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I Love You.

Those are three words everyone wants to hear in their life. It means that someone cares a lot about you. Cares so much that they would offer their love to you, or that they have offered and given it to you. It’s something that many people yearn for throughout their entire lives. To some, it’s something that they get on occasion and others it’s something they want to hear at least once before their life is over. Hearing it from this person was not my idea of a before-my-life-is-over event.

“Remember, little one. I love you. I’m only doing this because you made me”

It was the third or fourth time she had said I made her do all of this. I personally can’t stand people who hide behind excuses like that in the real world. “Oh, he made me do this. She made me do this”. Is she here? Is he here? No? Then no, they didn’t. You did this. You chose to do this. It was the same. She was choosing to put me through all of this. She had every bit of control. I was the size of a doll. I couldn’t force anything on her.

Still feeling the wet on my forehead from her last kiss, I wasn’t ready for another, but it came. She reached down, picking me up with two hands, kissing my forehead a few more times. This random display of affection was much more than she’d shown before and was, as I said, random. Was this supposed to be some reward for doing what she told me to do? Or was it something else?

After several kisses on my forehead, she did the kiss that I did not want. Her lips came towards the lower portions of my face, and her lips met mine (and a good portion of my face), and they just stayed there for the longest time. I knew it was at least a minute because at the end of it, I was having a hard time holding my breath. Her lips covered both my mouth and over my nose, making it impossible for me to breath.

She didn’t say anything after that, as I expected her to. She simply looked at me, stare is more like it. And she smiled. She let out a very large, wide smile. For several moments, seconds, minutes. I was held in front of her face, a smile on her face, her eyes just looking me over again and again and again. All I could do was just look back at her, waiting for her to say something or do something. But, she didn’t.

When we did go someplace else, we did without a single word from her. She simply started walking and pulled me towards the big wall of her. I was pulled into an area I could only assume to be right above her chest. As soon as I hit her I had to quickly move my head to the side and as my face rubbed against her, it felt surprisingly soft and pillow-ish. That and the fact that part of what my lower body was pressing on bounced as I heard her walk below. Only one body part in this general area that does that. I was near her chest.

My entire body got chills as we were in mid-walk, though. Something gently touched my hair and it gave me goosebumps. My eyes looked and I could see her fingers, as large as they were, moving towards me and…stroking my body. With every movement of her fingers down my hair, I got chills and felt tense. It was even more so when I felt another finger from her other hand reaching out and rubbing down my arm. This was very affectionate treatment. It was weird. It was wrong.

It just didn’t match. She was upset. She was making me write down restrictive rules of the house because I freaked out and called her a crazy bitch. Affection is not the way to respond when you’re upset like this. I was expecting to be thrown back into that cage and be stuck in there for the rest of the night. Or being given some ridiculous task to be able to prove I won’t go against what she tells me to do.

Instead, she was holding and stroking me as if I were a treasured plush toy. And that’s all what she seemed to be doing. After so long, and looking around where I could, I realized that she was slowly walking across her house, turning, walking across it again, turning again, and repeating. She was just holding me and walking around for no apparent reason other than to hold me.

The longer this went by, the worse I started to feel about it. I went off on her. Called her a crazy bitch (which she was one, but still), and pretty much showed that I had a death wish. And after laying down rules and making sure I knew them, she was affectionate with me. Really affectionate. She deserved every word I said to her, but this just made me feel kinda bad. I’m sure even you readers were expecting some sort of bad treatment.

This went on for hours. I don’t know how her legs even kept walking for that long. But when we finally stopped, I got turned around but pulled right back into the same place. I saw a lot of the room moving around me, but found myself steadily moving with her. As her fingers came back towards me, I felt part of her face move to the upper part of my face. Almost on my cheeks. And we started rocking. My surroundings showed themselves. We were on a rocking chair.

I looked around, still being stroked, and even kissed from time to time. We just sat there for hours on end. And I was starting to wonder what had happened to the person who was so upset and strict with me earlier. And when this other person that was so affectionate and gentle came from…
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