Neverquest – Part 120

Characters: Russell, Wallace, the Rat

Location: Inside the House of Femmington

Time: Day 5 – Early morning, before dawn

“I got his legs,” Russell said.

“Okay, pull!”

With a little bit of force, they managed to slide the Rat’s body under the door. Then Wallace squeezed through, putting the Rat back over his shoulders, and they turned to stare at the large foyer facing them.

“This girl must be loaded,” Wallace whispered. It was one of the high-ceiling rooms that was so enormous—especially at their size—that it only felt right to whisper. A louder note would echo off the walls forever.

Apart from its sheer magnitude, the most noticeable thing about the room was its dazzling collection of gold and silver candlesticks, which adorned the floor like the stalagmites of a cave. There had to be hundreds of them, ranging from Man-size to Woman-size, and though they were all unlit, they sparkled in the moonlight. Russell and Wallace stared up at them as they passed up.

Also along the wall were oil paintings and trophies—all tucked away behind glass and expensive framing—with May’s name and face splashed all over them. There was even a big portrait of May over the doorway with her eyes cast down, watching them cross the wooden floorboards.

“She’s pretty full of herself, too,” Russell said. “I’m glad I didn’t raise my daughter to be like this.”

“You did a fine job with Sophia, sir.”

“You’re damn right I did. Just look at this.” He pointed to the collection of trophies along the wall that would dwarf even the tallest Woman. “This girl has good looks, superb athletic ability, and a large fortune in her name and she thinks she’s the queen or something.”

“I think she’s in line to be, sir.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t raise my daughter to be a spoiled princess.”

“You did an excellent job, sir. I don’t think the girls in this world have a father to spoil them, so they spoil themselves.”

“It’s disgusting. A girl like her needs a father who can teach her right from wrong. Maybe then she wouldn’t be turning men into wax figurines.”

“What about her mother?”

“Her mother probably taught her to do that.”

“Good point.”

Nodding in unison, they walked on in silence for a while.

“…Is something troubling you, sir?”

“Just worried about the virus. That’s all.”

Wallace started to look at him, but his eyes caught hold of something else. In the next room, high up on the wooden table, he could see two men thrashing about in a glass of milk. “Sir, look.”

Russell turned his head. “It’s Bob and Guy! But where’s the girl?”

“No sign of her. Maybe she went to bed.”

“And left them there to drown?”

“Sir, this isn’t our world.”

“Right, right. Sometimes I forget decent humanity doesn’t exist here.”

They ran into the next room with Wallace still lugging the Rat over his back. Once there, they stared up the long legs of the wooden table, as if they were peering up the bark of a tall, bare-naked redwood.

“Maybe I can shake them down,” Wallace said, flexing his fingers and then wrapping them around one of the legs.

“No. The fall might kill them.”

“So might that girl if she comes back.”

“Well, what’s your idea, sir?”

Russell stroked his goatee and scanned the room. They were in an old-fashioned kitchen with the only plumbing in the room coming from the sink, which was overflowing with dirty dishes and still water. But there was an apron dangling from the wall next to it and a countertop that eventually skimmed one of the ends of the table.

“If we could get up there,” Russell said, “maybe you could throw me onto the table.”

“How are we going to get up there?”

He pointed. “We’ll climb the apron.”

“My armor might be too heavy for that, sir. And this ratman isn’t making it any easier.”

“Just leave him here. We’re done with him.”

Wallace shrugged and dropped the Rat’s limp body on the floor.

Stepping over to the apron, Russell reached out and touched the gentle cloth. Then he put one hand over the other, held his breath, and pushed off with his legs. The apron sagged a little when Wallace grabbed ahold, but he followed in suit with his partner and soon they were free-climbing the apron.

“Just like when we were kids, huh?” Russell laughed.

Wallace chuckled. But he didn’t dare look down.

At the waistline, Russell stopped and waited for Wallace to catch up. “We’ll never make the jump to the sink. Cut off the waistband.”

“I don’t have any hands free, sir.”

“Neither do I!”

Wallace grunted and stared at the waistband before him. Grabbing it firmly between his hands, he tugged on it as tightly as he could and began gnawing through the fabric. “This is what we need the Rat for.”

“Just keep chewing.”

As the veins in Wallace’s arms and neck began to pop out of his skin, the threads snapped away one by one. When the last one broke, he nearly lost his balance, but Russell caught his hand. Then they worked together to feed the band out of the belt loops and ended up with a long string that touched the floor.

“I’ll tie this around my waist,” Russell said, doing so. “Then I’ll jump onto the sink, wrap my end around something firm, and you’ll be able to climb on.”

“Did you say jump, sir?”

Russell grinned and began scaling the to the top of the apron. “Just like when we were kids, Wallace. Just like when we were kids.”

“I don’t remember, sir. Too many falls as a kid.”

“Not this time, my friend…”

Russell made it the apron sleeve and slowly began to shimmy towards the end. The gap between him and the sink was still huge and he could see the floor, miles down, like a field of endless wood. He wiped the sweat from his brow with his free hand and checked the string one more time.

“Is there enough slack, Wallace?” he called down.

“Plenty, sir.”

Russell closed his eyes. “Great…” Then he smiled as he imagined Sophia in his mind, and for the first time in his life, he could see her smiling back. “…Alright. For you, Sophia. For you.”

He opened his eyes. “Holy shit, that’s a long way down.”

“You can do it, sir.”

“You’re damn right I can…”

He pushed off. For a moment, the world below seemed to freeze as he went screaming through the air. He saw the sink in front of him, full of crusty food and bubbly water, and he stretched out his arms. The string held fast to his waist and he felt like he was soaring. Just a few more feet. He braced himself.

Just a few more.

Almost…

“Shit, I’m not going to make it!”