Neverquest – Part 111
Characters: Russell, Wallace, Bob, Guy, the Rat, ???
Location: In a mousehole in Felwinter
Time: Day 5 – 1:40 AM
“Are you sure you don’t remember anything?”
“M-maybe another coin will refresh my m-memory… Yes, another coin.”
Russell squinted at him and then reached into his pocket. “Last one. But first, tell me everything you know about the Tournament of Champions.”
“Not m-much. The Women, they don’t like to invite us to anything. Just executions. That’s all. We’re not welcome here. You shouldn’t be here. No, you should go.”
“We’re not going anywhere. Not until we find the pink-haired Mage who was at that tournament earlier today. Her name is Siarra.”
“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. We’ve asked around. All the Men tell us that you’re the one to ask about the people of this town.”
“What people? I don’t know any people. I don’t know anything.”
“Don’t lie to us, Rat. I’ve dealt with people like you all my life.”
“Then you k-know I come at a steep cost.”
Nodding, Russell pulled a handful of coins out of his pocket and laid his fist on the spool of tread that was being used as a table. They were gathered in a mousehole, the five of them—Russell, Wallace, Bob, Guy, and this shifty, scruffy, one-eyed vagabond known as the Rat. The Women of Felwinter refused to tell them anything, but the Men of the city had ways of communication. They had built an underground network that they could use to relay information, quite literally, under the footsteps of the girls above. The only problem was that nobody wanted to tell them anything. They were all Men, but they weren’t part of the inner circle. Even now, through the shadows of the woodwork, they could feel the scrutinizing glares of Men just like them, watching, waiting to jump them at a finger’s twitch. But they stood as one under the glow of a makeshift lantern, staring each other down.
The Rat wiped the sweat from his face with his hand and tongue as he saw the glitter of gold between Russell’s fingertips. “That’s a lot of money. Yes… You’re a rich person, s-stranger.”
Russell said nothing. Wallace, standing next to him, did the same.
“P-perhaps too rich. How did you get so much?”
“I’m paying you to answer questions, not to ask them.”
“Fair enough.”
“What do you know about Siarra?”
The Rat looked down at the coins. “The Tournament of Champions… This w-will be one Men won’t forget. Even if that Necromancer won the trophy, it was Men who were the true winners. The Men, they fought back, and they showed Women w-what they can do. The Women won’t soon forget this day either. No, I don’t reckon they will.” He opened his toothless grin. “Your friend…Siarra, however you may know her, she’s become a h-hero to Men everywhere. She helped us win that tournament, she did.”
Russell pried one finger away from the coins. “Where is she now?”
“In the d-d-dungeon.”
“The what?”
“The dungeon, you fool. And keep your voice down. …There are Women upstairs.”
But Russell could already hear the creaking of floorboards above him. He didn’t know what kind of building they were in, but he knew they weren’t welcome there. None of the Men were. But just to be sure, Bob and Guy stood guard by the rear exit, watching the street corner.
Tired of staring at shadows, Guy leaned over to Bob. “This place sure is a rat hole, isn’t it?”
Bob hooted in laughter. “You said it!”
“I don’t think they’re going to get any information from that Rat guy.”
“You said it.”
“I know I did.” Guy pondered his thoughts and then caught sight of somebody coming down the street in a carriage. “Hey, a human being! And it looks like a girl.”
Bob stared up at the coming figure that was at least ten times his size. “What gave you that idea?”
“Maybe we can ask her for help. We could be the heroes of the day.”
“Oooh, I’d like that.”
“Being a hero?”
“No, asking her for help. Maybe she’ll let us ride in her hair.”
“Oh, yeah… I wonder what it would smell like.”
“Probably like girl!”
“My favorite scent.”
“Here she comes!”
“Let’s go.”
“One sec,” Bob said as he plucked an handful of weeds that were growing between the cracks of the building. “We should present ourselves as respectable Men.”
“Good thinking. You always were the smart one!”
“Aw, shucks. I get it from you.”
And so the two idiots ran into the middle of the street and began waving their arms like circus performers. The wheels of the carriage drew closer, bouncing along the cobblestone path, and the loud click-clack of hooves made them slap their hands over their ears.
Fortunately, the girl sitting in the carriage saw them in time…in time to steer the carriage straight for them. Then she laughed and snapped the horse’s reins as the Men screamed and clung to each other.
With a louder thump than usual, the front left wheel of the carriage ran over Guy. Then the back wheel came and flattened Bob. As they lay there twitching, the girl pulled the carriage over to the side of the road and hopped down from her seat.
“Well, now…” she said as she bent over the Men to see if they were alive. “Looks like we got a couple of morons out past their curfew. What do you have to say for yourselves?”
“Ouch…?” Bob guessed.
“Aw, come now. You have to scream it. Where’s the life, the emotion?”
Guy coughed. “I think you flattened it.”
Bob burst into laughter, and then so did Guy, and finally the girl couldn’t help but break a smile.
“Looks like I stumbled upon something rare here,” she said. “Roadkill with a sense of humor.”
“Yeah, you can flatten our bodies, but you can’t squash our emotions!”
She raised an eyebrow. “That so?”
“Um, Miss…” Bob said, squirming like a turtle on its back. “Do you think you can help us up?”
“I don’t think there’s any helping you.”
Bob and Guy doubled over laughing.
“No helping us!” Guy hooted. “She’s hilarious.”
“You just have to come to our next cocktail party,” Bob agreed.
The girl stared at them. “Do you…things even know what a cocktail party is? That’s when we take Men like you and shove them—”
“Wait, wait, I have a cocktail joke!” Bob said.
“Tell it to the birds when they come to eat your insides. I must be getting home now.”
Guy widened his eyes. “Wait! You can’t leave us here.” Then he held his breath, as if trying to keep from exploding in laughter. “…You didn’t even tell us a bedtime story yet!”
She stood up to her full height. “Ahem. Once upon a time, there was a lovely lady of the royal family who was tired of listening to her lesser subjects complain about their status in life. So, one day, she hopped into her mighty chariot and ran them over forty-six times. Then she lived happily ever after while their entrails paved the city streets for her and all her daughters to come. The end.”
“Woooo!” Bob cried, throwing his flattened hands in the air. “Best story ever.”
“And based on a true story, too.”
“Really?”
“Is now. Congratulations, you’re a part of history.”
“Cool. Can I ride in your hair now? I brought you this bouquet of flowers.”
“Those are called weeds, dear.”
“Nu-uh. I got them for you.”
For a moment, it seemed like she was going to walk away. But then she smiled, friendly, like an angel, and bent down in front of them. “You know, it would be wrong of me to leave you here. In nature, a predator should always finish her prey, so I think the only customary thing to do with you is take you home, fry you up, and have you for breakfast. What do you think?”
Guy thought about it. “I think…I like my eggs sunny-side up!”
“Oh, oh!” Bob said. “Me too. Can we have eggs?”
The girl smiled again. “Why, of course. I simply adore omelette à la roadkill.”
“Psst, what did she say?” Bob whispered to Guy, even though the girl was definitely in earshot.
Guy tried to act smart. “It’s French. She said she’d love to have an omelet with us.”
“Oh! We accept, Miss.”
“Yeah, we’re really glad you ran us over with your carriage. You meet the nicest people that way.”
Smirking to herself, the girl peeled their bodies off the street. “You two make this almost too easy.”
But of course, they had no clue what she meant, so they just laughed along with her as she climbed back into the carriage.
And that was right about the time that Russell noticed their disappearance and poked his head out of the mousehole. “Bob? Guy?” He looked around. “Where did they… Sophia, do you copy?”
“What is it, Dad?”
“Do you have a reading on Bob and Guy?”
There was a moment of silence. “Um…their screens are black. What happened?”
The girl had tossed the guys on her lap and rolled a blanket over them.
“Shit,” Russell said, stepping out into the street. He saw a carriage pulling away from the curb. “Sophia, we lost them.”
Wallace followed him outside. “Sir, what if that girl grabbed them?”
“Girl? What girl?”
Wallace pointed to the carriage that was starting down the road.
“…I know we shouldn’t have let them guard the doorway.”
“What are we going to do, sir?”
Russell wiped his brow and thought for a quick second. “We can’t let anything bad happen to them… Come on!” Jumping into the street, he chased after the carriage as it rounded the corner. Like always, Wallace was right on his heels.
They chased it for about half a mile before they caught up to the rear wheels. But now the carriage was speeding up and they were losing ground.
“We have to get on!” Russell yelled. He pointed to a long thread from the girl’s blanket that was dangling over the side.
Wallace was on it. Narrowing his eyes and still running, he wrapped his arms around Russell’s waist and hurled him at the thread.
Russell felt the ground disappear from beneath his feet. He felt impossibly light and braced himself for impact. Then he spread his arms and curled his fingers, snatching the thread in midair. The momentum nearly threw him off, but he rocked in motion with the string for a minute and then regained his balance.
Grunting, he reached down for Wallace’s hand. “Grab on!”
But Wallace’s armor was slowing him down. He fell behind, panting, losing distance with every heavy step. “I’m not going to make it, sir!”
“You have to make it, Wallace! I need you.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“Then do it for Sophia. Do it for my daughter, Wallace.”
Wallace’s face hardened. He watched as the carriage began to round another turn and then braced himself. Digging his heels into the cobblestone, he coiled at his knees and then sprang into the air. His iron grip sank into the wood of one of the wheel’s spokes and he shot upward and around as the wheel turned. Just before he was thrown back into the cobblestone, he released himself from the wheel and caught Russell’s hand in the air. They dangled there for a moment, out of breath.
“Thank you, sir,” Wallace said. Then he threw back his head and moaned as something heavy latched onto his back, weighing him down.
“You forgot to pay me!” a voice cried out. It was the Rat.
“Get off me, you weasel!”
“N-not until I get p-p-paid!”
“We’ll pay you later,” Russell said. “Let go before you break the string!”
“No! I want my money.”
As the carriage rattled out of the city gates and onto the dirt road of the hills beyond, the girl shivered and wrapped the blanket tighter around her. The night air was chilly and she wasn’t wearing much more than her little yellow dress.
Taken up with the blanket, Russell, Wallace, and the Rat stowed away in the back of the carriage, where the girl wouldn’t find them. There, they hunkered down and listened to the conversation between the girl and Bob and Guy.
“Say,” Bob said as they passed the outskirts of the Enchanted Forest and entered the darkness of the open plains. “We never got your name, Miss. You do have one, don’t you?”
“Of course,” she said. “It’s May. Duchess May.”
Giantess World
