"I hate it when people try to act like they understand me, like they're feeling what I'm feeling."

"Yeah, I feel that."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"What? Of course I'm listening to you, what's up? Did I say something wrong?"

"Whatever, look, I think that it's about time that I left. See you later."

"Hey, no, don't go, you only just got here. Look, I'm sorry. Why don't you tell me what happened to your ankle?"

"Are you serious? I just told you that like five minutes ago. It was Jade."

"Oh yeah, Jade, the crazy girl. I remember now. Sorry, I'm just really consumed in in this game right now."

"Alright, well, anyway. My ankle's going to be in this cast for a month. I'm not enjoying it at all."

"That sucks. I remember when I was like, eight maybe, my sister and I were riding on a golf cart and I tried to get off of it before it stopped moving. My foot hit the ground and my ankle got twisted pretty badly, turned out to be a sprain and I had to wear a cast thing too. But that cast was like, removable, it was made out of some plastic thing."

"Yeah."

"How did you mess up your ankle? Like, what caused it? I know that it happened while you were with Jade."

"She had me in this cage thing, and I was trying to open the door, so I got a running start to slam it open, but I tripped and twisted my ankle."

"Ouch, you twisted it so badly that it sprained?"

"No, it's just that I ended up having to be on the foot nonstop for the next day and a half, so the ankle just received constant abuse."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

"..."

"Alright, I think I'm gonna go, I don't want to interrupt you while you're playing your game."

"No, hey, okay, fine. I'll turn the game off. Look, there, it's off. I'm giving you my full attention. What happened after you got out of the cage?"

"I just looked around and went back into it. I was too exhausted by that point to really do anything other than fall asleep again."

"And Jade woke up and found you? Was she angry that you had gotten out of the cage?"

"I guess she was only just waking up so she didn't really notice that the cage was open, she just opened it up, gave me a fresh pair of clothes and took me outside. We sat there for a while before we went back in."

"Is that all you two did? You just walked around the house doing nothing all day?"

"Uh, no, clearly I eventually had to start walking around and moving a lot if my ankle was injured this badly."

"Oh, yeah."

"We went back inside and she took me to her bed and she put my down her shirt and started playing with me."

"With her boobs? She started playing with you with her boobs?"

"Yeah, keep it down, geez louise."

"Sorry, that just sounds ridiculous, she played with you with her boobs. What was that like?"

"She just squeezed me between them and shoved me against her nipple a lot. That's all there really was to it."

"Damn, that's intense. What did her nipples feel like?"

"Why does that matter? I'm going to continue with the story."

"..."

"So once she's done with that she tells me that it's probably about time she had breakfast. We went into the kitchen and she cooked some banh xeo."

"What's banh xeo?"

"Just look it up once we're done talking. So she cooks that and eats it, she doesn't even share any of it with me, and then we start walking back to her room—"

"Siri, what's banh xeo?"

"—and then we're, wait, what the fuck? Why are you asking siri what banh xeo is? Can't you just wait for me to finish my story?"

"I'm curious!"

"Whatever, so we're walking back to Jade's room and suddenly her dad comes out of her room and starts freaking out about her doing something, I don't know what, but Jade flips shit and throws me into her pocket. I vomited while I was falling and it all landed on top of me."

"Vietnamese omelette..."

"Jade ran to her room, took me from her pocket and threw me onto her bed, then just totally got the fuck out of there. Booked it. I passed out from the impact and didn't wake up until it was night."

"This looks cool, you should make me one of these some time."

"No. I woke up at night and Jade still wasn't there so I figured it was finally time for me to get out of there. I slid down a blanket off of her bed and had to go through her stinky room, around all of her dirty clothes, with no light at all."

"Whoa, for real? How long did that take you?"

"Like thirty minutes, I don't know, it wasn't that hard. I got out of the room and was in the loft, and by now it was morning—"

"How was it morning? You were only in the room for thirty minutes."

"I woke up just before sunrise. So I walked around the loft for a while until Jade comes home and Jade's dad leaves. I couldn't get out of the house, even though I tried pretty hard. So I was still stuck in the loft while Jade was home, back at square one pretty much."

"Damn."

"Jade eventually comes back into the loft and starts looking for me. I hid pretty well for the better part of an hour, but eventually she managed to get me with some bullshit trick. So she starts to—"

"What was the trick?"

"She pretended to fall and played dead so I would see if she was okay, then she grabbed me when I got close."

"Oh my gosh, that's hilarious."

"Stop laughing, shut up, I was just trying to be a decent friend."

"Okay, okay, okay, continue with the story."

"We were walking back to her room and... why are you laughing again?"

"I was just thinking about the trick. I told you to continue, just ignore me."

"Okay, we're walking back to her room and when we get there she tries to explain why she shrunk me in the first place. Apparently she thought that I had a crush on her, and she wanted to shrink me so we could have a relationship without Sofia noticing? I don't know."

"Sofia?"

"Yeah, Jade's girlfriend, my ex-best friend. We're still friends."

"Sorry, I don't know her."

"Well, duh. Anyway, before she can turn me back, Sofia is all of the sudden there, in the house—"

"Sofia?"

"What?"

"Who's Sofia?"

"I just told you, what the hell?"

"Oh, yeah. Continue."

"Sofia is there, and her and Jade literally come rolling into the room kissing each other, and they both end up naked, on the bed that I'm sitting on, and they start fucking."

"While you were on the bed?"

"Yes."

"Whoa, what was that like?"

"Well, I ended up getting really close to a lot of their body parts, and it was really gross. Eventually I got away from them and started my way back up to Sofia's head so I could get her attention. The nosebleed I got while I was getting out of Jade's room came back, a big blob of blood came out of my nose and suddenly I was just bleeding everywhere—"

"When did you get a nosebleed in Jade's room? You didn't mention that."

"Oh, yeah, uh. I tripped when I was almost out of the room and got a nosebleed. It sucked."

"Alright."

"Eventually I get to Sofia's head and I shit you not, she suddenly has the biggest orgasm I could ever imagine anyone ever, and she lifts her head up then slams it down on me."

"Damn."

"Yeah, well, she felt me of course, and she found me and picked me up. That pretty much ruined whatever moment her and Jade were having. She flipped out at Jade when I told her what happened, and Jade just had a total fucking breakdown. She started throwing everything everywhere, including my cage, so wood chippings got all over the place, and she punched a hole in the wall, it just wasn't something you would want to have to watch."

"Shit, dude."

"It was pretty bad. Eventually Sofia got sick of it and she left, she took me of course, and when we got to her place she changed me back."

"How did she know how to do that?"

"Apparently Jade had wanted to shrink Sofia before this, and had shown her all the science behind it, but she wasn't really interested. But it's good that she knew it, so she could change me back."

"Yeah."

"It was awkward when Sofia realized what had happened, and that I had gotten stuck to her asshole—"

"You got stuck to her what?"

"I told you I got close to their body parts. Regardless, Sofia was pretty much fine with it and we hugged it out. It was a good moment for me. She drove me to the hospital to get my leg checked out."

"Aw..."

"Yeah. My dad had to pick me up and I told him everything that happened, he was pretty pissed. He said he was going to talk to Jade's dad and probably pursue some legal stuff, but I don't really care enough to keep track of it. I don't know."

"..."

"..."

"So..."

"Yeah."

"Well, shit, what happened with Jade?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask Sofia or anything."

"Well, have you seen her around anywhere since then?"

"No, but if I did I would have killed her."