wobbling hakily on weak legs. My back is shot, and I'm hunched slightly, but I stand up straight, keeping the cold stare directed at my sister.

"Juniper, please tell me you're okay."

"I'm fine." I force out. My voice is wheezy, strained and unconvincing. I just need her to leave me alone. Just for a couple of hours.

"Is it something I did? I'm sorry I dropped you, but you bit me!"

"Just leave me alone!"

"June..."

"Take me to May's room." I say, more accurately bark. I don't even care what happens next. She could bring her fist right down on me or actually do what I say, either would be preferable at this point.

I feel a short jab at my back, and I'm lifted in April's palm again, hopefully for the last time if all goes right. 

There's a slight, dingy quality to the air in May's room. No matter how many nights I spend trapped in a makeshift hammock comprised of an old gym sock, I never get used to the stench. But now, it's welcoming as it means May's sadistic neglect is what will grant me my freedom in the middle of the night.

"June, if there's anything you need."

"I just want to be alone for a bit." My voice is calm, hopefully enough to keep her from getting too worried.

April reluctantly leaves, and I'm alone again, a feeling I have to get used to as I lie down. And before I know it, I pass out.

When I wake back up again, May's back, and I thank whatever force kept her from waking me up. Realistically it wasn't some beneveloent supernatural force but my sister April, looking out for me one last time.

The light's are off, but there's a soft glow coming from my sister's cell phone. I see a shodowy outline of May's face from the backlight. I jsut wait there, knowing after some amount of time, she'll just fall asleep. Every second is interminable as my nose finally re-registers the smell that surrounds me.

I hold back coughing, knowing any signs of life would get May to notice me. For what seems like hours, I lie there, breathing softly to feign sleep. 

Then the blue light goes out. The bed creaks, and I commit myself to another impossible hour of waiting. Luckily for me, I don't really have to count it out as I can make out a skewe view of May's alarm clock, just enough to make out the minutes.

The numbers hit zero, and I shoot out of the hammock, falling face first onto the dresser. I run to the edge, running my hand along it as I reach a certain spot. At the floor, there's a pile of dirty clothes, definitely enough to break my fall. I take a deep breath as I prepare for the drop.

"I've done this before," I whisper to myself, making my voice barely even audible to myself. I needed the boost, closing my eyes as I step off the edge.

I crawl out the bundle of clothes, pushing through a tshirt unti lI hit carpet, and from then on I'm running blindly along the side of the dresser to the right of me. It takes a few minutes, and I'm winded by the time I reach the door. It's slightly open, and I run through.

"Okay," I sigh, taking in the first real breath in hours.  Once again sticking to my plan, I keep to the walls, inching my way to April's room.

There's a slight booming in the distance and my heart stops. I halt in place and keep my back pressed against the wall. The thuds get louder, and I watch helplessly as the lights click on. I feel faint, staring up at my sister as she walks past me.
She's groggy, still sleepy as she scratches at her back lazily. Her long stries make me sick, but I keep still, knowing that if I'm caught, I'll spend more years under the forces of nature she calls her feet.

She steps into the bathroom, and the flourescent light, seeps from the door's underside. I sigh in relief and immediately sprint towards April's room. I'm coughing now, but I keep it quiet, the strain of running already setting in.

Within minutes, I'm climbing up April's broken lamp again. This time the pain is settling in my arms, a rippled burning sensation in my biceps. I keep climbing, forcing my way up through several grunts and moans, stopping only for slight shifts in April's movement. And when I get to the top, my arms are still aching, but I'm in the last few legs of my escape. I take a breather, letting the cool draft comfort me.

My heart's racing as I step out the window, my hand awkardly grasping the shoelace, recoiling at its cold touch. I grip it tightly and grit my teeth. I start climbing down, the strain on my arms getting worse by the second. I'm reckless as I climb down, my mind focused on how close I am to finally getting out. I reach the plastic tip in a minute, hangin dangerously high above the ground.

It's not fatal. It's not fatal. It's not fatal.

I let go, and a sharp, stabbing pain hits my legs. Even then I stand up, my right leg weak. I let out a pained screech, a sort of reward for pushing my body to the limit. I stab at the ground with my leg, the pain spiking and eventually dulling ever so slightly to a bearable wildfire.

It's the middle of the night, and I hear the sound of distant crickets. I force myself to take a step, crying out in agony. I follow the walkway, something I haven't done for years, but this time the familiar landscape is large enough to be a mile or two of walking.

I reach the curb, and that's when my mind completely registers what I had just done.

"What the fuck..." I say in shock. I sit at the edge, taking in pained breaths. I take a look at the house in the distance. My destination. "What if she doesn't care? What if she's as bad as them?" 

Regardless, I keep pressing onward, taking the chance.

I start my way across the street, running down the slight slope of the corner. I keep my teeth grit, pretending to ignore my leg. Walking and running on and off, I make progress across the street, reaching the end just before dawn. There's a chill in the morning air, something uncommon in the desert of the southwest. 

There's an earthquake, and as much as I don't want to lose  even an inch's worth of progress, I reluctantly run back to the cliffside of the curb.

I pause, complelty in awe at a pair of morning joggers, covering miles relatively without any sort of effort. They boom down the sidewalk as I star at a single black-gray splotch of gum stuck at the bottom of a woman's running shoe. 

I can't shake the feeling that if I had kept running recklessly, my life would have ended under the patch of chewing gum.

I keep moving forward, the house closer than ever before. I'm sweating, tired, aching. My arms are on fire, and at any moment it feels like my legs will give out.

And they do.

I'm on the ground, resting under the shade of a  bush, coughing and hacking, staring up at the unforgiving sun that now begins to burn mercilessly. My throat is dry and I realize how long it's been since I last ate. I can feel my body begin to shut down. My entire body is in pain, but I don't care. Best case scenario, I'm picked apart by a swarm of fire ants.

There's one more rumble, but I don't bother to look until a shadow blots my vision. I see a familiar, rounded face, formed into a frown of concern.

It's you I'm sorry I even bothered you in the first place. I shouldn't have bothered.

I'm sorry.

A gloved hand, covered in dirt and mulch reaches out, lifting my lifeless body into the air. I don't dare look at her, my head turned towards what had provided me shade.

A goddamned juniper bush.