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Characters: Tony, Gena, Sophia, Grandpa, Quentin, Mundo, Isaac, Robin Hobb, Little John, Siarra, Kendira, Rachelle, Aisha, Kim

“Grrrrargggnhhhh!” Tony grunted as he pressed his burning palms against the sole of Gena’s foot and slowly, incredibly, with the force of ten thousand rhinos, lifted her leg into the air. She stared down with a gaping and twisted mouth, trying to slam her foot back into the earth, but her kneecap kept coming at her chest until she found herself tumbling backwards. There, beneath her, in the hollow groove of her own footprint, was the fat naked man—but he wasn’t so naked anymore. Bulky armor now clung to him like a second layer of skin, with heavy shoulder pads that gave way to the bulging veins in his biceps. He flexed, a full-fledged Phalanx ready for battle, and raised his pole arm to his eye.

“Come get some, bitch,” he spat. “I may be a nerd in the real world, but here, I am king! You’ve messed with the wrong GM.”

Gena scowled down at the armored man. “GM, huh? I thought you weren’t allowed to play on the same servers as everybody else.”

“Something’s come up. Somebody has hacked into our system and planted a virus.”

“Well, it’s about time you came to do something about it! I’ve been petitioning to you guys all night.”

“Then you know that there are problems with the server?”

“More than that. I know who is responsible.”

Tony clicked his helmet, the game helmet back in the real world. “Did you get that guys?”

“Yeah, we got it,” Sophia said. She placed her hands on the edge of the table and leaned over the loudspeaker, but her eyes were on the computer screen, staring up at Gena through Tony’s eyes. “Ask her what she knows.”

Tony nodded. “Okay. Miss…uh…”

“Gena.”

“Yes, Miss Gena. I’d be very willing to listen to what you have to say.”

“Of course, but not here,” Gena said, placing her hand on the ground. “Quick, jump on before you get stepped on by somebody else.”

Tony did as she asked and she gradually rose to her full height, placing Tony on her shoulder. She ran a finger through his hair, letting a smile form and fade on her lips before she was done.

“Just hold on,” she started to say and then a sudden ray of light blinded her. She screamed, throwing her head to the side, as some crazy old man with a staff began waving it around from the other side of the arena.

“She’s temporarily blinded!” Grandpa roared. “Attack! Attack now!”

Isaac, Mundo, Quentin, Robin Hobb, and Little John let out a war cry, jumping into the arena with their silver weapons flashing. They were little, but their ambush gave them an advantage, for all the girls in the arena were treating the battle as a joke. They never expected Men to fight back. So, while the Women relaxed, casually laughing amongst the sport, leisurely stomping a man or two into paste, the Men spread out and began gaining the support of their naked comrades. For the first time in the tournament’s history, the Men had their faith renewed. And the audience was soon on their feet.

“Timber!” Isaac bellowed, throwing his sword sideways like an axe into the ankles of a female Warrior. She cried out, jerking her foot upward as a trail of fresh blood dripped onto the hard sand. Her eyes turned to fire and she went to smash Isaac, but he was already chopping her other ankle. With a shriek, she collapsed onto her elbows and swatted at him, but he was gone.

Grandpa led the way, using the light of his staff to blind the female contestants as Mundo and Quentin beat their toes down with blunt weapons. They were little more than a nuisance to the girls, but they came in waves and the blazing light made them impossible to see.

Robin Hobb and Little John trailed behind the others, releasing a volley of arrows into the air. Some of the arrows struck the knees and even the waists of the girls, for Robin Hobb was an excellent Archer, but many missed their enormously large targets or simply bounced off their skin. The naked Men scurried about, picking up the fallen arrows and used them as makeshift spears to prod the Women in their feet and ankles. Many of those Men were crushed in the process, but soon they began to realize that they could overcome a single girl if they all ganged up on her. That’s what they began to do. Soon the Women were on the run, being chased down by thirty tiny Men with toothpick-sized weapons.

“We’re doing it!” Mundo screamed, slamming his rod into the big toe of another female. She howled in annoyance and kicked at him. “Somebody, go after Gena! We can’t let her get away.”

Meanwhile, back in the audience, Siarra and her companions were the only ones still in their seats.


“I don’t think this is supposed to happen,” Kendira said, almost out of nowhere. “Who are those guys?”

They kept watching and then, as if overcome by a sudden revelation, their eyes all widened in unison. Their heads fell between their legs and they found themselves staring at the empty cage under their seats. The door hung from its hinge, opening and closing in between breaths of the air.

“Oh, Dai Celesta…” Rachelle whispered. “We’re going to be in so much trouble.”

“We’re not the only ones,” Aisha said. “Come on, we have no choice now. We have to stop this fight!”

“And risk our own lives? I’m not budging. Besides, they’re going to die whether we save them or not. You know what the consequences of interfering with a tournament are.”

Scowling, Aisha shoved Rachelle and jumped onto the wall hanging over the arena. “You don’t even know what it means to protect and serve the lives of others!”

Rachelle was caught off balance. She tumbled back, falling into the second row aisle and banging her head against the bench seats. Her cheeks flared. She jolted up, making a swipe for Aisha’s frayed skirt, but her fingers grabbed only air. Aisha crouched forward and, with one last angry glare back at Rachelle, she jumped into the arena.

“I’ll see you demoted for this!” Rachelle screamed, throwing her body and voice over the side of the wall. She stayed there for a minute and then pushed herself away, bumping into both Kim and Siarra. They were readying their weapons.

“I’m not leaving my brother and grandfather to die,” Siarra said bluntly. “You have to understand.”

“I understand that you’re willing to jeopardize the fate of this kingdom,” Rachelle said. “I understand that you’re about to mess in international affairs, and I understand that I’m not going to help you commit suicide for a dead cause.”

“Then there’s nothing more for either of us to say. Stand back.”

Rachelle sidestepped and stood next to Kendira, who was the only one still sitting. “What about you? Aren’t you going with them?”

Siarra had one foot on the wall, but she looked back. “Yes. Lady Kendira, we could use you. Gena is out there.”

For a moment, Kendira exchanged looks with Rachelle. Her eyes at last fell on Siarra, though. “…I’m sorry. The consequences on me—or worse, Master Luna—would be horrendous. The Arcane Order has principles that I must obey and one that clearly states I am not to intervene in the Queen’s doings. Even if I could save your friends, my role and status would be lost. I’d be more suited to help you if I stayed right here.”

Siarra turned around. “…You had me fooled, Kendira. I almost thought you cared.”

“Maybe we care about more than you think,” Rachelle said. “Maybe we’re able to see the big picture while you’re too busy trying to rub out a little smudge. I just hope you realize that all you’re doing is making everything worse for everybody.”

“I’m getting my brother back,” was all Siarra said before she leapt into the arena. Kim said nothing, but simply followed Siarra into the wild fray. Soon the battlefield was filled with fire and arrows as they begin to knock down female contestants from all sides. The audience was enraged. Their screams echoed through the stands and chaos broke out everywhere like some kind of sudden hurricane of madness.

Kendira stood next to Rachelle. “Maybe we should do something. You didn’t see what that Necromancer can do, but I know Siarra won’t be able to face her alone. She’s deadly.”

“Lady Kendira,” Rachelle said gently. “You’re doing the only thing you can do. They don’t understand the consequences of their actions. You and I do because of our status, because we know our place in this kingdom. We didn’t get this far because we listened to our emotions. We listened to our superiors. That’s why we’re working our way up in the ranks and fools like Sister Aisha are digging themselves into early graves. They just don’t get it.”

“You’re probably right…”

“Besides, what would Master Luna say? Like you said before, the Arcane Order is ready to throw her out the door. If she covers for you this time, she’d certainly lose her position. If she doesn’t, then you both will—you for interfering in royal affairs and her for potential conspiracy. The Arcane Order is looking for any reason to kick her out and they won’t pass up something like this. The best thing you can do for yourself and for her and everybody else is enjoy the fight. We don’t need to dirty our hands in this.”
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