Kendira, Kim, and Rachelle continued along the dirt road towards Felwinter with the three guys riding in the quiver slung over Kim’s shoulder. They had to cling to the brim to keep from falling in with the arrow shafts, but it wasn’t too difficult as the quiver was stuffed with enough arrows to find a foothold somewhere.
Quentin had his head poked out between Mundo and Isaac with his arms around them, singing.
“Fifty-six bottles of beer on the wall
Fifty-six bottles of beer
Take one down, pass it around
Fifty…um…fifty-two bottles of beer on the wall!”
“Dude, if you don’t really have beer, shut up!” Mundo screamed.
“I’m a Bard! I gotta sing.”
“You’ll be singing ‘mercy’ soon if you don’t shut up.”
“I don’t think I know the words to that one.”
Kim glanced over at Rachelle. “…I’d use them for arrows, but I think their heads are too dense.” As she said it, a tiny arrow whizzed through the air and struck Kim’s nose. Her footsteps stopped. She looked cross-eyed at the arrow, sticking out from her skin like a small stinger from a bee, and plucked it free. It crushed easily between her fingertips. “What the hell…?”
Suddenly, a volley of tiny arrows began to rain around them. Mundo and Isaac ducked into the quiver, pulling Quentin down with them. The girls just stood there, being attacked harmlessly from all sides by annoying little pricks at their skin. Rachelle shielded her face and tucked her head between her legs, but Kim and Kendira remained motionless, albeit a little aggravated.
“Halt!” came a tiny cry from a nearby tree. From its branches, a small man dressed all in green leaped down and landed on the dirt path, blocking their way. Sort of. Four more men dressed just like him, though of different heights (ranging from four to six inches) and shapes, appeared from bushes and trees and joined him on the path. They were all wearing tights and had bows or toothpick swords in hand.
“We are the merry men of the Enchanted Forest!” the man who had fallen from the tree cried. He was apparently their ringleader.
“You must be mistaken,” Kendira said. “The Enchanted Forest is some twenty miles south of here.” She pointed to the lush horizon south of them, but the merry men didn’t budge.
“The Enchanted Forest is not a good place to do business,” the man explained. “Nobody comes there. That’s why we moved our operations to the path between Oceanside and Felwinter. We see a lot more activity here!”
“I see… And just what is your business?”
“Why, we sing and drink and laugh and dance!” the man declared.
Quentin poked his head out from the quiver. “Yeah, my kind of men!”
“We love to be merry and gay!”
“…Or not.”
Kendira cleared her throat. “That’s great, you merry and gay men, but we have no time for your jollity. We’re on our way to Felwinter on very important business.”
“A wonderful city indeed!” the man said. “Unfortunately, a city also plagued by the rule of aristocrats. What beauty can be found in the land of the wealthy? None—none, I say! It is we poor folk who bring balance to this toppled life!”
“Are you going to move or not?”
“We shall move, my dear Mage, but first we will need all the money in your possession.”
“…What?”
“Don’t you say what we are?”
“Gay men?”
“Aleck, my dear! We are far more than that. We steal from the rich and give to the poor.”
“Damn communists,” Mundo muttered.
“You must understand,” the man continued. “We are not bad people. We strive to bring back the balance of Women and Men that existed before Sorena’s dark magic conjured up such an imperishable wall between our two races. Wouldn’t you like to see the world restored to what it used to be?”
Kendira sighed. “That’s why we’re on this journey. We’re going to defeat Sorena.”
“Ah, a truly foolish but noble cause! Tell me, my quixotic friends, just how do you propose to defeat such an invincible, murderous, unmerciful foe?”
“Not by stealing from people.”
“Touché, Mage, touché.”
“…You can call me Kendira, apprentice to the great Master Luna.”
“Well, Kendira, apprentice to the great Master Luna, I am Robin Hobb. I will be your pickpocket today. Please hand over all your valuables so I can distribute them evenly to unfortunate newbies.”
Rachelle stepped forward. “Are you fiends dense? Did Lady Kendira not tell you that we’re on our way to defeat Sorena? You have no reason to steal from us.”
“Ah, but we do, my holy sister! Many have tried to best Sorena. All have failed. We are not miracle-workers; we are realists. While you dabble in your wild fantasies, we do good by bringing hope and money to the race of Men. You can help us in our quest. Do not look to defeat the Dark Lady Sorena any longer—it is an unfeasible end! Instead, give us what you hold dear, lest we help ourselves to it. The choice is yours. The outcome is ours.”
“…You would really steal from three unarmed ladies?”
“Do not think of it as ‘stealing’. ‘Stealing’ is what the rich—you Women—do when you take land and liberty away from the poor. What we do is more of ‘balancing’ that inequality.”
“Well, sir,” Rachelle said, stepping back between Kendira and Kim. “You have us at a loss. If you are willing to steal from a disciple of Dai Celesta, then I am willing to defend myself in Her name. But I do ask that you reconsider. Walking away does not breed fools and dead men.”
Robin nodded and unsheathed his sword, as did the rest of his merry men. “Sister, I am for you.”
Giantess World
