Neverquest – Part 150

Characters: Duchess May, Russell, Wallace
Location: The courtyard of the House of Femmington
Time: Day 5 - Afternoon

Duchess May crept through the courtyard jungle on her hands and knees. She knew her size gave her an advantage over her prey, but it also provided her with a weakness—one that became a reality at a very early age, when she learned little critters could see her before she could see them. That made capturing bugs very difficult as a child.

But she had learned. She had learned how to move without being seen, how to breathe without being heard. She had even learned how to grab a butterfly by its wings, so it had no chance of escaping. And with enough practice, she could even grab its wings without crushing the butterfly in the process.

Then she moved on to bees. They were smaller, faster, and more dangerous, but she was bigger, quicker, and more deadly. By the time she was seven, she could pluck a flower from the ground and a bee from its petals at the same time. She even learned how to hold a bee by its stinger—tightly pinched between her forefinger and thumb—and how to flick it into a wall with enough force to make it stick.

After that, the challenge was gone. Bugs were so predictable. And stupid. She got bored of the mosquitoes who never seemed to learn, who came up to her when she was sun-bathing, only to be smashed against her skin. She grew weary of the worms who volunteered to be her bait after a rainstorm, when the fish at the docks were just begging to be caught, and of the tiny ants who openly walked into her path. Suicide was such a terrible waste of death.

Even animals became a bore. Run, run, run. Flee, cry, scurry, fall. Roll over, play dead. It was fun in the beginning—when her heart was in it—but the joy of watching a rabbit bleed at her feet was gone. They were predictable. Pathetic, even.

They actually thought they could get away.

For a time, she had considered giving up, possibly settling down into her position like Isabella, where she could enjoy sentencing lesser beings to death instead of killing them right away. Sure, it saved time doing the executions herself, but the magic was gone. Even the creatures she killed were less into it than before. She could see it in their eyes.

But everything changed when Men came into her life. Like raccoons, they would flock to her garden, hoping to nibble on her cabbages or peas. And she used to sit at her window and watch them in wonder. They were amazingly stupid, the way they would walk right up to her vegetables and fill their little bellies. They were like teeny bugs, but…more human, more…fascinating.

And when her mother used to shoo them away, or bash them into the dirt with a shovel, she could actually see the expressions on their faces. They weren’t stoic. No, not like ants. They were feeling real emotions. Fear. Anger. Want. They were like people—little people in her garden—and they were different from anything else.

And they weren’t predictable either. Some of the Men would run, yes, but others would dig into the ground or hide in the grass. Even now and then, a particularly gutsy one would put up a fight. She was mesmerized by these creatures. How could something that small could feel something? Why would something so insignificant to this world want to live? They couldn’t do anything. Their entire existence was pointless. What kind of life would it be to have to hunt for food every day of your life, knowing you always have to look over your shoulder because somebody or something else is doing the same? What a pity it must be to be so far down on the food chain.

And yet, these creatures still struggled to survive. They somehow felt their kind was worth saving. They were pathetic—more than anything she had ever come across—and they didn’t even know it. They had to be the stupidest things Dai Celesta ever put on this planet.

There was a rustling to her left. It was a noiseless sound—one that wouldn’t even startle a chipmunk from two yards away—but May was no ordinary human. She had trained with the Monks of the Blue Rose. She could hear a spider spin its web over the roar of an ocean wave, and she could eavesdrop on conversations happening a mile away. When she went hunting for bigger game, she would leave the dogs at home. Their ears were useless.

She kept crawling, listening to the pitter-patter of tiny feet scuttling across a leaf. Now a branch. Now into the grass.

With a devilish smirk, she continued straight.

Pathetic. That’s what they were.

“I don’t imagine your friends are doing very well right now,” she said. She didn’t direct her voice to the left, even though she knew that’s where they were, but they would hear her all the same. “...They stopped moving a while ago.” She lowered her body until her shoulders were touching the dirt. “I think they’ve given up on you.”

She was lying. She could still feel Bob and Guy kicking the walls of her stomach.

It tickled, in a way.

It always did.

“…It really is a terrible way to die,” she said. “Imagine being eaten alive and suffocating at the same time.” She shimmied across the forest floor on her belly. “You know, when you’re burning up in someone’s stomach, I think you take just a little longer to die because your body doesn’t know which way to go. It’s like it’s being killed from all sides.”

A twig cracked up ahead.

“But that should sound familiar to you people.”

They were getting slower.

“After all, you’re both going to die soon. You’re no different than the other Men in this world.” She rolled into the grass. “Honestly, what’s the point of living? If I don’t kill you, some girl out there will. Or maybe you’ll get gobbled up by an animal first. A coyote, a bird, maybe a little bunny rabbit with a button nose and floppy ears—does it really matter? You’re going to end up in the same place, whether I put you there or someone else.”

The Men were on their feet again.

“The most you can do is delay the inevitable. You can run from me, you can try to hide from the world…but every last one of you will end up in the dirt under my feet.” She touched the corner of her lip with her tongue and traced the outline of her mouth. “I wanted you to know that. I like to make reality very real to my prey before I finish them off.”

“You talk a lot for a hunter,” came a voice from behind. It was Russell. “Haven’t you ever heard the motto: ‘Shut up while you’re sneaking up,’ little girl?”

May spun around on her knees. “…Hey, bug, how’d you get behind me?”

This time, Wallace came from behind—the other behind—in the direction May had been headed. “Though in your case, ma’am, I think that saying can be applied to any situation.”

Confused, May craned her neck around. “Wait a second. There must be three of you.”

“Is that how many men it takes to fool a princess?” Russell asked.

“I would’ve really guessed about two less,” Wallace said.

“Stop talking!” May snapped. “I heard two pairs of footsteps up ahead. Where’s the other one?”

Russell shrugged. “You’re the hunter. You tell us.” Then he lifted a finger to his chin, pretending to ponder the matter over. “But…you might want to be careful if you continue on ahead. We could have a whole army waiting for you.”

Their arrogance was turning May’s face red.

“You know,” she said, “the last Men to insult me…why, they’re right about here.” She pointed to her belly, hidden behind her smooth skin and rough leather. “Do you think they’re feeling any pain? Do you?”

“I’m sure you’re even uglier on the inside, ma’am,” Wallace said. “So yes, I do imagine they’re in pain.”

“…You’ll know very soon, I suppose. You two lost the game.” She waited for some kind of panicked expression to appear on their faces, but nothing came. “…Are you stupid? I’m going to eat you both.”

“You’re too much for a couple of old men like us,” Russell said. “It’s a shame you couldn’t catch the other one, but two out of three ain’t bad.”

“For a girl anyway,” Wallace added.

“Yeah.”

Out of rage more than anything, May started to reach for them, but her long fingers froze in midair. She clenched them there. This is just what they wanted. To control her.

“You’re lying,” she said. “There were only two of you.”

Again, Russell stroked his chin. “Well…after you include Bob and Guy.”

“Those are the two you ate,” Wallace said.

“Yeah, and the Rat.”

“Can’t forget him.”

“Pretty sure you killed him, too.”

“I think she did.”

“At least we don’t have to pay him now.”

May slammed her fist against the ground. “How many Men did you bring into my house!?”

“Three less than got away.”

“Minus two more,” Wallace said. “Since she caught us and all.”

“Ah, yes, she did…” Russell pretended to count on his fingers. “So, what’s that? Three plus two is five… Plus the three we sent to steal some eggs… Plus the one to hold the door…”

“Don’t forget the panty raiders.”

“Right. We had…what, eight men in on that?”

“They’re big panties. I think it was closer to ten.”

Russell looked at May’s behind. “We’ll call it an even twelve.” Then he did some quick math in his head. “So…that comes out to about twenty-one men.”

“And you only caught five?” Wallace asked. “…Well, I guess we all have our off-days.”

“… I don’t believe you.” May looked over her shoulder. Somewhere in that tall grass, there had to be another one. She knew what she heard—three pairs of footsteps, all pointing to Men. “I think you’re just stalling while your friend gets away.”

“Only one?”

May reached for her spear and took a step back, being careful to tread lightly on the grass. She didn’t want to spook the other Man, who very well could have been hiding in the brush, waiting for his friends to make an escape.

Men were stupid like that.

Stupid creatures of habit.

“Forget it,” Russell said. “He’s long gone by now.”

“Be quiet. Very, very quiet.” Shooting an ominous glare at them, May put a single finger to her lips and took another step into the grass. “I’m hunting Men.”

“You’re just going to leave us here?”

She removed her finger and her tongue came out. “Don’t worry, my little prey. I’ll be back for you. You have nowhere else to run.”

“I do believe she has us there, sir,” Wallace said. “We certainly can’t outrun her.”

“Aye. She’s in the best years of her life and we’re just a couple of old dogs looking for a break.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

There was a snap, followed by a scream, and May vanished into the sea of grass. With nothing for her hands to grab onto, she was dragged across the ground on her backside, tearing open her leather tunic, and then hoisted six feet into the air. Her head banged against the trunk of a tree. From there, she dangled—like a fish on a hook—from a prickly vine that had somehow wrapped its way around the branch of the tree and then her ankle.

Russell and Wallace didn’t even look at her.

“Nothing is quite as tragic as the hunter who underestimates her prey,” Russell said.

Wallace nodded. “Well, you know the old saying, ‘The hunter who chases two rabbits—’”

“’Will catch neither one.’ Aye.”

They started walking in the opposite direction—slowly, almost at a turtle’s pace.

Before they were too far out, Russell turned to his friend. “Say, how did you make it sound like there was another person with us?”

“Simple. I ran on all fours.”

They shared a hearty laugh as they continued into the jungle in search of the golden monkey and a way out of this courtyard.

“What a stupid girl,” one of them said. Then they roared with laughter again.

Fading in and out of consciousness, May watched them disappear into the trees. She was half-blinded by the sunlight and still dazed from the blow to her head, but there was one thing she could distinctly remember…

She had never put a snare trap there.

She wasn’t so clumsy.

How could the Men…?

How could she be fooled?

Not in this place. Not by those things.

No, not like this…