Neverquest – Part 139

Characters: Queen Isabella, Fallon, Aisha, Lord Dartemus, Frankie, the old man, and the Bucket Brigade
Location: Isabella’s room
Time: Day 5 – Morning


“Oh, no!” Aisha cried, looking down at Queen Isabella. “What have I done?”

Fallon reached down. “It’s okay, Sister Aisha. She doesn’t seem hurt.”

“I made her faint!”

“It’s okay.”

“She’s going to hang me for sure. Oh, Fallon, I don’t want to die.”

“You’re not. Just go get some water.”

“O-of course! Water!” Aisha looked around the room, stared down at the bucket in her hands, and then rushed out the door. She came back a minute later with water pouring down her arms. “Stand back! I got the water.”

She didn’t wait. Halfway across the room, she threw her arms forward and a surge of cold water came gushing at Isabella’s face.

“Aisha!” Fallon screamed, jumping back just in time. The water splashed Isabella, soaking her green dress, and quickly drained into her mouth and nostrils. She sat up, coughing, and her wet curls of hair dripped against the floor.

“…Aisha,” Fallon said again. “What did you do with the Men in the bucket?”

Aisha stared at the empty bucket she was holding. “Oops…”

With water sputtering out her lips, Isabella slowly opened her eyes to the sight of Lord Dartemus dangling on the tip of her nose. He stared up at her and she looked cross-eyed down at him, still coughing, and not a word was said.

Then Dartemus smiled and saluted Isabella with his free hand.

She took one look at him and the dozen or so Men clinging to her dress and hair and broke out screaming. “Get them off! Squash them—squash them all! Gross, gross, gross, gross, groooooooooooss!” By now, she was already on her feet, flailing her arms and legs in an effort to shake them all off like drops of water. Most of them let go and flopped around in the puddle on the floor, but Dartemus hung tightly to her nose. He wasn’t going to risk that fall.

Aisha dropped to her knees and began scooping the Men into the bucket as quickly as she could, but Bella’s foot kept coming down on her hand. Still, she managed to save them all before they wound up with the same fate as her fingers.

“I think that’s all of them,” she said. “Well, except for that one on your nose. If you just hold still…”

Isabella stopped shaking long enough to glare at Dartemus. Then she put one finger on the side of her nose and blew. The force was enough to shoot Dartemus off her face and Aisha managed to catch him in the bucket before he was thrown into the floorboards.

“I want them out of here!” Isabella screamed, pointing to the door.

“But that’s what I was trying to yell you before…” Aisha said meekly, still on her knees. “They saved you, Your Highness.”

“I’m worthy of being saved. Those insects aren’t even worthy of being in my sight! Take them away.”

“Yes, …Your Highness.”

Fallon watched Aisha start for the door and shook her head, taking the bucket away from her. “…You can go now, Sister Aisha. Thank you.”

Aisha didn’t wait around. She shuffled her feet faster and hurried out the door.

“Just look at my dress!” Isabella was crying. “It’s ruined now.”

Fallon tucked the bucket under her arm. “It’s just water, Isabella.”

“But it’s been contaminated by…ugh, Men! It’s Men water.”

“These Men helped to save you, Isabella. If it wasn’t for their information, I never would’ve known where to find you.”

“So give them a medal!”

“I don’t think they want a medal.”

“I do!” the old man cried from the bucket. Two others held him down.

“I just think they deserve some gratitude,” Fallon said. “They could’ve kept quiet, but they chose to reveal themselves to save you. That’s worthy of something.”

Isabella wrinkled her nose. “How about a five second head start before I begin stomping their little faces into the ground?”

“Isabella…”

“Ugh!” Sighing, she put her hands against her knees, bending slightly, and stared inside the bucket. She looked at the Men one by one and felt only disgust making knots in her stomach. “…You there—Lord Duckemus, why did you save me? Surely you’re not that stupid.”

The brave and handsomely rugged Dartemus stood, nodding to his Men, and looked squarely into Isabella’s eye. “My dear Isabella, you know I want nothing more than peace amongst our kingdoms. A land ruled by a Forsaken is not the land for me—or for you. So congratulations, Isabella. You’re the lesser of two evils.”

“Why, Darty,” she smiled. “You noticed.” Then she leaned forward, letting her face envelope the only escape of the bucket, and spoke in a whisper that only the Men could hear. “You just forgot one little detail… I’m not the lesser of anything.”

Pulling her face away, she reached out and took the bucket from Fallon. “You know, you’re right. These Men do deserve something special.”

“Yes, they do…” Fallon looked worried. “…But I don’t know if I like that grin. I know that grin.”

“Oh, relax. I’m not going to decide their fate.”

“You mean their fortune?”

“Whatever.”

“…Well, if not you, then who?”

“Why, you, Fallon.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You can decide what these Men get as their reward. Does that sound fair?”

“Well… I suppose. But why not ask the Men?”

“Duh, Fallon. Men are too stupid to think for themselves.”

“Well…what do you guys want?” Fallon asked, looking inside the bucket.

“I still want that medal!” the old man cried. Once again, he was held down.

“…I think I’d like to see my sister again,” Frankie said, but nobody heard him. “I miss her.”

It was Dartemus—yes, Dartemus—who stood amongst the rest and raised his hand to call for silence. “Freedom, my dear. It is our freedom that we seek.”

“Your freedom…” Fallon echoed.

“Yes. Our freedom. The same freedom we were once denied by the tyrannical child who calls herself Queen Isa—”

“Blah, blah, blah, that’s enough,” Isabella said, putting a pillow over the bucket. “How I hate long speeches. Even if they’re about me.”

“Well…” Fallon said. “It would seem they want their freedom.”

“Fine by me. They’re dirty old bath toys anyway.”

“…You’re really going to free them?”

Isabella sighed, clicked her tongue, and walked Fallon to the door. “Oh, Fallon… Simple, simple, mindless, put-ribbons-in-her-hair-and-call-her-a-pony Fallon. As a royal sovereign, it’s my solemn duty to fulfill the wishes of my people and all who look up to me, regardless of class or race. After all, a princess is only as good as her word.”

“Yes, I completely agree.”

“Of course you do.”

“So, you’re going to let them free?”

“You have my word, and nothing’s stronger than that.”

Fallon smiled. “Yes, I know.”

“Good. Now be a doll and get the courtroom ready. We have a trial to attend.”

“As you wish,” Fallon said with a bow.

Isabella watched her go, laughed for a moment, and threw the pillow across the room. Then she skipped to the royal bathroom, not caring how hard the Men in the bucket were tossed into each other.

“I bet you miss your home,” she said.

The Men screamed as they were thrown one way.

“I bet you miss eating garbage off the streets.”

They screamed as they were thrown the other way.

“I bet you miss waking up every morning and wondering if your whole village is going to be flattened by a couple girls having a picnic.”

Their screams continued on.

“But that’s all over now. You see, I’m going to send you home. That’s right. Home—where you and alllll the Men of this kingdom belong. Would you like that?” She puckered her lips and blew them a kiss. “Aw, would you like that, you stinky, stinky little people?”

“Maybe if you let us shower!” one of the Men yelled.

“SHUT UP!”

“…Yes, ma’am.”

“This is my tirade. You are not to interrupt.”

Dartemus made a fist. “Enough! Isabella… We have given ourselves to you on this day. Release us now. Save yourself an ounce of pride, if you are any Woman of Ellewyn.”

“I’ll almost miss you,” she said as she tipped the bucket over and dumped the Men out. The next thing they knew, they were treading cold water and looking up at Isabella through an even bigger hole than the bucket.

“This isn’t the way to Penee!” Dartemus sputtered. He looked around and realized there was no way out of this porcelain bowl except for the dark tunnel under the pool they were in. And it horrified him to think where they had fallen.

Grinning, Isabella reached for the chain overhead and slowly twirled it around her finger, toying with them. “Well, I guess this is good-bye, Lord Duckemus… I do hope you’re as good of a swimmer as the rest of my bath toys. It’d be a real shame for them to have to return to Penee and tell your brother that you drowned in my toilet water…” She curled her lips and faked a sniffle. “What a sad ending for the life of a noble. Glad it’s not me!”

And then she pulled the lever. Lord Dartemus grabbed hold of the boy and watched his world turn to a swirling madness. All around him, he could hear Isabella’s laughter, echoing through the spinning waters. He cursed her—he cursed everything—and prepared himself for the river of darkness.

It was all he had to look forward to.