I was in mid-chew when she spoke back to me.  It made all the comfort of the food I was eating flush right out of me and yank me back to reality.  I just stared into the slide of toast in my hands, the butter starting to dampen both of my thumbs.  I took deeper breaths as I forced myself to think back on the situation and what she said.  I was hysterical on the inside, but I also knew well that I couldn’t just run away from the situation I was in.  I’d already realized none of this was a dream.  It was just to surreal.  This was really happening and trying to mentally run away from it wouldn’t change that. 

It took a few moments, but I finally looked back towards her, reluctantly.  The muscles in my feet and legs tightened upon seeing her again.  I had to fight myself hard not to start shaking upon gazing up just to see her face.  ‘Calm down’ I thought to myself.  ‘Breathe in your nose.  Breathe out your mouth.  In your nose.  Out your mouth.’  Of all the places my memories of therapy would come back and be needed.  It took me a few minutes, but I began to calm and relax, the doctor just sitting there, smiling, as if she were just waiting me to finish. 

She wore a gentle smile on her face and her cheeks wore blush.  Her hair flowed perfectly down onto her kimono and she was calm as could be.  The light coming off the ceiling bounced off her form perfectly.  The more I took in this image, the more my feelings almost felt unwarranted.  I sat there, terrified of her, yet she looked and had acted so gentle this entire time.  I was starting to wonder if the fear really was warranted.  Or, if she was right when she said was true, and I really was in a safe situation, after all.  There was much conflict, but certain parts of this made me question if I really was in danger. 

“W-what’s going on?”

I muttered only three words, barely getting them out before I started to shake again.  My fists clenched and I started breathing deeply again to maintain control of my anxiety.  I brought out the strength to speak a few words, but at least they were the words that needed to be said.  I was in an impossible situation, or so I thought.  I needed answers, more than anything else.  I needed to know where I was, and why I was there.  More importantly, though, I needed to know why everything, including her, was twice as big to me. 

“Oh, don’t worry.  I’ll explain everything in due time.  But ‘what’s going on’ is that you’re recovering and I’m taking care of you” 

‘What?’ I thought.  ‘In due time?  Why can’t I know now?  And recovering from what?  Could you have given me a more vague answer?’  My thoughts were going crazy, but all I could do physically was shake my head.  My breathing was starting to increase again, but I grabbed at my chest and tried my hardest to concentrate.  I felt like I was about to hit the floor in the worst panic attack of my life, but I had to focus.  I had to concentrate.  I had to keep this going.

“R-Recovering?”

There, another word came out.  Only one word, but I had to keep this conversation going.  If something was wrong with me, and there clearly was, I needed to know what it was.  It’s like being told you’re terminally ill but no one will tell you whether it’s from Aids, Cancer, Parkinson’s, the list goes on.  How could I possibly cope with whatever I’m recovering from if I didn’t even know what was wrong with me in the first place?  In a bold move, I locked gazes with her and tried to show her how serious I was as tears began to flow down my face again. 

She slowly reached her hands out and took mine with them.  Each hand was large, warm, and gentle.  There it was again.  Gentle talking.  Gentle actions.  Gentle feeling.  An overwhelming sense of comfort that makes me doubt my own feelings on what was going on.  But I never took my gaze off of her, as much as it made my heart pound harder and harder.  I couldn’t stop looking at her.  I needed this.  I kept telling myself that, anyways.  Finally, she slowly nodded her head towards me. 

“You’re recovering from the reduction process.  You’re smaller now.  Just the way I…just the way you need to be”

That statement made me tense up again.  ‘Reduction process?’ I thought to myself.  Was my gut feeling right?  Did this have something to do with her and her dismissal of Rebecca’s worries about me getting shorter?  My hands started to shake in hers, a clear emotional reaction from what she’d just said.  But when they shook, she just stood and moved around the table, over to me.  The more I shook, the closer she got.  Until she had gone as far as picking me up and pulling me into her stomach and chest. 

I gasped as my feet left the ground.  I’d always been afraid of heights since I was a small child.  My entire body started to tremble and I instinctively pulled closer to her.  I clung tightly into her body and closed my eyes, not willing to let go of anything solid, even if it was her.  And that was my first mistake.  When I realized that, in that moment, less than a foot off the ground, I naturally reacted and was depending on her to hold me to keep me from falling, although that short fall would not have done anything short of a small bump. 

“There we go, little one.  Everything will be fine, as long as you’re here with me.  You’ll never fall.  You’ll never get hurt.  That’s why I chose you.  To pull you away from the stress and the pain.”

I couldn’t let go of her, but her words just struck be in a really bad way.  I muffled the word ‘Chose?’ into her shoulder as she held me while standing up.  Despite my shaking, feeling her body warming me also helped calm me. 

“That’s right.  But don’t worry about that.  I chose you and made you this way to make you happy.  I can provide your every need.  You’ll never have to go anywhere anymore.”

I swallowed a large mouthful of air.  The more I heard, the more I was starting to get scared again.  She did this to me.  She’s the one who made me this short.  And that fact alone terrified me enough to make my heart go so high that I passed out…