TILBOP PART 6
IN THE FIRETRUCK-PARKING GARAGE OF CHIEF PUDDLE'S FIREHOUSE...
"PUDDLE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE HELP ME!" Lammy screamed and cried in just as pathetically helpless of absolute terror as always, collapsing face-down onto her chest and grabbing Chief Puddle by his fat dalmatian ankles in an act of supreme begging.
"My GAW-ly, what seems to be yo stupid ass' problem, huh? Dehydrated or some shit?" Chief Puddle asked her curiously, reaching over to the garage's emergency fire hose and deftly uncoiling it just in case.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NO, THE PROBLEM IS IN MY HEAD!" Lammy wailed hopelessly, pointing to the side of her ridiculously large noggin for emphasis. "I'VE BEEN INFESTED WITH FUCKING SENTIENT MIND-CONTROLLING BRAIN PARASITES WITH A HORRIBLE CASE OF SADISM AND CAN'T FUCKING GET THEM OUT! PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, HELP ME! MY FUCKING SANITY DEPENDS ON IT!" she began begging even louder, even going as far as to slavishly lick his shoes.
"Well, if ya SAY so...sigh..." Chief Puddle groaned distrustingly as he turned the fire hose up to nearly full blast and jammed it into Lammy's right ear while Parappa's firefighter mom came in from the opposite side of the room and stuck the OTHER emergency fire hose into her LEFT ear, causing her poor, poor brain to completely flash-flood with water while Parappa and Ma-San screamed at the tops of their lungs and nearly had a heart attack in response!
"Wait a minute...those fucking voices in my head...OH MY GOD, IT CAN'T BE!" Lammy put her hands over her cheeks, made the classic Home Alone face and gasped in disbelief as she suddenly had the single most shocking realization of her entire life, electrocuting Parappa and Ma-San and causing them to scream even louder while the water from the fire hoses embarrassingly drained out of Lammy's head through her nostrils, leaving Parappa and Ma-San pathetically choking, coughing and gasping for air on the wrinkly, fleshy floor of her brain.
"Mama Parappa? Get the endoscopy hose." Lammy irritatedly, disgustedly commanded Parappa's mom, who, after digging around in the garage's massive toolbox for a few seconds, pulled out just that; a fucking endoscopy tube in the toolbox of a firehouse, who would've thought?
"Alright, now let's get us a good-ass look-see at exactly WHAT the hell's going on in there, shall we?" Chief Puddle asked Lammy worriedly as he set the endoscopy tube's gigantic coil box on the floor, plugged it into the wall and used its wireless remote controller to extend the tube through Lammy's right nasal passageway and FINALLY into her tired, aching brain, at which point she and him alike (along with Mama Parappa) saw a truly un-THINK-able sight on the coil box's built-in side screen!
"PARAPPALUS THEODORE RAPPERTY! What in GOD'S name are you doing in this clinically insane stoner's BRAIN?! You have absolutely NO idea where it's been!" Mama Parappa yelled furiously at Parappa while the poor kid nervously stuck his arms out in front of him and waved his hands back and forth frantically in the classic "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE" gesture.
"For motherfucking crying out loud, I thought the world had already DAMNED thoroughly washed its filthy hands of fucking disgustingly depraved bullshit like this a LONG time ago!" Chief Puddle ranted nauseatedly, ever-so-slightly throwing up into his mouth as he saw all of the incredibly painful-looking internal damage the intruders had caused to Lammy's central nervous system.
"MARTINEZ INGRID SANTIAGO! What in GOD'S name are you doing in my clinically insane stoner BRAIN?! You fucking know WAY too much for comfort about where it's been, don't you?!" Lammy shrieked revoltedly, clutching her head with both hands and trembling with fear as she involuntarily turned around and bolted right out of the garage at ridiculous speed.
MEANWHILE, IN KATY'S THANKFULLY STATIONARILY PARKED CAR...
"Katy, you have a LOT of fucking explaining to do, YOU HEAR ME?!" Lammy gritted her teeth and growled bitterly, then suddenly shrieked infuriatedly at Katy, grabbing her by the neck and choking her with both hands while she just gagged, sputtered, coughed and absentmindedly hung out her tongue in response.
"W-WHAT F-F-FOR, P-PARDON MY (CHOKE, SPUTTER, COUGH) ASKING?!" Katy asked Lammy, desperately trying and failing to beat around the bush as her face began turning purple from lack of oxygen; all the while, Lammy's face was turning red as her hair with anger as scalding-hot steam poured out of her ears.
"YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT!" Lammy roared lividly at Katy, tightening her grip around the poor kitten's neck even further while said kitten's lungs began shriveling up like raisins. "TELL ME, WHO DID YOU SNEAK INTO MY FUCKING COCAINE POWDER YESTERDAY, HMM? HMMMMMM?!"
"PA- (COUGH) RA- (WHEEZE, SPUTTER, CHOKE)" Katy coughed, gasped and wheezed some more, unable to even speak from how brutally hard Lammy was choking her as Ma-San, in a fit of desperation, slammed her right index finger straight down onto Lammy's familiarly orange and rectangular MERCY button with all of her might.
"(GASP, CHOKE, COUGH) OKAY, for fuck's sake, I'll tell you, just PLEASE don't kill me, PLEASE!" Katy exhaustedly collapsed back into the driver's seat and began breathing in and out to regain her energy. "Yes, it's true; Parappa and Ma-San WERE, in fact, stowed away in your noggin this whole time!"
"WHY?!" Lammy roared ferociously at Katy, swiping at her with her fingernails and leaving a nasty claw mark on her face as she reluctantly continued explaining her motivations behind carrying out such an undeniably despicable and morally degenerate task as the one that was currently underway.
"BECAUSE IT'S BY FAR THE EASIEST WAY FOR US TO STRIKE IT RICH, DUMBASS!" Katy frustratedly yelled back at Lammy, causing her to furiously bitch-slap her right across the face.
"Is that SERIOUSLY what this is all about? You just want to get your fucking GREEDY little mitts on a corruptly large sum of cash and become a fucking douchey arrogant shithead like Joe Chin; is THAT it?" Lammy growled angrily at Katy, balling her hands tightly into fists and glaring soul-piercingly at her.
"YES! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YES!" Katy desperately explained to Lammy, nervously blocking her face with her forearms just in case her crazy alcoholic girlfriend tried to attack her yet again. "Listen, pal; if you manage to successfully survive Joe's challenge and become the head secretary of his worldwide fan club, we'll be making AT LEAST a solid ONE HUNDRED motherfucking dollars PER DAY! Why, we'll never have to worry about not being able to afford a replacement for one of our instruments AGAIN!" she continued, teasingly nudging Lammy in the process.
"Well, if it'll allow us to live long and prosper, then I guess I just HAVE to play along with it..." Lammy shrugged her shoulders, reluctantly nodded her pervert-infested head in agreement and sighed, thinking back to the classic "the more you suffer, you'll feel better when it's over" line from her band's (Milkcan's, AKA hers, Katy's and Ma-San's) smash-hit encore finale, Keep Your Head Up, from their more-than-somewhat embarrassingly titled UmJammer Lammy album while Katy eagerly revved up her automobile and blasted right off to their next destination!
AT CATHY PILLAR'S DAY-CARE...
"Watch and LEARN, rabbit babies (HERRRAAUUUGH); now THIS right here is how the stupid BIRDS that EAT our beloved caterpillar kind feed each other (ELLLARRRGH)!" Cathy Pillar raspily warbled as if her voice box had been warped into another dimension from chronic overexposure to radioactive cigarette smoke, vomiting pink candy-filled bubblegum vomit into the poor helpless blender that laid before her and Lammy not once but TWICE in the process.
"Um...well, I don't really have anything to VOMIT over at the moment, per se...I mean, besides maybe the fact that the entire fucking ROOM we're sitting in right now is literally completely MADE out of your godforsaken body segments..." Lammy sat criss-crossed on the floor, rested her cheek on her hand and sighed boredly and irritatedly while what appeared to be a great big swarm of multicolored bubblegum BALLS but was actually just Cathy's infinitely extendable rear-end segments surged through the background all around her, holding god-knows-how-many rabbit babies in its creepy, slimy hands.
"Oh, I'll give you something to fucking VOMIT over, believe you me...why, I've been saving up THIS wonderfully malodorous stench right here for roughly fifty YEARS..." Cathy Pillar explained teasingly to Lammy as she pulled off her shoes (all SIX of them, to be exact) and pressed all six of her moldy, sweaty, slimy, pus-oozing, freakishly un-naturally human feet against the poor girl's face, completely smothering her in their literally unbearable stench for approximately half of an entire minute and causing her eyes and nose to respectively water and bleed with chronic sensual discomfort in the process!
"HIC...HURK...BLEEEEEURRRRRRGH!" Lammy dry-heaved and retched violently, lunging over to the blender and throwing up two entire meals' worth of slimy orange-ish-brown vomit into said blender, filling it nearly all the way up to the top as Cathy crept her way back over to the blender to deliver the coup-de-grace!
"SEE? (BLEEEURAUGGGH!) Sometimes, you just gotta take advantage of the good old GAG reflex (HURRRRAOOOUUUGH)!" Cathy mockingly explained to Lammy as she puked up yet another ridiculously large amount of smelly and disgusting candy vomit into the blender, finally filling it all the way up to the top as she eagerly pressed the lid down onto it and hit its HEAVY DUTY button.
"Yeah, this most certainly looks like it's going to TASTE like doodie, all right..." Lammy regretfully sighed to herself, rolling her eyes and face-palming herself as her vomit and Cathy's were both blended together into an astonishingly gross mixture that not even a mother could love.
"Now DRINK it (HEEEEURALLLGH)!" Cathy assertively commanded Lammy, drinking the whole smoothie in one gargatuan gulp and then forcefully pressing her mouth against Lammy's (which, naturally, had been opened via mind control) and puking up the whole damned drink into it while also shoving her entire body RIGHT in between her bottom set of caterpillar legs!
"OOOOGH...URRRRK...HILAUUUGGGH!" Lammy painfully retched and vomited into the now-gratuitously-spread-eagle-positioned Cathy's also moldy, sweaty, slimy, pus-oozing and freakishly un-naturally human vagina.
"NOW LICK IT UP!" Cathy angrily commanded Lammy, shoving her head deep into the dank, cavernous, fungus-growing depths of her vagina, where she encountered a truly nauseating stench unlike any she had ever smelt before!
"AAAAYAAAUUUGGGHHH!" Lammy could be heard screaming in horror for miles around.
IN THE COCKPIT OF CAPTAIN FUSSENPEPPER'S AIRPLANE...
"Hey, here's a cool little joke for you!" Fussenpepper slurred dizzily, holding one of his local cockpit refridgerator's many, MANY beer bottles in his right hand while manning his primary steering wheel with the left. "What would you call a Middle Eastern terrorist organization founded by Benjamin Franklin in the late 1980s?"
"I dunno, what?" Lammy was forced to cluelessly ask via mind control, nervously providing the plane's secondary steering while Parappa and Ma-San just-as-nervously manned HER flight levers from deep within the internal cockpit of her head, having to annoyingly hear the sound of her ears popping every two seconds all the while.
"Electric-Al KITE-Da!" Fussenpepper laughed drunkenly, swaying back and forth in his seat like an idiot while Lammy unwillingly began LAUGHING like one...at one of the absolute stupidest jokes in recorded history, no less!
"GWAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, I LITERALLY CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!" Lammy shockingly began (mind-controlledly) clutching her chest, slapping her knees so hard that they became in roughly equal pain to that of her brain, and busting out into tears from how hard she was laughing at Fussenpepper's quite literally retarded joke...when all of the sudden, a certain oddly specific cockpit ceiling panel directly above Fussenpepper broke loose and hit him right on the head, causing him to completely shift personalities from "doddering, absentminded old man" to "ridiculously angry drill-sergeant lunatic".
"NEWS FLASH; THAT WASN'T FUCKING FUNNY, JACKASS! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO FUCKING LAUGH, RETARD!" Fussenpepper snarled and roared at Lammy like a complete anger-obsessed maniac, violently smashing his beer bottle against her head.
"Who are YOU calling a reee-taaard?" Lammy slurred dizzily with an amazingly dopey smile on her face as she absentmindedly began playing air-guitar with the secondary steering wheel while Katy began playing drums with the frightfully tall bump that had just erupted from the top of her head.
AT PAUL CHUCK'S LOG-CABIN-SHAPED GUITAR STORE...
"Um, hi, I'm uhh...I'm l-looking for some, uh...some recognition from you!" Lammy explained nervously to Paul Chuck from behind his cash-register counter, already intimidated to no end by his huge, morbidly obese- I mean, muscular and incredibly mean-looking lumberjack body.
"What KIND?" Paul asked Lammy curiously, publicly picking his nose in the process.
"Oh, you know, a COOL one that has awesome sound, reclining seats, power steering and dual AIRBAGS!" Lammy was mind-controlled into sarcastically saying in blatant reference to the good old days.
"What did I tell you before? I ain't got TIME for JOKERS!" Paul growled irritatedly at Lammy, removing his finger from his nose to make room for the piping-hot steam shooting out of it.
"Oh no no no, I'm sorry!" Lammy giggled, stammered and waved her hands out in front of her face awkwardly, blushing deeply and hanging her head embarrassedly. "I just want some that's COOL, and cheap, and of course the monetary gain's gotta be superior!"
"Ooh, a GREEDY girl, AIN'T-CHA?" Paul gritted his teeth and bitterly snarled at Lammy.
"Oh, PLEEEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING; ANYTHING, PLEEEAAASE?!" Lammy got down on her knees, tightly gripped the top-front corner of the counter with her hands and began sluttily begging against her own will while Parappa and Ma-San eagerly readied their sexual organs for a good old wank.
"ANNNYTHING?" Paul teasingly asked Lammy with a profoundly unsettling anime twinkle in his eyes.
"UH-HUH!" Lammy admitted degradingly to him with adorably sparkly anime eyes.
TWO MINUTES LATER, JUST OUTSIDE THE STORE'S ENTRANCE...
"OOH, I COME FROM ALABAMA WITH MY BANJO ON MY KNEE! WHEN THE FARMERS WANT A HORSE TO FUCK, THEY ALWAYS SETTLE ON ME!" Lammy, who was now PUBLICLY squatted down onto her hands and knees in a bondage outfit with numerous chicken feathers glued onto it, sang hilariously screechily and off-keyly at the tops of her lungs while Paul Chuck literally rode her like a horse, flogging her with his great big leather whip all the while as a huge line of people from literally ALL walks of life gathered behind her and literally fucked her up the ass.
"Do we have to pay to suck her dildo?" one of the anthropomorphic lima beans in the background crowd of people asked Paul curiously while another one of them drew remarkably perverted graffiti all over poor, poor Lammy's body with permanent markers.
"Nope, EVERY PART OF HER BODY IS FREE!" Paul Chuck laughed uproariously as Chop Chop took Lammy's outstretched bare soles and used them to give himself the footjob of a lifetime while an anthropomorphic shrimp slithered underneath her and sucked her big, dangling horse cock dry...
while an anthropomorphic board-game die walked up in front of her and used her mouth to give himself the BLOW-job of a lifetime, and also while an anthropomorphic 1950s coffee mug slithered underneath her and used her breasts to give himself the BOOB-job of a lifetime.
"Hmm, I wonder if her BRAIN is fuckable too?" an anthropomorphic cauliflower walked by and curiously mused to himself as he cartoonishly flipped open the top of Lammy's head and peeked inside.
"Wow, she actually HAS one?!" Paul Chuck clutched his chest and laughed uproariously as the anthro-cauliflower's big green dick came bursting in through the outer surface of Lammy's poor, poor brain, prompting Ma-San to climb up onto the inner roof of said brain, expand her mouth to gargantuan size and give the cauliflower man a nice big CHOMP where the sun didn't shine, causing Parappa to fall out of his chair laughing!
"Yeah, and it's apparently got some SERIOUS antibodies! YOWCH!" the cauliflower man and his gay pumpkin friend laughed as they yanked out Lammy's eyeballs and began fucking her eye sockets while her eyes just dangled lifelessly from their stalks.
AT TERIYAKI YOKO'S THEATRE IN HELL, AFTER LAMMY HAD LITERALLY BEEN FUCKED TO DEATH, AND HER BRAIN STOWAWAYS SECOND-HANDEDLY EMBARRASSED TO DEATH...
"Go on, CONFESS your deepest, darkest secrets! RELEASE YOUR INHIBITIONS! FEEL MY REIGN ON YOUR SINS! NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU!" Teriyaki Yoko began loudly and cornily motivating Lammy in extremely blatant homage to the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield as she slowly but surely lowered Lammy, who was now tightly tied up by the arms with (and, of course, nakedly dangling from a pulley system comprised of) frightfully rusty and squeaky chains, into a lava pit filled with skeletal sharks and razor-sharp, jet-black metal spikes galore while the massive crowd of (literal) brainless, hive-minded zombies in the background cheered with delight.
"Oh, dear god, please don't tell me Parappa and Ma-San found my memory banks, PLEASE don't tell me they're already looking through the top-secret private sections OF those memory banks as I introspectively speak to myself..." Lammy thought helplessly to herself in terror, squinting her eyes tightly shut and praying dearly to God that Parappa and Ma-San hadn't also died WITH her...surely enough, wouldn't you know it, they HAD, and BOY, were they back with a vengeance!
"Heh heh...news flash, pal, WE ARE!" Ma-San cackled maliciously as she pulled out Lammy's voice-control microphone and eagerly handed it over to Parappa with only the most insufferably arrogant and smug of winks that she could possibly muster.
"And like it or NOT, we're here to save your LIFE!" Parappa boasted valiantly as he turned the microphone on and used it to make Lammy admit all of the things that she was too pathetically timid and shy to admit herself while Ma-San continued sneakily browsing through her memory banks.
"MY MOTHER WAS A WALKING TRANSGENDER HIPPIE STEREOTYPE AND MY FATHER SMELT OF MARIJUANA BERRIES! WHEN I WAS LITTLE, WE WOULD EVEN FORM BIG NAKED THREESOMES WITH EACH OTHER!" Lammy screamed and cried while the crowd laughed uproariously and began throwing tomatoes at her to show their appreciation while Teriyaki began whipping her to try and force more confessions out of her.
"WHEN I WAS DISSECTING FROGS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, I USED TO MASTURBATE TO IT WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS LOOKING! ALSO, I JUST RECENLY ATE VOMIT OUT FROM THE VAGINA OF A FUCKING CATERPILLAR WITH HUMAN FEET AND SEXUAL ORGANS!" Lammy blubbered and bawled like a baby while everyone in the audience loudly expressed their intense feelings of disgust toward her.
"I'VE BEEN ARRESTED MULTIPLE TIMES FOR CHILD MOLESTATION ON ACCOUNT OF ATTEMPTING TO USE PARAPPA'S DICK AS A GUITAR!" Lammy wailed and sobbed as she was lowered closer and closer to the lava pit...and closer...and closer...and...
"I HAVE A FUCKING DYNAMITE-HEADED KARATE MOUSE AND RAPPING DOG LIVING INSIDE MY TRANS-LESBIAN ROCKER HIPPIE SHEEP BRAIN AND CONTROLLING IT VIA SUPERCOMPUTER RIGHT NOW, BOTH OF WHICH SNUCK IN THERE VIA MY NEON-BLUE-FURRED CAT GIRLFRIEND SNEAKING THEM INTO MY FUCKING COCAINE POWDER AND HAVING ME SNIFF THEM OFF OF HER FUCKING TOES!" Lammy continued wailing and screaming (this time out of her OWN free will, naturally) as the crowd began to feel profoundly bad for her while also developing just-as-profoundly confused boners in their pants as a result.
"Well, my watch's built-in lie detector app certainly hasn't spotted any fibs here, so I suppose I can let you go free...just try not to go too crazy and MURDER anyone, pretty please?" Teriyaki sarcastically, backhandedly complimented Lammy as she snapped her demonic fingers and instantaneously, magically teleported Lammy and her brain stowaways back into the mortal world without even another word whatsoever.
"Man, what a fucking pathetic LOSER!" nearly everyone in the crowd thought to themselves.
Giantess World
