After a long day at work, my wife and I arrived home. The afternoon at work was really uneventful which I was really grateful for. She headed to the bedroom and threw her purse on the bed and kicked of her heels. She started rummaging through the closet looking through some clothes for the evening. I knew Joan was coming over to hang and it would probably turn out to be a gab fest over some glasses of wine as usual. The constant chatter of my wife could finally do me in. She picked out a nice one piece slip-on dress. Not sure why she was getting so dolled up. Out of nowhere she started humming as she moved about the bedroom. That was annoying to say the least as her lips were vibrating uncontrollably. It was starting to give me such a headache with that reverberating noise. She laid her outfit on the bed and proceeded to get undressed.

She unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders to the bed. I was certainly awake now for this! I could see her breasts now budging out of her tight white laced bra – what a site indeed. She reached behind her back and unzipped her skirt and let it drop to the floor. She then scooted her panties down and let them drop in place. I could only imagine what she was going to do next. As much as I’ve seen her naked over the years, it always amazed me to look upon her – especially now that she doesn’t know I am here watching her every move.

She reached behind her back and fumbled around for a second until she unhitched her bra. She was looking down as she slightly bent over to let the straps slide off her shoulders. Her mounds were released from capture as her bra fell off her boobs. From this angle I could see her nipples bluntly protrude out – they looked huge to me. As she walked, I just watched them jiggle to and fro…up and down. I will never get tired of that. It was just then I noticed she was headed into the bathroom. To my shock, she went for the shower. She reach in and turned the faucet on. What the f’in hell! Can’t I catch a break! Was I to be washed down the drain never to be heard from again? All I could think is that this could not be happening to me again. If I could freeze in one place I would have – but wait, I already was.

As the shower ran, she turned around and plopped her face directly into the mirror really close. I mean really close. I could actually make myself out if I squinted really hard. She was stretching her face with her hands looking and feeling for something – probably any blemishes she had. I still couldn’t believe she couldn’t see or feel me. Then she backed up and started looking at her body. I also looked with pleasure. It was mesmerizing to see how she checks herself out. For a moment, I forgot all about the impending shower wash. She turned sideways and lifted herself up on her toes and checked out her butt. Then in delight, she lifted her breasts up and squeezed them forward and let go. I was certainly getting turned on.

She bent her head and body down far over this time as she buckled her legs and reached down in between. I couldn’t see exactly what she was doing but I knew. She was pulling out her tampon. It took her a few seconds but she managed to pull it out and dangle it right in front of us for inspection. It seemed to be clean this time. Maybe she is now finished with her period. She scuttled over to the toilet and pulled off some toilet paper. She wrapped up her tampon in it and threw it in the trash bucket right there.

I saw she was looking at the toilet bowl. Was she going to use it? Yep, she lifted the cover and plopped right down on it. I was glad not to be part of that again. She just sat there in quiet as I finally heard her trickle into the bowl below. As she was peeing, she bit down for some reason on her lower lip. That came out of nowhere as I saw her teeth pierce her lip just below me. She must be daydreaming about something. She quickly let go and let out a giggle as she ended her pee and wiped. If it weren’t for all the pain and anguish, I could get used to this voyeurism.

She quickly hopped in the shower and all my worries suddenly came back. I was going to be pummeled by giant water drops and washed off. With everything else that has happened to me, why not. She moved up to the shower monsoon and let it fall against her breasts as she looked up. I could actually hear the water slamming against her body. It was shear pandemonium. My fear started to subside as it looked like she was only going to wash her body. She backed up and reached for her body shampoo. I could see her squeeze some out into her hand and put the bottle back in place. As she looked down, I got a great view of her rubbing her body with soap down her chest and all over. I was in pure heaven just watching her as she twisted her head around to look over each portion of her body. She gave me quite a tour to be sure.

She bent over to soap up each leg being careful not to get her face and hair wet. Once soaped up, she again moved into the gushing water just enough to start rinsing off her body. I was relieved finally not to be in the way of any looming disaster. Maybe there is some hope. She looked up again, which cut off my view of her gorgeous body, as she used her hands to rid herself of soap with the water flow. Then just as quick as she jumped into the shower, she was ready to get out. It was a short show, but a great show at that. I would pay a premium price for that movie again.

She shut the water off and grabbed a towel and patted herself down. Again, as she bent over, I could see her breast dangling freely and rocking. If I ever get back to normal, I am going to take better notice of her. She wrapped a towel around her body as she once again looked in the mirror. She was holding onto the towel with one hand at her breasts while the other one started fluffing her hair. She had stunning blonde hair that fell down over her shoulders.

She abruptly stopped and reached across the counter for a bag of some sort. She unzipped it and I could see all sorts of makeup garbage as she peered in. Earlier thoughts came racing back into my mind. I could see her hand fumble around and pull out some bottle. She shook it in front of us and twisted the cap off. She poured some out on her middle finger and proceeded to rub her face and forehead. It appears she is touching up her foundation as she stretched her face upwards towards the mirror. Her titanic fingers whizzed pass me in a frenzy. She poured out several small batches and applied until she was satisfied and put the bottle back in the bag.

Once again she reached into the bag and pulled out a really long thin black container. It was her mascara. Grasping the container, she plunged the mascara wand in and out several times. She leaned in close to the makeup mirror hanging just off the wall as she brushed her eye lashes. She would repeat this again several times until her eye lashes were think and black. I could definitely make myself out now on her lip as the mirror magnified everything. Boy was I tiny indeed.

I could see all the cracks in her pasted on faded lipstick that surrounded me. As I looked up in the mirror, I could see every detail of her blue eyes and the thick black clumps of mascara that took hold of her lashes. It was amazing what women do to look pretty. If she would only look down at her lips there could have been a chance of her noticing me but she had no interest. She had other things on her mind.

The only thing left was to put on more lipstick. I prayed really hard she would overlook that part of the routine but it was not meant to be. She walked back out into the bedroom and grabbed her purse. That only meant one thing. You would think I would be used to this by now but the horror and the agony of the impending slam overwhelmed my senses once again. I knew now how this was going to feel which didn’t make things any better. She made her way back to the bathroom and dropped her purse on the counter as she quickly opened it and searched once again for my archenemy.

I saw the lipstick rise from the container once more just in front of me as she twisted it. Maybe she would see me this time in her makeup mirror. This was it. She was going for the makeup mirror – she was going to see me! She grabbed the mirror and then pushed it away as she leaned into the regular bathroom mirror. “Damn!” I yelled as she plunged the stick right into me and smeared. How much damn lipstick could one woman put on! I don’t know how much more wind I have in me to be knocked out.

Finally done freshening up her makeup, she dropped her towel to the floor and walked into the bedroom. I could see both my best friends just below doing their jobs of jiggling. She grabbed her lace bra and put in on sort of backwards so she could clasp it together as I looked down with her. She whisked it around her body and pulled the cups over her tits and the straps up and over her shoulders.

She pulled up each boob up in the cup to position them comfortably as they overflowed out. She was now looking down at her panties on the floor just at her feet. She put one legs sort of in the hole and bent over to grasp them as she put the other leg in. Before you knew it, she had them pulled up and snug against her womanhood.

Then she picked up her dress from the bed and held it out in front of her so we could both get a good look at it. It was very sexy. Why does she need to look so good tonight? Was I missing something? Was somebody else coming over I didn’t know about? She unzipped the back just a bit and stepped into it, pulling it up as she wriggled her arms though the openings. She was able to stretch her arm over her back to zip up – that was some move. She went back into the bathroom and looked at herself one last time. The dress was very snug and sculpted her body very nicely. It also showed much cleavage as her boobs were popping out. I was quite proud of her.

She grabbed her purse and made her way through the kitchen where she opened the sliding glass doors and stepped out onto the patio. She seemed a bit anxious and nervous, not sure why. She put her purse down on the table and started rummaging through it to find something. As she pulled out what she looking for, I was a bit more than surprised. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I’ve never ever seen her smoke in the time that I have known her. She slid out one cigarette quickly right between her index and middle finger. Before I had anytime to contemplate what was actually happening, the cigarette was flying in right at me.

I saw the butt approaching fast. Again, all time slowed. I could clearly see the cigarette enter her lips just below me. I felt her lips pucker. She pushed it in a bit and I knew what was coming next. I headed right for it as she lowered her top lip to grasp it. I was now pinned and pinned tightly. The pain was once more unbearable. Still, in all my agony, I could just tell she was looking for her lighter. This was not going to be good…not good at all. I felt her pushing me into the cigarette more, crushing me. She was about to light it.

As she inhaled to light the cigarette, I was being pulverized until she quickly pulled it out and exhaled. The smoke billowing past me came out of her mouth as if I were in hurricane force winds holding on for dear life. All I could do is close my eyes and let out loud painful coughs of disgust. As the smoke cleared, I could look up and out in a daze to see that she had the cigarette between her fingers with her thumb and huge nail in front of the butt end just in front of me. She had crossed her one arm around her waist while the other was perched in it at the elbow for support. All I could do is just stare right at it and wait for the next pounding.

She flicked the cigarette with her thumb…here it comes again. This time the butt end caught me and ripped against me as she slid it back into her mouth. She clamped down hard and inhaled. I can’t believe my body could take this kind of beating. Thank god the butt had some give in it as I was being smushed out of life. The smell of the cigarette in my face was putrid, but that didn’t matter now. As she pulled the butt out of her mouth this time, it dragged against me like sandpaper. I could tell my position on her lip was weakening. I closed my eyes and waited for the storm. She puckered her lips again to vent her nervousness and calm down. It was pure torture for me.

I was really scared shitless. I felt myself beginning to break free as all that smoke passed by again. I could feel my body partially dangling from her lip now. I had no time to react as she went for another puff. I could see the end of the butt now completely covered in red from her lipstick. Bam! Right in and smushed down. As she pulled out the cigarette from her mouth this time, I went with it. I was completely free of her lip only to be hitched to her cigarette by the clumps of pasty lipstick. I was now stomach down, puttied on the butt of her cigarette.

Joan came out onto the patio behind her, startling my wife. She swung around quickly and I could turn my head just enough to see Joan just standing there as my wife hung the cigarette just in front of her breasts. Joan looked amazing. I tried in vain to move and peel myself off…it was no use. Her lipstick was like super glue. I heard my wife say hello and something about wait here while she gets some wine glasses. Joan said something back about how she hoped that my wife didn’t mind her barging in. Then my wife did something totally unexpected (totally unexpected by me) and handed her cigarette off to Joan. They are closer friends than I thought. I was being passed off from my wife to her best friend. It didn’t take a genius to know what was to happen next.

Now Joan held the cigarette just in front of her mouth between her fingers while she said something back to my wife. I didn’t catch what it was since I was now freaking out, awaiting my fate of Joan’s mouth. I saw her lips part and pucker as I drew nearer and nearer. Bam! Again. Squeezed down and flattened like a pancake again. She squeezed tighter than my wife did. It was killing me as she inhaled. As her lips separated, I was pulled from the cigarette by her lipstick. I screamed in terror as the cigarette left me. How could everything go so wrong? I was now part of Joan’s upper lip frozen. Her lipstick must have really been caked on to pull on me like that. What are the odds I would now end up on someone else’s lip? But why not…it’s my lot in life I guess.

My wife came back out with the wine glasses and opener. While she was opening the bottle, Joan excused herself to the bathroom. Joan’s voice had a somewhat higher pitch which pierced through my ears as she spoke. How could she not notice me on her lip? Surely she could feel something not right. I guess Joan had to pee. I prayed that I wouldn’t become part of her mess as I could feel that I wasn’t lodged quite as tight on her lip as I was my wife’s.

She entered the bathroom, turned on the light and closed the door. She leaned over into the mirror to check out her face just like my wife did. I heard her whisper to herself how she thought my wife looked really good. What up with that? She let her purse fall off her shoulder and on to the counter. She was getting ready to pee. At least that’s what I thought. She swung her small purse around and unzipped it. Good god, not again! She took out her compact and powdered her face. She powdered it quite a bit as her hand raced by again and again, swiping her face every which way.

I just knew in my gut that I was going to take a hammering again with her worried about her makeup like this. I was waiting for it. I knew it had to come. Her head swung down to look back into her purse as she grabbed a long black cylinder object. It sort of looked like my wife’s mascara container but not as long. She twisted of the top and I saw a small pad on the end of a stick covered in pink. It was lipstick! But this lipstick was brush on.

I saw the wad of pink goo headed right towards me. She smeared the gunk across her lower lip back and forth and then dipped the wand back into the container for more. This next application would be meant for me. I waited. And here it came. She started on the opposite side of her mouth as she swiped her lip towards me. It passed over me covering me in one fell swoop in pink plaster. Then it quickly passed over me again back to the other side.

I didn’t hurt as much this time since I wasn’t smashed. It rolled over me like a large wet paint roller pasting me in place. I exhaled really hard to clear a path to breathe…that’s about all I could do before the lipstick set in pretty fast. She leaned back into the mirror once again really close and I could barely see the spot I was in all covered in pink. She smacked her lips together and mushed them. Again, that hurt as hell – mashing me into her lower lip and smearing me. Someone clearly wanted to punish me. If this wasn’t such a dire situation I would be laughing hysterically about all this – covered in pee, shit, red lipstick, and now pink lipstick. I could tell this was never going to end.

Joan and I made our way back to the patio when we saw my wife in the living room sitting on the sofa with two glasses of wine on the table in front of her. She quickly halted and scooted around a chair and plopped herself on the sofa next to my wife. Joan reached over and grabbed the glass in front of her. I was once again awaiting the drink. I remember lunch vividly as if it just happened mere moments ago. No sooner than I thought that, a glass was in view bearing my way.

I am not much of a wine drinker but tonight I had no choice. She rested the glass on her bottom lip and started to raise it. This time everything was different. It was a very slow raise as the wine started heading my way. The wine flowed smoothly into her mouth as she took a big sip. I didn’t even get wet or get a taste. It was then her tongue slurped me as she pulled the glass away. I did get a taste after all. The taste of wine and lipstick – what a combination.

Joan started to chat on and on about people at work while my wife gladly chirped in with her thoughts. The laughing was insane like nails on a chalkboard as my body shuddered. Joan had an awful laugh as she would bring her hand up to her mouth to cover her smile. This went on and on for quite a while as I became foggy and bewildered. I would passed out from extreme torment only to be shaken awake by her tongue and lip smacking and that dreadful sip of wine. As time went by, her sips became more of gulps and I was now being smashed and drenched in wine. I was starting to lose some of my senses which probably was a good thing.

It was then Joan started to ask about me and my wife and how we were getting along in our marriage. That certainly caught my attention and I perked up to listen in - although I could clearly hear every word from both of them. They seemed exceptionally close to each other now as they talked. Joan was even touching my wife’s leg now and then. Something strange indeed was going on but I let it go as girl to girl gestures. My wife happily replied we were doing great. Joan asked about our sex lives. Boy she holds nothing back…obviously the wine was taking control of both of them.

My wife again happily replied it was great. I felt relieved. Then came that big “But” word. “But I wouldn’t mind a little more excitement and adventure” as she smile devilishly back at Joan and I. That’s when I saw my wife put her hand on Joan’s leg. This can’t be happening what I think is happening. Joan and I took another gulp of wine, which I needed, as I felt her lips widen from ear to ear with her own grin as she put her hand on my wife’s hand. I had no idea my wife felt that way and I couldn’t do anything now to tell her. All I could do is watch this night unfold into something bizarre.