Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands

“That was just stupid, needlessly exposing yourself for the sake of checking Faith’s mother out!” Josh chastised. He could understand the slender man’s need to push the envelope, to constantly strive for conflict and chaos. Even the way he continually hammered away at Carver’s weight. Pissing on Faith’s pillow. Why? What gap in his genetic sequence necessitated him to do that? Was he just an adrenalin junkie seeking another fix? Whatever it was, it was liable to get them both caught and likely back into the bowl, except this time through Faith.

Julian laughed, “Hey man, live every moment like it’s your last because one of these times it will be, you know. Otherwise you’ll wind up like Henry, nutless and frightened of your own shadow. Do you think trying to appease Faith is going to forestall your departure from this mortal plane? Fuck no. That little girl is going to do whatever it is she wants to do and if you think otherwise you’re an idiot. Go out on your own terms and have some fun along the way. Listen, I know your plan is to sneak out of here and try and maybe appeal to mama for help and I’m all for that because staying here is more than likely a deathtrap. But let me tell you brother, based on that little conversation Faith just had with her mother, her getting punished for letting us escape custody, says that dear old ma could give a damn about little ole you or me. So where does that leave us? The sister? Redhead. Notoriously crazy with a history of being ruthless. Um, pass. Face it my tiny sized friend, no matter how you look at it, we are fucked. Capital F,” Julian stated.

“So you’re giving up? Is that it? You’ve just decided to throw in the proverbial towel and call it quits? Is that what you’re saying?” Josh countered, tone carrying unmasked annoyance.

Julian chuckled again, “Hell no, I told you, I’m just having a blast and this here is a hell of a lot more fun than being stuck in a box that stinks of other dude’s piss and shit. Far as I’m concerned, let’s see how long we can keep this ride going you know? Henry and Carver can be sheep, well Carver maybe a rounder fluffier sheep but you and me, but little shoebox pets all the same. Not me and you. I sensed that in you early on when you came too and didn’t breakdown. You were kind of like me, a little dorkier and morally inhibited but you weren’t going to just roll over. Think about it. Those other knobs are stuck in the box like two little domestic house mice and we’re out here doing it like a couple of wolves,” he said, tipping his head back and making a soft howling noise.

Shaking his head, Josh lay back staring up into the darkened interior of the dresser, unsure of what to do or say. Although not overly tactful, there was no argument that wasn’t a ring of truth in Julian’s words. The reality of the situation was there were no guarantees they would find any aid on the other side of the door if they managed to get out of the room. Just an illusion, a false hope in maybe. The mother had seemed fully cognizant of what her daughters were doing as it related to shrinking and eating people. As if that wasn’t disturbing enough, she even reprimanded the girl for losing them. Help there? Not very likely. So what was the answer? The remedy for their condition? He didn’t know. Rolling his head to the side, he looked over at Julian. Maybe he wasn’t a danger hunter or thrill seeker after all, maybe he was just comfortable with his own mortality? Beneath all that sarcastic quick-witted facetious bullshit, maybe he was just a pragmatist? Cutting through the veneer of civility to simply say what was on his mind, unfiltered. Maybe in some way he envied that type of liberation? Then Julian started fondling himself.

“Dude, seriously?” Josh asked, tone incredulous.

“What?” Julian queried casually.

“How can you possibly be jerking off right now?”

“Just killing time man, not sure I’m actually going to go all out and pull the trigger, but I tell you, if I had a chance to take a run at any of those girls when I was my regular size, I would do some damage. I would have torn that shit up. Know what I’m saying?” he asked with an amused chuckle.

“How can you do that when I’m like right here?” Josh questioned.

“Have you never had your girl slip under the table and give you a hummer, or power drilled some little barfly in the alley behind some little dive. Dude you are so sheltered man. Just relax, as long as we don’t make eye contact, it’s all good,” he said mirthfully.

“It’s not all good, you’re over there pulling your pud. It’s like totally awkward. Here I was just thinking you had made some profound philosophical commentary in the face of our situation and I look over and you’re spanking the monkey,” he complained.

Chuckling, “Hey, I just call them like I see them. We got some time to kill and I’m feeling a little randy so I’m just taking Caesar here out for a little stroll. Just a head’s up, I have to warn you, I am a bit of a moaner and I have been known to shoot for distance,” he jested.

“Caesar? Dude you did not just tell you named your dick Caesar? Josh laughed.

Julian laughed too, “Gives a whole new meaning to ‘All Hail Caesar’, or ‘Caesar salad dressing’ if you catch my drift?”

Josh sat up, leaning his back on the drawer and giving his head a little shake.

“Plus it ties into my name,” Julian added.

“Yeah, no I kind of got the connection,” Josh replied.

“It’s all your fancy book learning,” he stated, using a southern drawl.

“Please stop talking,” requested Josh, rolling his eyes.

“It’s always more satisfying when there’s someone-“ he didn’t finish what he was saying as the dresser drawer was suddenly slid open.