I can’t say this is a memory I like recalling, and I would prefer not to.  But you, my readers, I’m sure would be disappointed at the inclusion of a “The Following Day…” sequence in this chapter.  So, let’s get down to it. 

Terror was a mild term for how I felt in that moment.  Being moved around like a toy, rubbed against her most private and sensitive sexual area.  It hurt, beyond words.  Not physically, but I was being unknowingly humiliated in a terrible way, and all I could do when I finally got room to breath is let out a scream for help.  Hoping, praying that she would not only hear me, but come to her senses and stop using me as her personal, living vibrator. 

As my lungs blew out all they could, I felt the hot air coming from the flesh on both sides of me.  On one side was soft, slimy vagina flesh and the other equally slimy fingers.  And I was helpless before either one.  Her hand was moving far too quickly for me to be able to move against them and try to slip away.  I felt like I was plastered into both of them at the same time, and countless tears ran down my face as I let out that scream for help.  A scream that was heard not long after.  A scream that brought about a very important event of this misadventure, for both of us involved. 

She stopped the moment I let out that scream, though it was already too late.  The moment she stopped, I could hear a high-pitched moan coming from above, much higher and louder than the prior.  Afterwards, I heard a rumbling in front of me followed by the equivalent of a water hose on jet setting of sticky, smelly, and hot juice that I’m sure I don’t need to define for all of you.  My scream made her stop, but not before she came all over her hand, and me. 

The feeling was something I don’t think I could make into one word.  Everything was hot around me.  I was sweating.  Everything felt like it was stuck and pulling in on itself.  My muscles were having spasms everywhere it was possible to feel.  I could no longer even tell the difference with the feeling on my face of what was my tears and what was everything else.  It was enough to completely destroy my sense of anything at all and it was the final straw the made my mind snap and go from fighting everything to a complete mental breakdown. 

Anyone whom has suffered from this knows exactly how it feels.  When everything inside and outside just breaks and lose all of your senses.  Your sight clouds.  Your feelings numb.  Nothing smells or sounds anymore.  You lose any sort of awareness of anything going on with your body, and you are lost in that numbness of your entire being breaking in two.  You lose yourself, literally, in the moment and in the nothingness of your breakdown.  It the true endgame for those that suffer from anxiety and extreme stress. 

I still don’t remember a lot of that moment.  I just remember coming to my senses a few minutes later.  I knew that I was sobbing, shaking, trembling, in the fetal position.  So many tears in my eyes that all I saw was a blurry tear-induced field of vision.  And I knew something was moving over me.  I didn’t know what it was, and quite frankly, I didn’t care what it was.  All I cared about was curling up in ball, crying my eyes out, over something that I partially didn’t even remember at first.  It was an event that not only put me into shock, but it was a truly traumatizing experience. 

Minutes, hours went by.  I didn’t stop crying and shaking for longer than I can even recall.  It hit me and wouldn’t stop, as if it were years and years of hidden stress all coming out at once.  Fear everywhere, sadness everywhere, numbness everywhere.  I didn’t know it at the time, but Hiroshi was next to me, still wiping her “stuff” off of me, just watching me melt down and break in front of her.  I wouldn’t know of any of it, as this kept up until I had sobbed away every ounce of strength in my body and I managed to knock myself out, unconscious and asleep. 

And in that moment, I was witnessing the true meaning of being a victim.  Kidnapped.  And sexually traumatized…